I Admit It – I Am a Nervous Nellie

I’m not sure when my husband began referring to me as a “Nervous Nellie,” but he has been doing so for quite a while now. I mostly ignore him when he does this not allowing him to deflect my anxiousness. That is until my mom got cancer. 

Last March, my mom was diagnosed with clear-cell carcinoma, an aggressive form of uterine cancer. She required in home care after undergoing a radical hysterectomy, so I volunteered to stay with her for a few days post-surgery.  Before sending her home from the hospital, a nurse spent a few minutes with the two of us demonstrating how to change my mom’s catheter, teaching her how to inject a syringe containing blood thinner into her stomach and giving me a breathing tube she was to breath into every hour to alleviate her coughing.

That evening my sister who works in health care pointed out I had not changed my mother’s catheter properly, my mom was refusing to eat and managing all of her medications was turning out to be a more daunting task than I had anticipated.

To say I was nervous when the visiting nurse called to check on us the following morning was probably an understatement. She asked me a few questions, recommended I purchase a probiotic and offered to stop in. After meeting my mom and talking to her, this nurse turned to me and said, “You are a Nervous Nellie aren’t you?” I couldn’t help but be amused, perhaps my husband has been right all along; a fact he enjoyed immensely when I shared her comment with him when I returned home.

The remainder of the year did not ease my Nervous Nellie tendencies. In August my Mom was in a car-accident on her way to a family get-together to celebrate her cancer-free diagnosis. No one was hurt and the accident had not been her fault, but this party may have been the worst family celebration I have ever attended. As the year progressed we learned my mom now has two hernias resulting from her radiation treatments and will most likely have to wear Depends for the rest of her life; apparently the radiation also damaged her bowel. The good news is my mom continues to remain cancer free.

As I re-read my 2014 goals, I realize other than keeping a gratitude journal (the only resolution I managed to stick to) they were all focused on trying to be more perfect – don’t eat sugar, be organized, suffer for 15 minutes, find my Calcutta – no wonder I am so nervous. Perhaps my 2015 resolutions should be to kayak more, spend more time playing with my dogs, going to movies and reading for pleasure.  

Are you a “Nervous Nellie?” If so, what do you do to relax?

Should My Dog’s Teeth Be Professionally Cleaned?

Ten years ago while we were about to become a dog owner for the first time a friend was contemplating whether she should have her 11-year old dog’s teeth professionally cleaned. The procedure would cost $250. Professionally cleaning a dog’s teeth! I had never heard of such a thing. My friend not wanting to subject her older dog to the anesthesia decided to forego the procedure.

I faced a similar decision a couple of weeks ago when my husband returned from taking Teddy our eight-year old yellow Labrador retriever to the vet.

Our vet who had been keeping an eye on Teddy’s teeth for some time now recommended we have his teeth professionally cleaned. Teddy had developed a mild form of gingivitis. His teeth which had begun showing signs of plaque when he was only two year old were now brown and his gums were red and swollen. We received a quote of $412 without x-rays, $599 with for this procedure. The x-rays were needed to determine if any teeth needed to be extracted. The cost of teeth extraction was extra. $600!!! The cost of teeth cleaning had gone up quite a bit in ten years.  

We looked at Teddy’s teeth ourselves:

and decided to go ahead with the procedure. Our vet thought Teddy may be in pain – we had noticed there were times when Teddy ate slower and more tentatively than usual. In addition, not having them cleaned now could lead to other health problems later on. The bacteria from gingivitis could travel through Teddy’s bloodstream contributing to heart, kidney or liver disease. His teeth would also continue to deteriorate which could lead to infection, teeth loss and difficulty eating.

His x-ray’s detected one bad tooth that had to be extracted. The upper right 12 incisor was fractured and its pulp was exposed. Not removing it could lead to an abysses tooth and damage to the teeth surrounding it.

