Is it me or is it the Crate & Barrel Table Runner?

I will be the first to admit my interior decorating/housekeeping skills are not exactly on par with Martha Stewarts, but I can’t help wondering if this latest episode is entirely the result of my inadequacy. Last year, I received a gift of hand painted candle holders and have been searching for a table decoration to display them with ever since. A few weeks ago, I found this table runner at Crate & Barrel. The flowered pattern is a perfect match.

After removing the runner from its tightly wrapped plastic packaging, I noticed it was deeply creased. The label indicated the runner was made of cotton; its embroidery made of rayon, so I set my iron on low and began ironing. It wasn’t long before little iron marks started appearing in addition to the creases. Thinking I was ruining my new table runner, I searched the internet for: “How to iron rayon"

On the purse blog I found:

Never iron rayon right side out without a pressing cloth to protect it. Rayon will gain a shine to it if you iron it directly. Either iron the inside of the garment or use a pressing cloth on the outside.

I then ironed the runner from its back side and placed a cloth on its right side while ironing the top. After about twenty minutes the creases remained as well as the little iron marks, only now the runner also refused to lay flat. I quit. Even my husband thought it looked worse than before I had started.

I complained to my more domestic friends, asking if I should take the runner to the dry cleaners. They recommended I steam it or better yet take it back to Crate and Barrel and have them steam it.

Since I don’t own a steamer, I called the store where I had purchased the runner explaining the crease problem. The sales associate’s first comment was all of our table runners are packaged like that (I hadn’t asked; apparently she has had this complaint before). She suggested I wash it then iron it. When I politely asked if by chance the store could steam it for me she responded with:

"Well, you can’t come in today we are too busy (I hadn't intended on going in today). We need to focus on our in-store customers."

And

“If you give us your phone number we'll call you when it is a good time."

Hello. Aren’t I a customer? Although, I am seriously considering never being one again. Also, I work full time and can’t exactly run to the mall when it is convenient for them. And finally, was it really necessary to package the table runner tightly in fancy plastic packaging (which I’m sure cost me at least an extra five bucks). I can't imagine too many customers appreciating the extra work.

If you liked this post you may also like:

You need your customers more than they need you

Just wondering why

Happens Every Day: An All-Too-True Story

As part of my 2009 goal “Getting my Ducks in a Row,” I’ve been reading quite a few memoirs in search of inspiration to continue moving forward with those baby steps. In doing so, I’ve come to the conclusion Sarah Statz Cords had a valid point when she wrote on her blog Citizen Reader:

For a long time, I wasn't up to reading memoirs. They're almost like fiction for me in that there's so many of them available; I'm bound not to like the majority of them.

I was looking forward to Isabel Gillies book Happens Every Day: An All-Too-True Story; not all change or reinvention is the result of our own choice i.e. divorce, job loss, or loss of a loved one. In Gillies case, her life is turned upside down after her husband develops a crush on a fellow teacher and announces he is done with their marriage.

I first heard of this book on Gretchen Rubin’s blog The Happiness Project when she interviewed the author, Isabel Gillies. Isabel has done some soul searching on happiness and gave an inspiring somewhat introspective interview. I love this line:

"I think what one may want to achieve is not so much happiness but peace?"

The problem with the book is what the title states, "Happens Every Day" there just isn’t anything new here; Isabel meets boy, gets married, has two kids, relocates for his career, he has an affair, they break up. The story would make a great "Lifetime" movie complete with the requisite box of Kleenex.

I was hoping for more introspection from Gillies including what inspired her to move on after her marriage ended and the steps she took to rebuild her life. Unfortunately, she had given the major points of her introspection in the interview she gave Gretchen which I had previously read.

She did, however, offer two good pieces of advice for couples splitting up:

1. The first step for moving on is to get a really good lawyer.

2. My lawyer from Cleveland gave me a good piece of advice. He said we should come up with a separation agreement fast. If you are close to the marriage you remember what the good parts felt like. In the beginning you both will want to treat each other well, or at least fairly. The farther you get from the marriage, the more lawyers involved, the more he turns into an asshole he never really was before and she turns into an incredible bitch she wasn’t before. Don’t let lawyers talk for you because everyone will lose. Everyone losses anyway in a divorce. Both sides always have to give a little bit more than they want and lose a little bit more than they want. There are no winners.

Enough Said.

Taking personal responsibility for your life

At a recent seminar, one of the speakers made a casual comment linking Generation Y to the culture of irresponsibility. I have never been one to put much credence in generational generalizations or a one-size-fits-all approach.

As I look back on my early twenties, I wouldn’t describe myself as responsible. I was serious about my job and worked hard, but was more about having fun and just letting things happen than being responsible. I knew what I was supposed to do; live below my means, stop using my resources (money, time and energy) trying to impress people, and to end relationships that were bad for me or weren't working, but I didn't take the necessary steps to do so.

