One of my coworkers, I will call him Frank, is trapped in his job. He is approaching 70 and forced to continue working
to pay for his wife’s medical expenses. His wife has been bedridden for several
years due to M.S. Frank is loud, abrasive and intimidating. His constant complaining brings his entire department
down. Frank is also at the top of the
list of employees my company hopes to force into retirement with our software
conversion.I read Andre Agassi’s book Open: An Autobiography
earlier this year for my savvy reading challenge. While thinking about my new series
staying relevant over 50 I couldn’t help, but think of Andre Agassi. The surprising thing you learn early in Agassi’s book is he hated playing tennis. From an early age when his dad bought a fire breathing dragon contraption that shot tennis balls out of its mouth he hated tennis. Tennis was his dad’s dream not his own.
Andre thinks a lot about what he can control in tennis and in life:
I tell Perry that I having no choice, having no say about what I do or who I am, makes me crazy. That is why I put more thought, obsessive thought, into the few choices I do have – what I wear, what I eat, who I call my friends. (Pg. 66)
I obsess about the few things I can control and racket tension is one of them. (Pg. 13)
The time has come. I need to take control of my money. I need to take control of my F***ing Life. (Pg. 114)
I find peace in his claim that perfectionism is voluntary. Perfectionism is something I choose, and its ruining me, I can choose something else. (Pg. 189)
And lastly, his life and his tennis (he was losing a lot) didn’t improve until he chose tennis:
I play and keep playing because I choose to play. Even if it’s not your ideal life, you can always choose it. No matter what your life is choosing it is everything. (pg. 359)
Agassi also began using the money he made from tennis to make a difference. In 2001, Agassi opened the Andre Agassi College Preparatory Academy in Las Vegas, a tuition-free charter school for at-risk children in the area. According to Wikipedia, he personally donated $35 million to the school.
Do you feel trapped in your job? According to Forbes, 52.3% of Americans are unhappy with their work.
From time-to-time I too feel trapped in my job. My husband retired last year and ever since we’ve been bombarded with unexpected bills; ranging from helping a family member, to dental and medical expenses to a new vehicle for me. Plans of early retirement continue to get pushed further into the future.
What can I do?
I can change my attitude and choose my job. I can remember why I decided to become an accountant – I thought it would be a reliable and lucrative career. And be grateful that for the most part my career has been both. I can try to stay present at work instead of writing blog posts in my head all day and I can help others.
From time to time I ask Frank how he is managing and he breaks down and tells me not good. That he never lets his wife see his anger or his fear. I listen and suggest he look into signing his wife up for Medicare (she is 68) and a supplemental plan – and don’t judge why he hasn’t done this already or why our HR manager hasn’t suggested this.
I also find it helpful to leave work at a reasonable time, go to the gym and use my vacation days.
Frank has to choose his job too. He has made the decision to continue working until his finances are under control and in the process has become difficult to work with. Management will only put up with a difficult employee so long. If he truly wants to meet his goal he will have to change his attitude.
Do you feel trapped in your job? How do you cope?
Please
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Choosing is so important. It is not easy at all to choose to do something that you don't enjoy and that's when it's time to consider your choices and see if there is other options available to you, what the sacrifices might be to take the other path, and that is when you truly get to choose which way to go. It's much harder to feel trapped when you know you are where you are because that is where you choose to be.
ReplyDeleteGreat advice. Knowing yourself is so important and is the first step of reinvention.
DeleteWhile I am still in school I have already worked at 4 different companies. I do not have the experience to say that I feel trapped as I know my end dates are when I graduate which helps me cope with these low paying and sometimes degrading jobs. Another thing that helps me cope is my end goal which is to be debt free (which I have achieved) and financially stable before graduation. Goals are always important to go over as they are a constant reminder of why you do something.
ReplyDeleteKnowing how to set goals, setting them and working towards accomplishing them are an important part of being happy and successful. Thanks for the comment.
DeleteFrank TRULY needs to look into Medicare. The coverage is very good and the basic cost is $104 per month, which they will happily charge to a credit card. Supplemental coverage varies, but could be as little as $40 per month. It is possible that this will be no more than he is paying thru your company. And, best of all, they are absolutely the easiest plan to deal with when you have questions and the most reliable payer i've had in way-too-many years of handling my own insurance.
ReplyDeleteAs an aside... you might want to consider this suggestion for your company. I worked for a small (20 full time employees) company and we made it a company policy that when a person reached 65 they were no longer eligible to be covered by the company group plan and had to go to Medicare. The company reimbursed the monthly premium (via expense report). As an employee my basic Medicare was "free" due to the reimbursement and i only had to pay for the supplemental ($40). I saved nearly $100 per month (my share of the company deduction for medical) and the company saved more than $200 per month. As the Accounting guru, you might want to suggest this to your company IF you have employee who are approaching 65. It was a win-win. (My company paid 70% of the med. premium, rather than the required 50%.)
You are correct. One of my now retired co-worker switched him and his wife to Medicare and an advantage plan once they turned 65. The coverage were better and the costs cheaper. Like I said before I honestly was not aware that Frank was still on our plan. I haven't been involved in HR since we hired an HR manager about ten years ago.
DeleteI also love your suggestion, but am pretty positive my company wouldn't go for something like that. I am attending a Medicare seminar in a few weeks, so will ask a few questions.
I don't feel trapped in my job, but I definitely have coworkers or do. One is a single father with two kids in college (wife passed away). I think he's middle income enough that they don't qualify for very much financial aid. He speaks a lot about regrets and so on at work. It definitely saddens me, so I can totally understand the "trapped" feeling!
ReplyDeleteWhat a sad story. Perhaps he can reinvent himself once his kids are finished with college.
DeleteAndre Agassi’s book sounds inspiring!
ReplyDeleteIt was.
DeleteThat's so strange that Frank hasn't tried to make things financially better - like signing up for Medicare. But he's in a rough situation. You're right though, the way you approach unpleasant situations really does color the entire experience.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking about him as I've read everyone's comments and I've decided that Frank is the type of person who lets things happen to him. Maybe this is a result of not being able to stop his wife's disease or he is too taxed to do anything but the basics. It is really sad and his name was brought up again this week as someone who will not make it though the conversion.
DeleteOh, man, poor Frank. I don't have to put up with him, but I can't help but feel bad for him. A life of work and then going home to the cruelty of MS, caring likely without relief for the person he was supposed to be enjoying these years with as the disease eats her away. I get the whole attitude thing, truly. But I don't know how well I'd hold up in that situation.
ReplyDeleteI agree. Frank's first and probably only goal is to give his wife the best life possible. He has also told me how much she loved the outdoors. And how he still took her fishing and hiking in her wheel chair as long as she could manage. It is a very sad story. He probably needs a little counseling, but is also a very stubborn man who thinks his needs don't matter.
DeleteFrank reminds me of someone I used to work with. He was a good man but he had mentally retired years ago. His wife was very very sick and they didn't have money to pay the medical bills. She was also younger than him and didn't qualify for medicare. Though I hated working with him from a standpoint of a fellow employee his determination to continue working pushing his own health to make sure his wife was as comfortable as possible really impressed me.
ReplyDeleteThat being said there was other options he could have taken, maybe should have taken. I don't know his whole situation nor Franks, but I know we all have control of our lives if we choose it.
Great comment. I think this is a somewhat new problem in that retirees used to have retirement health benefits that covered their spouse. When a spouse is younger she (usually it is a she) is not eligible for reduced supplemental plans and is stuck in the marketplace. I have more than one co-worker who has to work to cover his wife's insurance. I plan on writing an entire post on this in the near future.
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