The cost of the procedure included pre-anesthetic blood work. These tests checked Teddy’s blood sugar, kidney values, and red blood cell count. They were to detect abnormalities that could affect anesthesia. He also received intravenous fluids during anesthesia. These were given to combat a decrease in blood pressure which sometimes results from the anesthesia drugs. In addition, an intravenous catheter allows immediate administration of emergency drugs if there is an adverse reaction from the anesthesia.    

Here is the break down of costs for Teddy’s professional teeth cleaning including tooth extraction:
........ ........ ........

Description	Cost
Anesthesia and IV Catheter	43.70
Pain Injection (2)	48.40
Surgical Monitor	30.20
Scale and Polish Teeth	81.70
Fluoride Treatment	23.00
Day-Care Kennel Use	20.60
Cefazolin (Antibiotic)	21.00
IV Fluids During Surgery	21.60
Radio graph Dental Full Mouth	130.00
CHEM/CBC/UA In-House	0.00
Chem Panel w/Electrolytes	72.82
CBC (Complete Blood Count)	49.30
Nerve Block(s)	18.50
Rimadyl 100mg Chewable (4)	18.20
Non-Surgical Tooth Extraction	35.00
Total	$614.20

Teddy did very well at the clinic and other than a couple of hours of whimpering at home (which resulted in lots of pets and belly rubs) he had a speedy recovery. Here is a photo of his clean pearly whites.

We are to begin Brushing Teddy’s teeth in 2 weeks. For best results, we should brush them 3-4 times a week.

Buck our ten-year old golden retriever has never had his teeth professionally cleaned. He hasn’t needed it. We’ve always brushed both our dog’s teeth once a week. Buck does chew on sticks more often and has a morning routine that includes chewing on his Galileo bone which may have helped prevent tartar buildup.

In hindsight, I should have paid more attention when my friend was contemplating whether or not to have her dog’s teeth cleaned. Dogs are expensive, much more expensive than I ever could have imagined before owning one. Though I do think our vet is on the high side and some of the above services may not have been necessary, i.e. a charge for day-care kennel use I do want my dogs to be healthy and receive good veterinary care.

Have you ever had your dog’s teeth professionally cleaned? Are there any home remedies you practice to keep your dog’s teeth clean? What about the cost of Teddy’s professional cleaning? Was $600 for this procedure low, about average or kind of high?

Things New Grads Should (But Never Do) Think About Come First-Time Employment

The newly graduated 20-somethings in the world today face a lot of struggles in the personal and professional realms. Of course, college grads have a long history of struggling with the transition from college dorm rooms and heated academic lectures to office politics and frenzied company meetings. While our college careers certainly prepare us for some aspects of adult life and self-preservation, there are some areas of becoming a true adult that college, term papers, and frat parties just can't teach us. With the added challenges facing college grads in today's society, most 20-somethings are simply thrilled to be employed at all. But, even after all the resume sending, cover letter writing, and eventual employment, there are still many aspects of becoming employed for the first time that newbie graduates need to consider. These three things are employment musts that many first-time employees overlook and underestimate.

The Retirement Plan

I know, I know. How can you possibly start to think about retirement, if you only just found a job after months of searching? Trust me—I shared your sentiments as well. But, as far away and dull as it sounds, retirement plans are a very important aspect of becoming a responsible, employed adult. Look into your company's retirement offerings. You want to begin thinking about the future right away. By starting to think about and plan out your retirement now, you can set yourself up for a very comfortable future. At the very least, when you start your first "real world" job out of college, look into the retirement options you have. What types of plans does your company offer? What options might make the most sense for your situation? By simply becoming better educated on the topics of retirement and IRA accounts, you can more responsibly plan for your future and manage your finances.