I remember the day I had a revelation similar to the one Trent had here on September 23, 2005. I was 28; had finally broken up with my boyfriend of seven years, a bad relationship I had allowed to continue way too long, was working full time and taking accounting courses at night. On this particular day, I was late for class and frantically searching for a parking place. Frustrated and angry I began blaming my parents and ex-boyfriend for the sorry state of my life. Suddenly, I realized none of them were magically going to appear and help me find a parking space. Nor, were they going to pay off my credit card debt, study for my exams or help me achieve any of my other goals. It was up to me. I realized at that moment I needed to take care of myself and accept responsibility for my own actions, decisions and goals. From that day forward, I began making the sacrifices necessary to achieve my goals. I used vacation time to study for exams. I stopped frivolous shopping and dining out; finally living below my means. Eventually, I finished my accounting courses and passed the CPA exam. I got control of my finances, paid off my car loan and credit card debt. I even put some money aside in case of an emergency.

Some additional great advice on becoming accountable comes from Danielle LaPorte's blog White Hot Truth. In her post, for rage babes flakes and tyrants get over it she writes:

Decide to just get over it. Let it be that simple. For most of us who had normally dysfunctional upbringings (I’m not talking about suffering exceptional atrocities or repetitive abuses,) our past is no excuse to continue being a flake, a tyrant, obnoxiously needy, or a rage-babe. Look, we’re all terrific for going to therapy, for having past life insights, and reading Wayne Dyer. Yeah for the New Age. Really. But knowing why you’re so screwed up is only half the journey. Choose to let it be done.

And from her comments:
I don't remember who said it but it's true that we need to spend only 10% of our time, thoughts, and energy talking about the problem and the other 90% working on a solution, a strategy, a plan.

Another commenter writes:
A friend of mine was whining to our small meet-for-coffee gathering about her life being screwed up because her parents, yada, yada, yada. One of the guys looked at her and said: "After 35, everybody needs a new excuse." It stopped her cold.

"After 35, everybody needs a new excuse." ~ I love that. I also think there should be an expiration date on blaming your ex-husband, boyfriend or even your current husband for your life’s circumstances. I was recently at a party where a woman was blaming her ex-husband for her unhappy life. She listed such undesirable factors as he liked dogs while she liked cats. She spoke with such venom and anger I had to ask how long it had been since she divorced. Her reply: Ten years ago.

I hate to see loved ones struggle and make the same mistakes I did, but sometimes failure is necessary before growth, and advice falls on deaf ears. Deciding to take responsibility for your life doesn’t seem to occur at any one particular age, but is a necessary step towards creating the life you want.

For more information on the subject of responsibility, read Henrik Edberg's post 7-timeless-thoughts-on-taking-responsibility-for-your-life.

MSO employees donate $1,000,000 to orchestra

The following announcement was made prior to a recent MSO performance:

"The Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra, currently in its 50th season, plans on being around for at least another 50 years despite the current economic slow down. How is this possible? It is because the MSO’s musicians and staff employees recently made a $1,000,000 donation to the preservation of the MSO."

Actually this “donation” is really a pay cut the musicians agreed to as part of their new contract which goes into effect in August. The 9% salary reduction and reduced pension fund contributions along with the staff cuts removes $960,000 from the 2009-'10 budget.

After hearing this, I’ve been thinking more about my own company’s salary and expense reductions. Like the MSO, my company which has been in business since 1944, has had to go into survival mode. The expense cuts were absolutely necessary to save 115 jobs plus attempt to guarantee our company will also be around for at least another 50 years.

The economy continues to suck for workers!

A reader left a comment on my blog post "A One Word Explanation" offering their own word to describe the economy: “sucks!” I must say after a particularly dismal couple of months, I have to agree the economy does suck, especially for workers. Just about everyone I know myself included has been affected by this recession:

-Heard at my niece’s college graduation party: only 25% of college graduates have job offers (actually 25% is too high, Alison Green of Ask a Manager linked to this article the other day, showing that only 19% of recent grads have found work so far). One partygoer, a grad majoring in computer engineering, had a job offer only to have it rescinded when the company announced it was to be sold. Another grad, an accounting major, had the start date for her new job at an accounting firm postponed from September 1st to January 1st of next year.

- Neighbors and friends have lost their jobs. Amidst struggles to make ends meet, at least one of the several homes in my neighborhood that have gone up for sale is due to a job loss.

- The company I work for had a horrific April. Rumor has it our bank threatened not to renew our line of credit unless major expense cutting took place. Effective June 1st, five employees were laid-off, all exempt employees including myself received an 8% salary reduction, hours were reduced for most non-exempt employees, employee's share of health insurance premiums were increased along with deductibles and out of pocket expenses and the 401(k) company match was suspended. My company anticipates these cuts will remain in effect for at least one year.

- The same week my company announced cutbacks, my husband received a notice from his employer that his 401(k) company match would be suspended effective June 1st.

-Feeling an 8% salary reduction was a little steep; I decided to take action and look for a new job. I spent close to two hours applying for one job opening I found on career builder. I was positive I was a perfect fit. Unfortunately, I received a rejection notice via email first thing the next morning. This was the fastest job rejection I have ever received and the first rejection notice I’ve received via email.

-A friend who owns his own business has also been forced to reduce his employee's wages. He currently has two job openings, but refuses to pay candidates more than what his loyal employees make. He tells potential candidates he can only pay them what the market will bear.

According to Sudeep Reddy in her article in the Wall Street Journal, "A turnaround in the overall economy won't translate into a full turnaround for workers. Most forecasters expect employers to slash more jobs than they're adding at least through the end of the year. The huge job losses may end, but they won't turn into meaningful job gains until sometime in 2010."

