tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34866775.post3110868229714865771..comments2023-06-14T06:46:23.844-05:00Comments on Savvy Working Gal: Does Your Husband Take Care of You?Savvyworkinggalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08159197609419858161noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34866775.post-38530051614400614732015-05-09T08:23:52.571-05:002015-05-09T08:23:52.571-05:00Oh man oh man....what a can of worms with this one...Oh man oh man....what a can of worms with this one! No way, no how, not at all, never does my husband ever "take care of me," not even when I am sick, not even when I am recovering from having a baby, never. In his defense, he didn't have the opportunity when he was deployed. In my defense, I am a very independent person who, like you, works for what I have. I built this life alongside him, but on my own. The house, the yard, the date nights, the family....that's all me. I built this. Now that I am "dependent" on his income, I find myself scrambling for new sources of money so I can retain that independence. I am not comfortable placing any amount in trust in another person to keep my head above water, regardless of marriage or not. It's just not smart these days.Jen Ludhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07792655854078025224noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34866775.post-59382248798429862522015-05-09T07:54:28.755-05:002015-05-09T07:54:28.755-05:00My first thought is - of course my husband takes c...My first thought is - of course my husband takes care of me! I wouldn't have married him if he didn't. I make more than he does so he doesn't take care of my financially, although more of his money goes to supporting the vision of the future that we have...so perhaps he does. I think, though, more than that, I have a skewed relationship with money, and he is the one who is working to make sure that our money is doing what it needs to do. Jenhttp://www.piercedwonderings.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34866775.post-81296594794644725972015-05-06T19:37:27.932-05:002015-05-06T19:37:27.932-05:00Awesome question. I think independence is a huge t...Awesome question. I think independence is a huge thing. My mom was the one who was working while my dad went through grad school. I never thought of being taken care of and I definitely didn't see that around me when I was growing up. Thanks for the thought provoking post!phyllishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14854882868083689398noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34866775.post-15049543286148374432015-05-05T20:50:05.352-05:002015-05-05T20:50:05.352-05:00Agree - so surprised my niece who is very trendy m...Agree - so surprised my niece who is very trendy made that statement. And yes your mom is right - your husband better treat you well. Savvyworkinggalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08159197609419858161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34866775.post-40899098266477032792015-05-05T20:37:02.577-05:002015-05-05T20:37:02.577-05:00What great food for thought! I am an independent p...What great food for thought! I am an independent person and don't like the idea of being taken care of... Yet, I've never thought it was a bad thing when a woman bragged about her husband taking care of her.Midnight Cowgirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01421913320445099664noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34866775.post-34457466265159174652015-05-05T11:41:51.832-05:002015-05-05T11:41:51.832-05:00Hi Savvy. Another fantastic post.
I was raised t...Hi Savvy. Another fantastic post. <br /><br />I was raised to be fiercely independent - to not rely on anyone for anything. I am glad for it. During times that II was not working I felt trapped and controlled. I needed to make my own money and that brought me freedom, a boost in self esteem and confidence.Darlene Nemethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10654592264544288998noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34866775.post-23260669635565038762015-05-05T01:28:44.650-05:002015-05-05T01:28:44.650-05:00I'm divorced. I grew up in that era where a hu...I'm divorced. I grew up in that era where a husband was supposed to take care of you. It's what I saw on tv shows like Bewitched and Donna Reed Show. But then I discovered Mary Tyler Moore Show and my outlook changed. The realization that I could take care of myself. And of course, nothing forces you to do so like divorce. I'm happier for it.monicastangledwebhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15311906301829091998noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34866775.post-52004039169854125682015-05-04T22:19:35.416-05:002015-05-04T22:19:35.416-05:00I believe every woman needs to be in control of he...I believe every woman needs to be in control of her financial independence. My husband would love to be able to buy me lots of nice things but it's not in our budget. Besides, i'll just buy it myself!Thien-Kim aka Kimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00944429273741512796noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34866775.post-42460365397141105732015-05-04T21:13:43.178-05:002015-05-04T21:13:43.178-05:00Yes, PiC takes care of me. And I take care of him....Yes, PiC takes care of me. And I take care of him. We are partners, 100%, and we support each other. But in the old fashioned sense? Of course not. That's my province. Money is my jam and I make sure we are financially set every day that we work and I manage the accounts. <br /><br />Even when I wasn't working outside the home during leave or was making