Actual Financial Planning
While retirement falls in place with financial planning, there is much more to the topic than just thinking about starting a retirement plan. For many newly employed college grads, "saving" is not necessarily at the top of our to-do list. This is the first time that you're making "real" money for yourself and have only yourself (and your college loans) to spend it on. With this freedom comes a lot of reckless or at least thoughtless spending. You want to celebrate the fact that you've actually graduated from college, landed a job, and survived. Spending is easy to do and it seems logical in the first few months. However (and this is a big however), it's a very wise idea to look into your financial situation very carefully after you get your first paycheck. Sit down and look through things. See exactly how much money you earn, learn where that money is going (loans, rent, groceries, gas, etc.), and try to create a financial plan. Divvy up your finances and try to make a plan as to where things will go. How much will you spend on necessities (rent, gas, food), how much goes to "fun", and how much will you put towards savings?

Professional* Networking

One of the most challenging aspects of entering the professional world is learning how to navigate the social world of an office. This is by far one of the things I struggled with most in the first few months of my first "real" job. The bottom line is that communication and friendships just can't be the same when you're in a professional office atmosphere. Though you may be surrounded by people your age day in and day out (much like college), you can't treat these colleagues the same way you would college dorm mates. Of course, you're going to make friends and build relationships with your coworkers after a period of time. It's good to be friends with your coworkers, but you want to be careful with your interactions. The professional world is different from any other realm. You need to keep things professional. Watch the way you talk about certain aspects of your work like. Try to compartmentalize to some degree. If you become close friends with a coworker, remain solely coworkers in the office and solely friends inside the office.

An education blogger by trade, Maria Rainer loves to explore the connections between the web and a college education. She writes for www.onlinedegrees.org on online student advice columns and substantive posts on the latest trends in online education. Please share your comments with Maria.

Do I need to attend a funeral for my co-worker’s family member?

Recently I read the following question on twitter:

 A co-worker's family member passed away and a lot of my department is going to the funeral to support her. But I don't want to go. Am I cold?

This employee began working at her company eight months ago and has worked with this person, who is actually her department manager, quite often. She doesn’t do well at funerals, has never met the family member and has SO MUCH STUFF to do at work... plus it's in the middle of a work day. It is a pretty big deal and she is getting pressure to attend.

What should she do?

Initially I suggested she just send a card, but when I mentioned my response to my husband he said I was wrong.

My husband, who is better at etiquette and office politics than I, says she needs to attend. He thinks working with someone for eight months is a sufficient amount of time to establish a relationship. It doesn’t matter that she didn’t know the family member, the purpose of a funeral service is to show support for the living. It appears as though her department plans to attend the funeral as a group to show support for their manager. It would be a good move on the part of this employee to attend as member of her team.

She doesn’t need to stay for the actual service:
From the employee's tweets I think she is considering attending the actual funeral service. She needs to only attend the visitation to express her condolences to her manager and if appropriate her manager’s immediate family. A fifteen minute visit would be sufficient. It is usually customary to view the deceased and if appropriate spend a few moments in silent prayer, but this isn’t mandatory. She should also make sure she signs the guest book. The service itself is usually an intimate ceremony attended by immediate family and close friends.

Since the service occurs during the work day she may need to take time off  without pay to attend. If so, she could stay late or work through her lunch to make up time and catch up with her work.

A few of my husband’s co-workers attended both of his parent's funeral visitations. They didn't stay for more than fifteen minutes. My husband was cognizant of and appreciated those who made an effort to attend.

Last month my manager’s mother passed away. Her funeral service was six hours away. All three of my company’s owners traveled the six hours to attend her visitation. They did not stay for the funeral service which was held the next day. If the visitation had been local, I am sure every person in my department would have attended and that our company would have allowed us to attend without docking our pay.

Instead, individually we sent sympathy cards to our manager’s home and a token memorial in our manager’s mother’s name to the private school where she had taught for many years.

When I was the tweeter's age (I think she is in her early twenties) I probably wouldn’t have wanted to attend either, but now that I am older I realize doing the appropriate thing is more important than our own wishes and conveniences.

What are your thoughts?

Making a "BIG" Mistake at Work

We’ve heard it before, “We all have off days,” “We are only human” and “Everyone makes mistakes.” Just knowing these facts does not make one bit of difference when you/I am the one who makes the “Big” mistake at work. When I was younger I used to stew over my mistakes for days; I’d contemplate whether I could hide them or how to tell my supervisors what I had done with the least amount of repercussion.