How are employees coping? This is what I'm hearing from my co-workers around the water cooler:

I’m not going to make any major purchases I may regret later. There are fears the cuts our company made were not deep enough and additional cuts will be made in the future.

I’m okay with doing Susie’s job in addition to my own because I’m happy to still have a job, but I do plan on asking for a new promotional title that incorporates my new responsibilities. A promotion will look good on my resume.

My boss admits the company decided on salary reductions for exempt employees instead of time-off without pay to prevent employees from using the additional time off to look for a new job. Most employees are at least talking about looking for a new job.

While filling out on-line applications one employee realized she needs Microsoft Access experience. She’s planning on taking a class and incorporating what she learns into her current job.

We need to beef up our networking. The latest networking tool everyone us getting involved with is LinkedIn. Let's check it out on our lunch hour.

It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it's a depression when you lose yours." ~Harry S. Truman

Early Retiree Laments, “Was it all worth it.”

The last time I saw Ron and Cindy, they were both miserable. Both had been working long hours in jobs they could barely tolerate. Ron’s company had undergone a complete management overhaul. He was having difficulty adapting to his company's new culture and his ever increasing job demands. He had gained weight and was suffering from depression. Cindy, who was a special needs teacher, had just finished the most difficult year of her 32-year teaching career. After much soul searching and a little financial planning, they both decided to retire early at the age of 56. That was two years ago.

Here are their thoughts this past weekend on early retirement:

Ron looks fantastic; he has lost weight, is more relaxed and is happier in retirement than he has been in years. He spends his time reading, relaxing and puttering around the house. His current project is painting the outdoor shutters. He feels early retirement is the best thing he ever did.

Cindy is another story; she can't help but wonder if it's all been worth it. First, there was the process of finding a new job. After ending her teaching career, Cindy who is a very social person, decided she still wanted to work, but in a less stressful, part-time capacity. She found a job working as a cashier for the local pharmacy. She soon realized working with the public can be trying. Also, mastering the pharmacy’s cash register was not an easy task. Despite working fewer hours, she still finds herself working with difficult people and dealing with work-place politics, only now she makes less money and has no benefits. She thinks she may have been better off staying where she was at. “I knew that job like the back of my hand.” She has accepted a part-time teaching job at her old school for the summer.

Then there was the market turn-down last fall. Their portfolio lost 50% of its value. To continue to make ends meet, they had to adjust their budget by curtailing eating out and canceling all travel plans. They both acknowledge if they hadn’t retired before the downturn they would probably both still be working.

What is the moral of this story? I have dreamed of retiring early for years, actually since the late 90’s when my 401(k) was earning double digit returns. This fantasy usually includes a little part-time job, maybe in retail, just to get out of the house. After talking to Cindy, I realize work is just that – work. If I can’t afford to or don’t want to retire completely, I may be better off staying where I’m at until I can.

A second mammogram required; questions answered

Pleased to have this task completed in less than 15 minutes after arrival; I was feeling pretty cheeky as I left the clinic this year after my annual mammogram. Unfortunately, I would receive a call later that day informing me additional images were needed. I would undergo a second mammogram and ultimately a biopsy. To my relief, I ended up having a benign breast calcification, not cancer. As I look back on this experience, which was pretty surreal, I realize I had quite a few questions throughout the process. I will now attempt to answer those questions with the intention of helping others in a similar situation.

How common is it to be called back for a second image?
About one in ten mammogram screenings result in a patient being called back for further testing. Most likely this call back is not due to a bad image, but because the radiologist saw something that looked suspicious and wants a better view. The second screening is a magnification or a compression view where they zone in on a specific area or an ultrasound that will give information like is it a solid area or just a more dense area of tissue or if it's a cyst.

What was seen on my second diagnostic image?
The radiologist saw a calcification on my left breast that had not been present on prior images.

What are breast calcifications?
They are deposits of calcium in some areas of the breast tissue that show up as white spots on a mammogram. They cannot be felt, and are only detected on a breast mammogram. They are very common and in most cases harmless.

There are two types:
Macro-calcifications are usually larger, fewer in number, widely dispersed, and round. They are harmless and need no treatment or monitoring.

Micro-calcifications are specks of calcium that may be found in an area of rapidly dividing cells. When many are seen in a cluster, they may indicate a small cancer. About half the cancers detected appear as these clusters.

What causes breast calcifications?
Calcium can be deposited in breast tissue for a variety of reasons, many of which are not related to cancer. Some benign causes of breast calcifications include inflammation from a breast infection, and injury or trauma to the breast. Calcium deposits may also be included in a benign breast cyst or a benign breast growth like a fibroadenoma. Taking calcium pills does not cause them. Also, there is no known link between calcium intake in diet and the formation of breast calcifications. Nor has a correlation been found between post-menopausal hormone replacement therapy and the development of breast calcifications. Calcifications in breast tissue occur most commonly as a natural process of aging. As we age, there is some degeneration of tissues and this can cause calcifications. Hence most women develop calcifications as they grow older. The cause which worries women the most is of course cancer. But cancer as a cause of breast calcification is quite uncommon compared to the high proportion of calcifications seen due to other causes. Cancer is suspected only in some specific patterns of calcification.

Why a biopsy?
The way these calcifications are positioned within the breast and their number and shape can provide the radiologist with an idea of whether these should be left alone or further examined for invasive or preinvasive disease.

