I’m not sure when my husband began referring to me as a “Nervous Nellie,” but he has been doing so for quite a while now. I mostly ignore him when he does this not allowing him to deflect my anxiousness. That is until my mom got cancer.
Last March, my mom was diagnosed with clear-cell carcinoma, an aggressive form of uterine cancer. She required in home care after undergoing a radical hysterectomy, so I volunteered to stay with her for a few days post-surgery. Before sending her home from the hospital, a nurse spent a few minutes with the two of us demonstrating how to change my mom’s catheter, teaching her how to inject a syringe containing blood thinner into her stomach and giving me a breathing tube she was to breath into every hour to alleviate her coughing.
That evening my sister who works in health care pointed out I had not changed my mother’s catheter properly, my mom was refusing to eat and managing all of her medications was turning out to be a more daunting task than I had anticipated.
To say I was nervous when the visiting nurse called to check on us the following morning was probably an understatement. She asked me a few questions, recommended I purchase a probiotic and offered to stop in. After meeting my mom and talking to her, this nurse turned to me and said, “You are a Nervous Nellie aren’t you?” I couldn’t help but be amused, perhaps my husband has been right all along; a fact he enjoyed immensely when I shared her comment with him when I returned home.
The remainder of the year did not ease my Nervous Nellie tendencies. In August my Mom was in a car-accident on her way to a family get-together to celebrate her cancer-free diagnosis. No one was hurt and the accident had not been her fault, but this party may have been the worst family celebration I have ever attended. As the year progressed we learned my mom now has two hernias resulting from her radiation treatments and will most likely have to wear Depends for the rest of her life; apparently the radiation also damaged her bowel. The good news is my mom continues to remain cancer free.
As I re-read my 2014 goals, I realize other than keeping a gratitude journal (the only resolution I managed to stick to) they were all focused on trying to be more perfect – don’t eat sugar, be organized, suffer for 15 minutes, find my Calcutta – no wonder I am so nervous. Perhaps my 2015 resolutions should be to kayak more, spend more time playing with my dogs, going to movies and reading for pleasure.
Are you a “Nervous Nellie?” If so, what do you do to relax?
I have found that I can do tough things while counting to 10...like giving my self shots or getting them. I dont hold up under stress well :-/ Wishing you a wonderful 2015
ReplyDeleteI think you should just BE. It works for me, and I am an OCD Clean Freak worry wart. If I make and do not accomplish a list, it kills my day, week and or month. No lists of what I should be, do, see, or what ever. I don't even plan the blog, I just let it be..... Glad to hear your mom is Cancer free!!! WaHoo....
ReplyDeleteOh I wish I could just BE. I achieve that state only a couple of times a year - usually outside in nature, at lunch with friends or on vacation. Perhaps that is what I need more of.
DeleteSo glad that your mother is doing well. THAT alone can be a heavy weight. I like your list of new goals and think they will be very healthy for you. Probably noticing and acknowledging that you are a bit NN will be a help. Am not sure that you should try too much to change it, since it is a part of you, but you may be able to change your reactions a bit. Can't really help. If anything, i don't take life seriously enough. Am a list maker, but am good at deciding what must be done today and focusing on those things and not worrying much about anything that is not specifically time sensitive - as defined by someone other than me, that is.
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year, Savvy. Hope it will be a good one for you - and that the job situation will be better.
Webb,
DeleteThank you - wish I could be more like you. I had to be so responsible growing up - taking on the worries of my mom- I too don't think I can change.
So glad that your mom is cancer free at least, she's been through so much! And you, through her.
ReplyDeleteI am quite the Nervous Nellie in a lot of respects, but I don't tend to think of it as such because in my mind, my concerns are valid! If anything, I prioritize my worries with some risk assessment so that I don't sit up worrying every night about every little thing.
She has and still is. I'm doing better this year. I talked myself out of a few things that didn't seem so catastrophic when I put them in perspective - especially crazy co-workers. In the long run they mean nothing.
DeleteSounds like a tough year, but I'm glad to hear your mom is cancer free. Your 2015 resolutions sound great :)
ReplyDeleteThank you.
DeleteSo glad to your mom is cancer free. I am a natural pessimist and worry wart. I have been working hard on trying to adjust my attitude and focus on the positive. It's working slowly but surely. Thanks for sharing with #SmallVictoriesSundayLinkup.
ReplyDeleteYou have had some reasons to become a 'nervous nellie' in your past year but take heart! You have a God that says we are not to worry and find our rest in HIM - See Philippians 4:6. Perhaps that is what you should add to your 2015 resolutions:) Found you on SITS share!
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ReplyDeleteSounds like you had reasons to be a nervous nellie. What a tough year. Glad your mom is okay!
ReplyDeleteYou had every reason in the world to be a Nervous Nellie. That was a serious undertaking and not one that you could take lightly at all.
ReplyDeleteI personally do a lot of deep breaths and sometimes take a brisk walk.
Counting to ten is a great idea and one that I don't do often enough.
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