less, I was on top of the money situation. And that's very nearly as valuable as earning the income. Revanchehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07293868300535734672noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34866775.post-7047256248620214522015-05-04T17:46:43.202-05:002015-05-04T17:46:43.202-05:00Savvy, have thought about this off and on all day...Savvy, have thought about this off and on all day, and still don't know what to respond. I am fiercely independent and never wanted a man to "take care of me", but the companionship and shared life that comes with marriage can be very supportive in ways other than financial. I feel very lucky to have had that. <br /><br />It's interesting, tho, the stages we have traveled together. Early in our marriage we worked at home together, traveled together and were business partners. In some ways it was the best time of our life together. Later we both "went back to work" outside the home, and in many ways drifted apart some - you know the job takes a toll on everyone. for the past 8 years he has been retired, while i have worked at home and in many ways i have chaffed the most. While he provides a huge amount of support around the house (shopping, dishes, a bit of cooking, laundry) it has been very difficult to keep him out of my job, and i am often frustrated. I look forward to retirement - next month - and hope that we can return to the more even keel of those early years. The financial thing just hasn't been as big a deal, as the emotional thing. <br /><br />Excellent post and good question. hope all is well with you. webbhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15168174623602308906noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34866775.post-54026448375524310392015-05-04T06:25:59.502-05:002015-05-04T06:25:59.502-05:00I was raised to be financially independent but my ...I was raised to be financially independent but my parents wanted me to marry someone who had a good job to take care of me and my kids. At first, I made more than my husband but he's since caught up and now supports our family financially. I am glad to not have the stress of my job and I enjoy spending more time with my boys. I have been on both sides which is great. I love being able to have the flexibility to make my own decisions about my work status. I didn't think I had a choice given my expensive chronic illness but turns out, I do have a choice and loving it. Tanya @ Moms Small Victorieshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17520133909287154535noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34866775.post-22018057754914202412015-05-03T21:54:55.544-05:002015-05-03T21:54:55.544-05:00I feel like marrying someone to "have them ta...I feel like marrying someone to "have them take care of me" is also wildly old-fashioned. If everything works out, I'd like to enjoy my financial independence! :P I definitely would've been furious too. My mom actually says that to me sometimes, but she means it more in the sense that he better treat me well (which I agree with). I'd go with your last sentence as the way to interpret it too! :]Farrahhttp://www.fairyburger.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34866775.post-60947817501145837472015-05-03T20:02:08.182-05:002015-05-03T20:02:08.182-05:00For me emotional support is so important. I think ...For me emotional support is so important. I think because money caused so much stress for my aunts they wanted my life to be easier. Plus, they really did grow up in the husband takes care of the wife era.Savvyworkinggalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08159197609419858161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34866775.post-35493603896020020612015-05-03T20:00:29.952-05:002015-05-03T20:00:29.952-05:00I thought of you while writing this post. As I s...I thought of you while writing this post. As I side note, I supported my old boyfriend for years. We had other issues in addition to lack of money when we broke up, but his unwillingness to work didn't help. I was probably better off being single than with him, but it took me a long time to realize this. One of my former managers suggested he was holding me back. Not a great recommendation. Like Bolick in the book I was better able to discover who I was as a single. I still that way. When you are coupled there is always compromise. Sometimes just with how you spend your time and who you spend it with, but I enjoy the companionship. I continue to wish you well. Savvyworkinggalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08159197609419858161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34866775.post-13178130741782434502015-05-03T19:50:28.476-05:002015-05-03T19:50:28.476-05:00In the traditional sense? No, this is never going ...In the traditional sense? No, this is never going to be a breadwinner husband/stayhome wife marriage. I suspect your last sentence is probably spot on about your husband's niece's meaning.NZ Musehttp://nzmuse.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34866775.post-14706235855594202572015-05-03T19:04:17.888-05:002015-05-03T19:04:17.888-05:00Oh my this one is such food for thought. I have a...Oh my this one is such food for thought. I have always looked at my marriage as a partnership of support. When one needs it the other gives it. It has worked well for us, and I think has rubbed off on out daughters. Who are not afraid to work, and know that if they want something they have to work for it. Maybe as you said your Aunts wanted your spouse to take care of you in the Stress department!!!! Hopefully :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09733623139454613638noreply@blogger.com