My radiologist explained there are three possible determinations he makes based on the shape of the calcification:
1. A mass that is star-shaped or irregular is serious.
2. A round or smooth-edged mass is more likely to be a fluid-filled cyst and not serious.
3. Calcifications that are hard-to-tell he deems indeterminate. Of course, mine was indeterminate.

There are two approaches to dealing with indeterminate calcifications:

A wait and see approach ~ I would return in six months for a follow-up mammogram to see if the calcifications have changed - a sign that a cancer could be growing.

Perform a biopsy ~ This is the only way to be absolutely certain the calcification is benign. Whether or not to do a biopsy depends on the radiologist's level of suspicion. When suspicious micro-calcifications appear on a mammogram, but no lump is felt, a needle localization biopsy is recommended, so that breast tissue can be removed and examined under a microscope by a pathologist. Some radiologists recommend the aggressive approach when dealing with indeterminate calcifications, recommending a needle-localization biopsy to see whether malignancy is present.

Because the deposit had not been present on prior mammograms along with the indeterminate positioning of the calcifications my radiologist strongly recommended a biopsy.

What actually takes place during the biopsy which is called a stereotactic core needle biopsy?
The radiologist removes small slivers of tissue containing the “suspicious” calcifications through a thin, hollow needle. This procedure is done using a special table and computer guidance device. A stereotactic core needle biopsy requires only local anesthesia (the patient is awake and alert) and the tissue can be sent to the laboratory for analysis without surgery.

My biopsy went well; the radiologist was able to remove the entire mass of calcifications. Afterward, he indicated he would be surprised if the biopsy results did not come back benign. Also, he was pleased to have been able to remove the entire deposit.

What percentages of biopsies are benign?
Around 85%. Calcifications themselves are not cancer but may be present in the midst of a cancer. Clustered small calcifications alone are associated with about a 25 percent risk of cancer.

Final thoughts on the ordeal:
~I didn’t get rattled, but I was anxious. To help ease the anxiety, I rescheduled both appointments to earlier dates as cancelled appointments became available. If something was seriously wrong I wanted to know as soon as possible.

~ I asked as many questions as I could of family and friends who had undergone the same procedure to give myself some idea of what to expect.

~ My sister, who is a radiologic technologist, gave me the following advice which did wonders to reassure me everything was going to be fine even if the calcs were malignant:
Calcium deposits also called micro-calcifications can be a very early sign of a cancer called ductal carcinoma in situ. If this is the case, would be easily treatable since it is so early.

~ Now that the bills are coming in (this procedure cost close to $5,000, of which my insurance company will pay 90% after I meet my deductible), I can't help wonder if I should have gone with the wait-and-see approach. My sister strongly disagrees with this statement insisting I did the right thing following the radiologist's recommendation.

~ You can’t take aspirin seven days prior to the biopsy and for three days following, but you can take Tylenol. I wasn't informed of the Tylenol option until after I developed an incredible migraine and pleaded with my breast care coordinator to allow me to take some type of pain reliever.

~What do you wear to a biopsy?
As I prepared for my biopsy, I couldn’t help think what does one wear to a biopsy; do you go for style or cheering up? I ended up going with worn and comfortable. I thought this was kind of weird thing to think about until I read in his book Chasing Daylight;Eugene O’Kelly wore golf clothes to his radiation appointments to get in a good mood as if he were going to play a round.

~During the procedure, the breast care coordinator stood next to me talking me through the procedure. I appreciated this diversion.

~The biopsy itself hurt. My back and neck got stiff. Also, the recovery wasn’t pleasant for the first couple of days. I had to ice the area every four hours and could lift nothing heavier than a jug of milk. Even moderate activity produced bleeding. Plus, I am still black and blue and the procedure was three weeks ago.

~Despite all of the favorable assurances I received, it was an incredible relief to know for sure it wasn't cancer.

~ And lastly, if you need to let a patient know their lab results are going to take longer than anticipated do not start the conversation with: “I HAVE BAD NEWS.”

You need your customers more than they need you

While vacationing in St. John, my husband and I had the pleasure of meeting Richard Meyer, the proprietor for "The Lime Inn". We discussed the economy and inquired how the recession had affected his restaurant. Without hesitation he replied, “Business has been slow.”

Vacationers are traveling to St John, especially now that it is spring, but they are spending all of their time at the beach. Retail sales, restaurant activity and chartered excursions are suffering. I understood spending your entire vacation at the beach, but couldn’t comprehend why tourists were not eating at the restaurants. Groceries on the island are quite expensive (about double what I pay in Milwaukee); since food is expensive anyway, why go to all the extra trouble of shopping, cooking and cleaning up?

Upon further investigation, we discovered travelers are not buying food on the island; they are bringing it with them. They pack steaks, chicken, and sandwich fixings all in an ice chest then check it as one of their checked bags.

A couple of days later, we visited Richard's restaurant, The Lime Inn, which surprisingly was filled to capacity. The group ahead of us was told there would be an hour wait ‘til they could be seated. They left. Richard spotted us, apologized for the lack of tables then offered to have us sit at the server bar or the customer bar saying, "I need you more than you need me." We choose the server bar. This ended up being one of our favorite vacation experiences. Katy, the bartender, not only served us our food, but acted as a quasi tour guide recommending vacation hotspots and giving us insight into what it’s like living in St. John. Plus, the food was excellent. I highly recommend the Shay’s seafood sausage appetizer.