A couple of years into my career, I attended a seminar where the speaker offered the following advice when you’ve made a mistake at work:

1. Inform your manager as soon as you discover the mistake. The longer you wait the worse it will be for you and the company. The sooner management is aware of the mistake the sooner they can fix it or make plans to lesson the damage. Also, the longer you wait the longer you carry around all that stress. It isn’t good for you.

2. Do whatever you can to minimize the damage.

3. Put the mistake into perspective. Consider will this matter a year from now.

For many years I followed this advice and it has always made a difference.

On the last working day of 2011, I again had the opportunity to put this advice into play. I wired too much money to a vendor. This was a big mistake. It was the last day of the year and we were managing every penny in our company’s bank account in order to have a positive cash balance on our year-end financial statements. Plus, wires are like sending cash, once the money is gone from your account it is gone. Here is what occurred after I made the mistake:

I did not discover the error. My boss did. He called me after I emailed him the wire confirmation, informing me I wired the wrong amount. I immediately went online and tried to cancel the transaction. It was too late. I tried calling my bank representative. She was on vacation. I called our bank’s wire division. I wasn’t allowed to speak to them without a password. My boss gave me his. By using his password I compromised it and it became invalid. They would no longer speak to me or my boss. I called our bank manager. He was able to verify the wire had gone through and that he was unable to call it back. He would have the bank contact the wire recipient and ask them to reject the wire. He did tell me the vendor did not have to do this. While I waited:

I contemplated whether this will matter a year from now - probably not if we were able to get our money back today. I thought about the woman in North Korea I had been reading about in Nothing to Envy: Ordinary Lives in North Korea by Barbara Demick the book I was currently reading:

Friday nights she stayed especially late for self-criticism. In these sessions members of her work unit – the department to which she was assigned - would stand up and reveal to the group anything she had done wrong. It was the Communist version of the Catholic confessional. Mrs. Song would usually say, in all sincerity, that she feared she wasn’t working hard enough. (Page 43)

I was comforted knowing that I did not live in North Korea.

Our bank finally contacted me, the vendor had rejected the wire, the money was back in our account and I was able to resend the wire with the correct dollar amount.

What did I learn from this?
When I am not sure about something I need to ask questions and not assume.
I was confused by the voided check I had been provided as backup for placing the wire. It was not the standard format I use to wire money. I wired the amount of the voided check rather than scribbled amount hand written at the bottom of the check. I should have went back to the manager and said, “I am to wire x amount to account # blah blah blah and use routing number x correct.”

I need to stay off social networking sites while at work.
In Alison Green of Ask A Manager's post 8 New Year's Resolutions for Your Career she writes:

Stop playing online. If you’re using social networking sites or instant-messaging with friends throughout the workday, it’s impacting your work. Sure, maybe you’re still getting the basics done, but you don’t want to just do the basics—you want to build a stellar reputation as someone who routinely exceeds expectations, because that’s what will give you job security and open up future opportunities.

Now I am not on Facebook or Twitter while at work, but I do spend time reading blogs and articles online. The problem is I spend time thinking about what I read and not concentrating on my work, which has led to mistakes.

Have you made a "Big" mistake at work? Do you have any additional pointers to help prevent mistakes or advice on how to bounce back quickly? If so please share.

Know your limits and learn to say “NO”

If I were to write “A letter to my 18 year old self” I would need to include:

Know your limits and learn to say “NO”

Last summer, my friend Jess asked if I would help her run a charity event to be held in February. She had received a tip for a cheaper venue and was certain her company would sponsor the event. We came up with some great ideas to “change it up” and attract a larger crowd. Typically, January is a busy month for me; I work as an accountant and have spent many Januarys working 50+ hours a week closing the books and preparing for the year-end audit. Jess was persuasive and I agreed thinking I’ll find a way to make it all work.

