Sunday, June 20, 2010

Life is about the moments

I don’t have children. This isn’t something I planned; I was never one of those women who adamantly announced to the world I am never having children. I just never got around to having them. My friend Amy (mother of two) recently told me most women are ready to start a family when they wake up and find themselves peeing on a stick. As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve accepted the fact that I’m not a Mom and don’t feel as though something is missing in my life. I do, however, sometimes feel as if my childfree lifestyle should be more exciting and my job more prestigious with all the extra time and money I’m supposed to have.

In saying that, I have this incredible niece Kelsey who was born shortly after my doctor told me if you don’t get pregnant NOW it will be too late. Because of the timing of that conversation, I made a big deal about being Kelsey’s Godmother; I wanted to be an important person in at least one kid’s life. I became her Godmother and it is true I am an important person in her life, but so are all her other aunts and uncles and that is okay.

Kelsey is now eight, smart, athletic and passionately interested in professional sports. She even watches ESPN highlights before school.

My husband’s company has (front row) season tickets to the Milwaukee Brewers. He was given four tickets to last Saturday’s game with instructions to invite a company consultant and his wife. At the last minute they cancelled, so we asked my brother and Kelsey to go in their place. On the way to the game we talked briefly about the Brewers and Kelsey mentioned her favorite player was Corey Hart.

From the minute we walked into Miller Park, Kelsey was mesmerized and so was I as I watched the evening play out through a child’s eyes. It was all so perfect it could have been a dream (accept of course for the Brewers disappointing loss). We ate at TGIF’s getting an outside table facing the ball park. We caught an hour of batting practice, a new experience for me, my brother and Kelsey. We then walked around the park making Kelsey partake in all the kiddie activities including having her picture taken with a Corey Hart cutout until she begged us to go to our seats. I’ll never forget the look on her face as we sat down and directly in front of her stood Corey Hart and Rickie Weeks. We were admiring the ball park, when I spotted Corey Hart to my right signing autographs. I grabbed Kelsey, her baseball and a marker and guided her down the row towards Corey. My brother snapped a photo as she got her autograph. If that wasn’t enough excitement, during the game a foul ball landed near our seats and the first base coach spotting Kelsey threw the ball to my brother. A Brewer’s backpack, a baseball signed by Corey Hart, and a ball from Miller Park previously touched by Prince Fielder; not bad for a night at the ball park.

On the way home the conversation was about baseball, Kelsey asking questions, my husband and brother answering them and quizzing her on what she had just learned. The conversation ended with everyone content in their own thoughts when I realized this is one of those moments. All of the noise in my brain about my unexciting life and boring career had been turned off and had been all evening. I was living in the moment and life was good.


  1. My childless sister always provided my kids with their "big ticket" items for Christmas. I, too, am childless if you define it as giving birth. But while I never felt a need to give birth, eventually I did want a family. So, over the course of the next 20 years, I adopted and reared five daughters. They were all ages 8 or 11 when they came to me. Something you might want to consider. (Or, as my sister would add, NOT!)

  2. I'm with you all, too. Tho childless by choice i thoroughly enjoy my nieces and nephew and four special children who live nearby. Kids need an adult in their lives whom the can trust, and it often needs to be someone who is not their parent. sounds like you are there for Kelsey and all you have to do is put a wee bit of effort into it. You, of course, are reaping as many benefits as she. keep up the good work!

  3. Grace,
    I’ve followed your story closely and have always admired your adoption of the five girls, but at this point in my life I’m not going to adopt. My husband is older than I am and I don’t think its fair to a kid to have parents who are retired when they are in kindergarten. We do want to do something in our lives that makes a difference and are seriously considering pet rescue.

    Thanks again for your support.