With discount chains such as Wal-Mart, Costco, and McDonalds pushing out businesses in every major city and small town, it is important in a down economy to distinguish your business through customer service. Take note of Richard’s sage observation "I need your more than they need me.”

"How to rob a bank"

Willie Porter has the banking crisis figured out. Click Here. Go to media player. Listen to song 01.

Enough said.

Tips on maintaining a stress free life

Since returning from vacation, I’ve been contemplating what I can do to minimize the stress in my life on a day-to-day basis. I came up with the following list of items I currently try to employ:

1. Get enough sleep; I need at least 7 hours of solid sleep to feel rested, not edgy the next day

2. Live below my means; I sleep better when I’m not worried about paying the bills

3. Exercise – I try to workout at least 3 times a week; exercise helps me sleep better

4. Spend at least a half hour each night unwinding with a good book (even DH has noticed I get cranky when I don’t have a good book to read)

5. Take a sick day when I’m sick – I’m not very good at this one

6. Cut back on caffeine; drink more water – I used to drink coffee in the morning, soda in the afternoon. Now I skip the soda and drink water, I’ve noticed I’m not nearly as jittery

7. Cook on the weekends – eat the leftovers during the week. I rarely take the time to cook during the week; if I don’t have something already made I usually end up eating junk food.

8. Keep a couple of safety pins in my purse in case of a wardrobe malfunction

9. Don’t drink coffee while driving unless I want to wear the coffee all day

10. To minimize scheduling conflicts use only one calendar

11. If a home repair job is out of my or DH’s area of expertise (plumbing comes to mind) hire a professional

12. Think thru an invitation before saying yes; especially events that occur during the work day; for me it’s stressful getting out of work on time, finding the event (directions are not my forte), and searching for a parking spot

13. I stopped using computerized photo software and bought a photo reader

14. Use mapquest; if going to a job interview, drive by the interview site the night before

15. Admit mistakes right away; I heard this one at a seminar years ago. I have since found it is much better to admit a mistake right away rather than worrying about it for days. I’ve also found many times what I think is a huge deal is either not the big deal I thought it was or is something that can easily be fixed.

I also came up with three things I could or should do in the future:

1. Take a computer trouble shooting class. Nothing gets my blood boiling faster, that when something goes wrong with my computer.

2. Cut back on sugar

3. Buy a GPS system (I really am terrible with directions)

What are your tips for maintaining a stress free life?

A one word explanation

DH posed the following question to our financial planner?

If you could explain what has happened to the economic and financial markets over the past 6 months in one word, what would that word be?

His answer:

Recalibration

Definition from Dictionary.com:

Main Entry: recalibrate
Part of Speech: v
Definition: to correct a measuring process by checking or adjusting again in comparison with a standard
Example: The archaeologist recalibrated radiocarbon dates to adjust them to calendar years, using results gained from dendrochronology

Note: He did not choose the word "crisis", even though what occurred is, or at least was, a crisis. He feels the media overuse the word; calling everything a crisis, so he avoids using it.

The Stress-Free Zone

Last week, while vacationing on the Caribbean island of St. John, I experienced what may have been the most relaxing day of my life; I guess you could say I was in a stress-free zone. What factors contributed to this state of bliss?

- The mental clarity achieved hiking to the beach

- The meditating lull of the sea

- The beauty of the blue sky

- Nothing more taxing to do than watch the palms of the palm trees sway in the wind

- The poetry of the novel I was reading; The Blind Assassinwhich is Margaret Atwood at her best

- The ability to finally shut off the nagging voice that’s constantly reminding me of all the things I need to do

As my vacation came to a close, I couldn’t help but contemplate why it took ‘til day five of my vacation to achieve this stress-free zone. Here are a few things I could have done differently to help my vacation get off on a stress free note:

- Don’t over-promise. We were scheduled to spend our first night of travel in Chicago. I had promised my husband I'd leave work early, so we could get an early start, knowing my boss always keeps me ‘til the last possible minute the day before I leave for vacation. Sure enough, I was given a last minute project that kept me working much later than anticipated. This set the tone for an impatient husband, a hurried exit and several forgotten last minute items.

- Don't multi-task. The night before our vacation, I packed my bags while talking on the phone. Can you see what's coming – yes, more forgotten items. I recently read that multitasking never works. I think this is a true statement; at least it never seems to work for me.

- Take advantage of technology. Before leaving, I had decided not to add cell phone coverage for the Virgin Islands to my cell phone plan; I was unhappy with the projected extra fees and roaming charges. This was a mistake. Pay phones don't really exist anymore and if they do they are in disrepair. This caused all sorts of complications with our car rental company, our villa caretaker and our airline. We returned home to find messages from all parties on our home phone providing valuable information about flight changes and meeting arrangements. I'm sure the parties above assumed they were leaving messages on our cell phone. Also, it would have been easier to book excursions and make restaurant reservations with a cell phone rather than having to rush back to our villa for confirmation messages.