The venue fell through; Jess’s company waited ‘til the last possible minute to commit to the sponsorship forcing us to hold off publicity ‘til early February. Everything was more work than anticipated. My year-end audit was a week earlier than usual, a co-worker became seriously ill and I had to cover for her. Much of the communication regarding the event needed to be completed during work hours. My manager pointed out volunteer work pays the same regardless of contribution. I ended up telling Jess I had to scale back my participation during the month of January. I know she was perturbed and I was overwhelmed with guilt.

The event wasn’t well attended and despite making money we don’t consider it a success. My relationship with Jess has changed and all I keep thinking is why did I say yes. I knew last summer working on an event in January would be difficult in the best of years. If only I had realized my limits and learned to say no back when I was 18 imagine how much aggravation I would have saved myself over the years.

I had always thought learning to say “NO” was a “woman” problem or a problem for young adults. Then I came across this post on Satisfying Retirement's blog. One of the things he has learned after a decade of retirement is he is Much Better at Saying "No." His lesson is so good I have to include it in its entirety. He writes:

When someone first retires there is often a rush of requests for that person's time. Volunteering for this or that, heading a committee, helping with the Boy Scout meeting..... the lack of a full time job must mean you are constantly available to help others. But, as the years pass by the ability to filter out the things you don't want to do becomes greater. The ability to say "No" to everything comes more easily. You find the strength to say "Yes" to the things that are meaningful to you and most helpful to others.

Surprisingly, this adjustment has been as difficult as any. Saying "no" is not part of our nature. We all want to be needed, liked, appreciated, and desired. The more things you are asked to help with the more you are validated. To turn someone down is to risk being seen as standoffish or aloof or selfish.

But, just as an awareness of the passage of time grows as you age, so does the understanding of protecting yourself. Spread too thin, saying "yes" too many times, and you will drown in all that validation. By becoming more selective you will do a better job at whatever you do agree to do, and be happier in the process.

As for me, I feel as I did at the end of a semester when I was attending college while working full-time. I need to take some time to kick back and take care of myself for awhile. In the future I will consider my limits before committing to volunteer work and I will never volunteer for anything that requires me to work during the month of January again.

What ramifications will debt write-off have on credit score?

George heard a debt settlement advertisement on his way to work claiming he could,

“Pay just 50% of what he owed."

Currently he owes $16,000 in credit card debt most of which was charged by his wife who he says is terrible with money.* He is tired of paying her debt and would love to have half of it written off. George called the debt settlement company and was told for an upfront fee plus 18% of the balance written off they would negotiate a settlement. His question for me was what effects if any would the debt written-off have on his credit score?

Let start with ~ How does a debt settlement company work?
George has been making his monthly credit card payments on time and is current on all his other debts. As a rule, creditors won't negotiate with consumers who are current on their bills, often refusing to discuss settlements with anyone who is not at least three to six months behind. Knowing this the debt settlement company will instruct George to stop making payments to his creditors. Instead he will make payments to the debt settlement company, after taking the first couple of payments as their fee; the debt settlement company will make offers to his creditors to settle his debt for a lump sum payment. This lump sum payment will come from the amounts he has paid to the debt settlement company.

What this company didn’t tell George is that debt settlement only works for a few of the consumers who attempt it; not all credit card companies will settle. Consumers who enter the process may endure months of creditors' angry phone calls, plus a growing debt load as fees, penalties and interest are tacked on to their original balance due. Plus, there's the possibility creditors will sue.

If George is successful in obtaining a debt settlement how will it be reported on his credit report?
Debts paid off as part of a negotiated settlement will generally show “Paid by Settlement” on a consumer’s credit report. If he were to apply for a new loan, the prospective lender will understand that a debt paid by settlement means that his repayment did not cover the total debt that he had accumulated, and that his creditor accepted a lesser amount.

How will a debt write-off affect his actual credit score?
His credit score is based on information contained in his credit report, with the highest consideration given to how he repaid his debts. As stated above, the first thing the debt settlement company will instruct George to do is to stop paying his debts.

