Ever since I wrote a blog post about Anne Kreamer’s book Going Gray: What I Learned about Beauty, Sex, Work, Motherhood, Authenticity, and Everything Else That Really Matters, search terms relating to gray hair began appearing in my blog stats. Recently the following showed up in my keyword history:
My husband forbids me from going gray
I wanted to help this person and others like her formulate a response. Who better than Anne Kreamer herself to answer this query? I sent Anne an email asking how to respond. Here is her reply:
There's no question the decision to dye or not dye is timeless and universal. As to your husband, what does he say? Why does he forbid you? Because he thinks you'll look old? He'll look old? You have bad hair? I'd want to know with real detail what his issue is. Then I guess I'd ask him what is it that he fears will happen if you have your natural hair color. Will you not have sex? Is he worried about what others will think?Thank you Anne - I was hoping your response would come from a position of strength. I was not disappointed.
I'm not sure how long you guys have been together nor how old you are, but ask him does he want you to love him if he goes bald? Would he wear a toupee or dye his hair?
Has your spouse or partner ever forbidden you from changing some aspect of your appearance? Or have they demanded you change an aspect of your appearance? How did you respond?
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