- Simplify your routine. After a full day of travel, arrange for an easy meal the night of arrival; either eat in or go to a restaurant within walking distance. Also, on what was the most relaxing day of my life we had planned a late afternoon hike, but not wanting to leave the beach decided to forego it. We had finally learned if we wanted to truly relax we had to simplify our routine.

- Be more organized. Make a list of items that need to be packed and then actually use the list. Once home, add any forgotten or neglected items to the list. Save the list to use when packing for the next vacation.

- Vacation at a familiar destination. I never used to understand why someone would want to vacation at the same place every year. Now I get it. It took us two full days to become acclimated with St. John. If you are truly looking for relaxation, familiarity is a key factor. Also, we discovered many ways we could cut costs if we were to return to St. John. If you travel to the same destination each year, you are more likely to pack the right items and are less likely to encounter unforeseen surprises.

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Blog Browsing

Last week, I was out of town on a much needed vacation and have not yet gotten back to my usual routine, in the meantime I'd like to spotlight a couple of blogs I enjoy browsing:

Journey Mama - Rae is a mama who is definitely on a journey. She recently moved from northern California to India with her family; her superstar husband and their four children ranging in ages from not yet one to six years old. She is a beautiful writer who posts honestly about her life. Plus, she includes amazing photos of her friends and family and an occasional video or two.

Two Kitties - This is the sort of blog I envisioned creating when I started my first blog, A Little Bit of Culture, but soon felt I wasn’t up to the task. Heidi, who is an artist, is much more qualified. Her blog's eclectic posts are guaranteed to fulfill your daily culture fix.

Retired Syd- I became fascinated with this blog after realizing how much Sydney and I have in common; both of us work/worked as accountants, neither of us are/were totally enamored with this profession (I think this has to do with the long hours and the stress), both of us are in our forties, and both of us blog as a hobby. I have always dreamed of retiring early, Sydney actually did (a year ago at age 44). Reading Sydney's blog gives me a glimpse into what life would be like in early retirement. I can dream can’t I!!!

Does Happiness have a Set Point?

Recently on Gretchen Rubin's blog, "The Happiness Project", Gretchen interviewed the ever brazen Penelope Trunk about happiness. Penelope, in her words, is "pissy" about happiness research. She doesn’t think the discussion “Am I Happy” is productive or that there is a lot of happiness in life only a lot of hopefulness. Her happiness level in life doesn’t particularly change depending on where she is in life. She has a sort of setpoint. She veers from it in the same way she veers from her regular weight the day after Thanksgiving -- She always goes back to that setpoint.

In a later post, Gretchen attempts to debunk the myth Nothing Changes a Person's Happiness Level Much. Gretchen writes:

Major life events can have strong, lasting effects on people’s happiness. For example, although people adapt quickly to marriage, it takes much longer for widows to adapt to widowhood. Losing a job, getting divorced—these kinds of events make a significant lasting impact on happiness. Adaptation varies considerably among people. Some get over changes quickly, while others take much longer to adapt, if they ever do.

This is the way I’ve come to think about this question: People are born with a natural range of temperament, but circumstances, actions, and thoughts can push people up to the top of their range or down to the bottom of their range.

I find myself agreeing so completely with Alex Lickerman at Happiness in this world's comment; I am including it in its entirety:

I've found the level of happiness I enjoy seems to fluctuate from moment-to-moment depending on how resistant I am to the vagaries of external forces pressing on my life-condition. When good things happen I tend to feel good for a while and when bad things happen I tend to feel bad for a while. But I've become convinced that if we work to increase our capacity to experience happiness, like exercising a muscle it will grow stronger, and the set point around which our happiness fluctuates will inevitably rise. But it really does seem to require diligent, consistent effort and the pursuit of a path that actually works. It also seems to me there are far more bad ways to pursue happiness than good ways.

Summary:
I am not sure if happiness has a set point, but I do know when events in my life take a turn for the worst, I’ve learned the “process of pushing myself” out of my comfort zone to search out what makes me happier always seems to help; this is the same process I’m using in my current project "Getting My Ducks in a Row". Another technique I’ve employed with success is writing entries in my gratitude journal.

Also, I don't place much credence on personal assessments such as the Authentic Happiness Inventory Questionnaire. This questionnaire requires you to answer questions by picking one statement in each group that best describes the way you have been feeling. I think these types of questionnaires are easily skewed based on how you subconsciously feel the outcome should be.

If you'd like to read more on the subject of happiness; my favorite book on the subject is Tal Ben-Shahar's Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment.

Passion at Work

Unlike my brother, who has known since junior high school he wanted to be an architect; I never had a clear plan as to what I wanted to do when I grew up. I am now 46 and I still don’t know. I love asking recent high school grads what their career plans are. This is not because I am nosy, I’m looking for ideas.

Then there is my DH who never had a passion for a particular career, but knew himself well enough to make career decisions based on his proficiencies. By knowing his strengths and limitations, he knew when to take the promotion and when to say no thanks; I’ll stay where I’m at. I believe this has resulted in him being happier with his work in the long run.

As part of "Getting my Ducks in a Row," I read Lawler Kang’s Passion at Work: How to Find Work You Love and Live the Time of Your Life.It was recommended by a friend who found the exercises helpful in sorting out her own career issues. In the past, I’ve been skeptical of authors who claimed their book would help you discover things such as your work passion, but at this point in my life I what do I have to lose.