According to Liz Pulliam Weston's article 5 ways to kill your credit scores:

The 680 scorer would lose 45 to 65 points with this maneuver, while the 780 scorer would shed 105 to 125 points.

Our scenario assumed that borrowers would miss one payment before settling the debt with their credit card companies. In reality, debt settlement negotiations can drag on much longer, with each missed payment taking another chunk out of your score.

Settling a debt with a collection agency would hurt less, probably much less, because the FICO formula is set up to weigh more heavily what the original creditor says about you than what a collection agency reports. But if our borrowers were settling with a collection agency instead, their scores would be lower to begin with, because they would have collection accounts on their records.

Long-term effects:
The long default on payments, followed by the settlement for less than you owed, is going to stay on your credit report for seven years and look just as bad, or worse, than a bankruptcy (particularly a chapter 13 bankruptcy.)

Other considerations:
George will receive a 1099 form from each of the credit card companies he settles with. The amount of debt forgiven is considered income and is taxable.

This is the hidden cost of higher insurance rates (insurance companies now check credit reports when renewing auto policies) and higher interest rates on any debts he might incur in the future.

What to do instead:
Before George goes the settlement route, he should visit a consumer-credit counseling agency for advice. The first visit is free.

The National Foundation for Credit Counseling (http://www.nfcc.org/) has a tool for locating counselors nationwide. Credit counselors offer debt-management plans. Under these, creditors agree to accept reduced monthly payments or lower interest rates in return for the consumer agreeing to pay the full debt on a set schedule. But consumers who can't afford the monthly payment won't qualify.

Next, he should talk to an attorney to assess whether bankruptcy makes sense. Debt settlement "is not a decision you make without talking to a bankruptcy attorney, because you could be sued" by going the settlement route.

He should try to negotiate with the credit card companies himself:
George did call two of the credit card companies. One said their company did not negotiate debt settlements. The other would not consider debt settlement at this time because he is current with his payments. As a courtesy, they checked his credit report finding only one bad mark; a late student loan payment from several years ago. The only relief they could offer currently was to restructure his debt over a five year period. During this time he could no longer use his credit card to make purchases, but his total outstanding credit would show on his credit report. They could not reduce his interest rate; he already had the lowest rate they offered. He did not accept the restructure.

Realizing debt settlement was not an answer to his problems George is now looking for other methods to get out of debt.

*I recommended George and his wife take one of Dave Ramsey's money management classes offered at many churches in our area. I know several couples who have taken this class and have found it to be helpful.

He's polite, he doesn't make excuses, and he doesn't lie.

While discussing overdue accounts at a recent meeting, my boss made the comment he liked working with a particular customer even recommending the company extend his payment terms, “He’s polite, he doesn’t make excuses, and he doesn’t lie.” Unfortunately, honest non-abusive behavior such as this is rarely observed in our slow-paying customers.

This scenario reminded me of a chapter I had read in Stacy Horn’s book, Waiting for My Cats to Die: A Memoir. Stacy had received a hostile note from a customer who had become unhinged over an unpaid bill for services from her company Echo. In response she wrote:

It’s the rare person who says, “Oh God, I’m sorry, I wasn’t really using my account, I meant to close it.” No. Not only do they owe you money they have to be abusive about it on top of it. Then they have to come up with something to justify their hostility, like “Echo was so slow this month, and the phone lines keep disconnecting me.” Anything to prove that you’re the asshole, not them. But I’ve finally accepted that this is the defense that people adopt when they are in owing-money mode. This is how they cope.

I’ve been known to become unhinged a time or two myself especially when sneaky fees* appear on my cable or cell phone bill (not to mention the customer service rep who refused to accept my credit card payment until I located my password), but not every company is playing gotcha with sneaky fees. The majority of business owners are trying to sell you their product or idea at a fair price, so they can pay their own bills. If you can’t pay your bill on time or are no longer interested in receiving a service you legitimately signed up for why be abusive about it?  Be polite, don’t make excuses and don’t lie. You might receive better service in the long run.