The book is divided into 5 P’s:
Passion – What do you want your tombstone to say?
Proficiencies- What can the whole and impassioned you be the best at.
Priorities – Matrix this.
The Plan
Prove – How do you fund your plan?

I read most of the book and made it through step three on the exercises (I was unable to complete step 4- the plan, since I didn't come up with a passion). Despite not discovering my life passion, I did learn some useful insights about myself from the exercises. In comparing the results from step one and step two, I was able to see clear patterns. I enjoy challenging projects; going back to school, becoming a CPA, analyzing financial data, even writing this blog. Perhaps, that is what I need, another challenging project. Something I am solely responsible for.

In reading this book, I may not have discovered my life passion, but I did come away with a better understanding of myself. I rate the book 3.5/5.

My career as a Tax Accountant and Weekend Assignment #256

Since I am one of the members of the ABA (Association of Blogging Accountants) which Florinda recently made up, I decided to participate in Karen’s weekend assignment #256.

Weekend Assignment #256:
Tax time for individuals in this country starts in late January when the tax forms arrive, and runs through April 15th or so when the tax return is due. Do you file your taxes as soon as possible, at the last minute, or somewhere in between? Is there a particular reason for this?

Before I start I am going to give a little background on my career as a tax accountant.

Corporate Tax Accountant –
In the early 90’s, I worked full-time as an accountant for a small engineering firm while taking accounting courses at the local university in the evenings. The semester I was enrolled in Corporate Income Tax my boss came up with the brilliant idea he could recoup his investment in my education (he was paying half my tuition) if I prepared our company’s corporate income tax return; thus saving the company money on accounting fees. Our outside accounting firm would still review and sign the return. The first year, I propped up my accounting text book next to my computer to use as a reference and created the schedules for the return in excel. It was a lot of work and even though I felt like a fish out of water, the schedules balanced and life was good. The second year, I again prepared the schedules in this manner and again felt I was unqualified to do so, but it went okay. The third year, which was an incredibly stressful time in my life; I was taking the Becker CPA review course in preparation for the exam, I was unable to get those darned schedules to balance. Finally one of the accountants from the accounting firm in attempt to help my out me said, “You know Savvy, why don’t you just let us finish them, we enter the data from your financials into our tax prep software anyway and the returns including the schedules are completed in about 15 minutes.” I couldn’t believe it; after all that work they didn't need or even use my schedules; they were just placating my boss. After this experience, I vowed to never again work with corporate income tax.

Personal Income Tax Accountant -
After I passed the CPA exam, a family member asked if I’d prepare their income tax returns. Because of my inexperience (the only returns I had ever prepared other than in the classroom were my own); I decided to help them out for a nominal fee. I used TurboTax; the return was simple and went well. The second year, I went with TaxCutbecause it was cheaper. From the get go this return didn’t go well. First, it was more complicated; they had purchased mutual funds in their kids names which had incurred huge capital gains that year plus one of them had worked as a consultant on the side (of course they didn't track their mileage or save their business expense receipts). The extra income disallowed credits they were used to receiving, in an attempt to minimize their taxes I played around with separate returns for their kids and ended up losing half their data in TaxCut and had to reenter it. Then while printing the returns my old ink jet printer which literally printed the forms all afternoon ran out of ink. Concluding, I was upside down in both time and money on this return I advised the couple to consult a professional tax preparer in the future thus ending my career as a personal income tax accountant.

My current exposure to personal income tax-
In my current position, working as a Finance Manager in industry; the only exposure I have to income tax is the "Income Tax Update" I take each year as part of my continuing education. This doesn't stop me from being asked personal income tax questions on a regular basis. I used to attempt to look up answers to these questions, but now my standard line is I don’t work with tax, I work in private industry. If I can answer their question I do so, but usually I cannot.

Now for the assignment:
When do you file your return?
I work a lot of hours each year in January and early February; afterwards I give myself a couple of weeks to regroup before filing our taxes. This year I filed both our Federal and State returns yesterday. We are getting a small refund back on both, which is typical.

Who actually does your taxes, and with what software or other resources, if any?
I always prepare our taxes and do so manually. As I mentioned above, I have experience with both TurboTax and TaxCut, for me it is just easier and cheaper to file manually. It took me an hour and twenty minutes to complete both returns. I did use the amt calculator on the irs.gov web site to make sure I didn’t owe AMT. Wisconsin is offering free electronic tax filing this year, but I didn't take advantage of it. Adobe Reader 9.0 was required which I don't have. Also, I needed to include my federal income tax return in an electronic format which I also didn’t have. They do offer a couple of options for submitting the form electronically, but I decided to keep it simple and just file manually.

Getting my Ducks in a Row

Ever since I heard Jane Pauley's presentation on “Practical Inspiration”, I can’t stop thinking I need to “Get my ducks in a Row” or at least break out of my comfort zone.

In the January 2009 issue of Oprah Magazine, Dr. Phil states the term comfort zone is used inaccurately. He says:

A comfort zone is actually a stagnation zone. You’re stuck because you’re afraid to take a risk. People often tell me the scariest risk is admitting that what they have isn’t what they want. They’re afraid to acknowledge that it’s time for a change because they’re scared to death about making it happen. Quit pretending what you have is okay if that’s not the case.