*To learn more about sneaky fees and what to do about them I suggest reading Bob Sullivan's Gotcha Capitalism: How Hidden Fees Rip You Off Every Day-and What You Can Do About It.

Unethical Boss Behavior

Everyone is talking about the embezzlement that occurred at Koss Corp. If you are not familiar with the story JS Online reports:

Sue Sachdeva allegedly misappropriated funds to the tune of $31 million while working as Vice president of finance at Koss Corp., a Milwaukee maker of headphones.

Sachdeva's alleged scheme which goes back to at least 2004 came to light in December when American Express notified Michael J. Koss, chief executive officer at Koss, that money was being transferred from Koss accounts to pay for Sachdeva's luxury shopping bills.

According to her indictment:

Sachdeva had fraudulently authorized transfers from Koss accounts to pay her American Express bills and also transferred money from Koss accounts to fund cashier's checks that she used to pay for her personal expenses. She also issued checks payable to petty cash, and then she told employees to cash the checks and get cash, which Sachdeva used for her personal expenses. Sachdeva also converted traveler's checks that Koss purchased for its employees who were traveling on Koss business for her own use and the use of others.

She concealed the fraud by making and directing others to make many fraudulent entries in Koss' books and records, to make it appear that her transfers were legitimate business expenses. Sachdeva concealed and directed others to conceal the fake entries from Koss management and its auditors.

In addition to firing Sachdeva, Koss also suspended without pay two members of the accounting staff who served under her pending further investigation.

The question I was asked this week was not, “Why would she steal 31million to just piddle it away on clothes and luxury items” or “How could Michael Koss have been so oblivious?” or “Why didn’t Grant Thornton discover the fraud?”

I was asked:

Why didn’t her subordinates turn her in?

Tracey Coenen says Sachdeva may have coerced or tricked them.

I think it could have been possible for Sachdeva to have tricked them for awhile; the assistants may have been inexperienced, didn’t have an adequate knowledge of accounting, or were inept, but I’m having a hard time believing that over time they didn’t have an inkling something was amiss. Come on, any semi-competent accountant would have thought at least once during the five year period, ISN’T IT ODD SHE NEVER HAS A RECEIPT, as they handed over cash from the petty cash box or wired company money to pay her personal credit card.

I think they had suspicions or maybe even knew exactly what she was doing, but choose to look the other way. She was well known and respected in the community and they may not have wanted to be the one to bring her down; I guess this could be considered coercion, but I also read the rumor the lady at Koss was selling designer clothes to Koss employees with the tag on them originally for hundreds of dollars for as little as $10 per item.

We may never know why they didn’t report Sachdeva, but we do know they owed it to their company and their career to tell someone what she was doing. Even if it is determined they were not her collaborators, I highly doubt they will retain their jobs at Koss and can guarantee they will have a difficult time finding future employment in Milwaukee.

It is never easy to report your boss. What is a subordinate to do if they witness suspicious boss behavior?

- The easiest thing to do would be to collaborate with your colleagues. You’ve heard the phrase "safety in numbers."

-Approach your boss’s boss or HR with solid evidence. We think Mr. Jones is stealing from the till doesn’t cut it. Present emails and written documentation. In the absence of documentation, keep a log of conversations pertaining to the unethical activity as evidence.

-Stick to the facts. Saying, “And besides we don’t like him,” is irrelevant.

-Pick the most significant unethical behavior when reporting. I have a colleague whose boss asked her to issue him $40,000 of unapproved payroll advances. She chose to report a $4 questionable parking ticket to his boss. Needless to say, she accomplished nothing except appearing petty and further deteriorating the already strained relationship she had with her boss

-Is there more to the story than you realize? Donna my company’s accounts payable clerk confronted a manager about a salesman she thought was eating donuts on the company every day. He’s not eating them he’s giving them to prospective customers.

-Don’t be afraid to suggest your own internal controls if you see a deficiency or ask your audit firm for assistance in implementing stricter controls. My colleague above should have said, “I’m sorry Mr. Jones, but I can’t issue the $40,000 advance without our owner’s approval.”

-If you are not comfortable talking to your boss’s boss you could alert your outside Accounting firm of abuse and have them deal with it. If you go this route, it is imperative you have your facts in order. You do not want to subject your company and boss to unnecessary scrutiny when the situation could have easily been resolved in house.

-And finally you may have to quit. I know an accountant whose boss (the owner of the company) asked her to underreport the company’s payroll taxes. My advice to her was you need to get out now.

How about you; have you ever reported unethical boss behavior?

Taking personal responsibility for your life

At a recent seminar, one of the speakers made a casual comment linking Generation Y to the culture of irresponsibility. I have never been one to put much credence in generational generalizations or a one-size-fits-all approach.

As I look back on my early twenties, I wouldn’t describe myself as responsible. I was serious about my job and worked hard, but was more about having fun and just letting things happen than being responsible. I knew what I was supposed to do; live below my means, stop using my resources (money, time and energy) trying to impress people, and to end relationships that were bad for me or weren't working, but I didn't take the necessary steps to do so.

I remember the day I had a revelation similar to the one Trent had here on September 23, 2005. I was 28; had finally broken up with my boyfriend of seven years, a bad relationship I had allowed to continue way too long, was working full time and taking accounting courses at night. On this particular day, I was late for class and frantically searching for a parking place. Frustrated and angry I began blaming my parents and ex-boyfriend for the sorry state of my life. Suddenly, I realized none of them were magically going to appear and help me find a parking space. Nor, were they going to pay off my credit card debt, study for my exams or help me achieve any of my other goals. It was up to me. I realized at that moment I needed to take care of myself and accept responsibility for my own actions, decisions and goals. From that day forward, I began making the sacrifices necessary to achieve my goals. I used vacation time to study for exams. I stopped frivolous shopping and dining out; finally living below my means. Eventually, I finished my accounting courses and passed the CPA exam. I got control of my finances, paid off my car loan and credit card debt. I even put some money aside in case of an emergency.

Some additional great advice on becoming accountable comes from Danielle LaPorte's blog White Hot Truth. In her post, for rage babes flakes and tyrants get over it she writes:

Decide to just get over it. Let it be that simple. For most of us who had normally dysfunctional upbringings (I’m not talking about suffering exceptional atrocities or repetitive abuses,) our past is no excuse to continue being a flake, a tyrant, obnoxiously needy, or a rage-babe. Look, we’re all terrific for going to therapy, for having past life insights, and reading Wayne Dyer. Yeah for the New Age. Really. But knowing why you’re so screwed up is only half the journey. Choose to let it be done.

And from her comments:
I don't remember who said it but it's true that we need to spend only 10% of our time, thoughts, and energy talking about the problem and the other 90% working on a solution, a strategy, a plan.

Another commenter writes:
A friend of mine was whining to our small meet-for-coffee gathering about her life being screwed up because her parents, yada, yada, yada. One of the guys looked at her and said: "After 35, everybody needs a new excuse." It stopped her cold.

"After 35, everybody needs a new excuse." ~ I love that. I also think there should be an expiration date on blaming your ex-husband, boyfriend or even your current husband for your life’s circumstances. I was recently at a party where a woman was blaming her ex-husband for her unhappy life. She listed such undesirable factors as he liked dogs while she liked cats. She spoke with such venom and anger I had to ask how long it had been since she divorced. Her reply: Ten years ago.

I hate to see loved ones struggle and make the same mistakes I did, but sometimes failure is necessary before growth, and advice falls on deaf ears. Deciding to take responsibility for your life doesn’t seem to occur at any one particular age, but is a necessary step towards creating the life you want.

For more information on the subject of responsibility, read Henrik Edberg's post 7-timeless-thoughts-on-taking-responsibility-for-your-life.