So here is the new plan for the rest of 2009 – I am going to do one thing each week to push myself out of my stagnation zone with the intent of “Getting my Ducks in a Row”.

Here are a few examples of what I will be working on:

1. I have to actually network when I attend networking events. Last week, I went to an event in which a speaker was presenting a topic I was interested in. I arrived late, sat at the student table in the back of the room, and left immediately after the presentation. I didn’t talk to a single member of the organization. Though it wasn't a total waste; I did enjoy talking with the students, this behavior is no longer acceptable. I have to push myself to make at least one professional contact when I attend these events.

2. I have to actually pick a book when it’s my turn to make the book selection for my new book club, rather than suggest someone else make the selection. This club (or book gathering as my fellow members like to call it) is different from book clubs I’ve joined in the past. The members are well read, actually read the books and discuss them at the gatherings; Oprah book selections are frowned upon. It is a little intimidating, since I typically read non-fiction; I am having a hard time coming up with an adequate fiction selection. I thought of choosing Steven Millhauser's Dangerous Laughter: Thirteen Stories which is one of Citizen Reader’s current selections for her Book Menage. It would make a great selection, but I’d feel as if I were cheating if I also selected it. Kate Atkinson's Behind the Scenes at the Museum is another possibility, except doesn’t the title alone sound a little too Oprah. I’d really like to introduce them to my favorite genre, non-fiction, especially one that reads like a novel, but I'm having trouble coming up with a good one. Does anyone have a suggestion; if so leave it in the comments.

3. I need to update my resume with quantifiable accomplishments. Both of the recruiters I work with have been encouraging me to do this for quite some time. They want me to add things like “Implemented blah, blah, blah which saved the company mucho bucks over the past five years."

4. I can no longer just send out my resume; I have to actually go to the interview if invited as well. I have been known to decline or cancel an interview at the last minute in the past.

So there you have it ~ my new focus for 2009 "Get my Ducks in a Row".

Scraping my New Years Resolutions

I've decided to scrap my New Year’s Resolutions; I wasn't making much progress anyway. Here is an update –

1. To be a better employee - This one went to the wayside shortly after my company's HR manager attacked my management skills. In the days following, it was all could do to concentrate on my work, let alone try to think like an owner.

2. To become a better blogger, this is something I still strive to do, but I’m not going to participate in the blog improvement project. I still think it’s a great idea and enjoy reading the project assignments. It's just that my blog posts are too infrequent to spend time blogging about my blog.

3. I am going to eat a healthier diet. I have made a small effort to eat better which has resulted in a one pound weight loss. Small effort = small results. Enough said about this one.

If I put my mind to it, I am sure I can come up with a better focus for the rest of 2009 than this.

AIG quote is cheaper: Should he switch?

Jim asks:
I received an insurance quote from AIG for both my homeowners and my auto insurance policies. The savings over my current policy is substantial; 30% for auto and 50% for homeowners. Is there a risk to switching to AIG? How can their rates be so low? What is the catch?

First, it is important to insure with a company that is financially solvent.
There are three companies that perform in depth investigations to determine an insurance company's financial strength—A.M. Best, Fitch, Moody’s and Standard & Poor’s. The most reliable, financially-stable insurance companies are rated AAA or triple-A. Most of the major insurance companies are A-rated. It is recommended that you go with an insurer that has at least a B rating.

To check AIG’s rating I went to the A.M. Best Website. AIG was rated A. This means only 1 in 500 companies in this category can be expected to go out of business and these companies are 3.3 times more likely to fail than those in the most secure ratings.

What are the consequences if AIG were to fail?
The chances of this happening are pretty slim, since AIG just received an influx of cash from the government. But if they were to fail, not only would you lose any premiums you had paid in, but you could liable for claims incurred if AIG was deemed insolvent. This could be substantial in the event of a liability claim. You would also need to shop for a new insurance policy; most likely one that will cost you more in premiums.

The greater problem may be slow processing of claims.
The InsuranceUSA Website is a marketplace where visitors can learn about insurance products and services and compare competitive offerings. AIG received 29 reviews; scoring 2/5 on customer service and 2.12/5 on claims. Saving money on insurance is great, but if customer service is poor and your claims are not processed on a timely basis you could be setting yourself up for frustrations down the road.

Make sure you are comparing apples to apples.
Really delve into both policies to make sure your AIG quote is not providing less coverage. Compare:
Policy Limits
Deductibles
Perils Covered
Valuation Clause: Actual cash (depreciated) value or replacement cost.

What is the Catch?
AIG lost a lot of business when it almost collapsed and is most likely aggressively trying to win back market share. If this is true and they are low-balling you this year, be prepared for a substantial increase in premiums next year.

Get multiple quotes.
The only way to know for sure if AIG is giving you a good deal it to get multiple quotes; maybe your current insurance company has been overcharging you.

Strategy Recommendation
Before switching, I’m recommending a strategy I’ve learned from the insurance agent I use at work: Go back to your current carrier, inform them you received a lower quote from another carrier (or several if you have multiple competitive quotes) and will switch carriers unless they can lower or better yet match your quoted premiums. If they want to keep your business, they may offer to revise your current policy's premiums. If they refuse, you will have to decide, based on your comfort level with the above information, if you want to make the switch.

The Decision
Jim switched to AIG. In performing his due diligence, he found his current carrier, Allstate, scored just as bad if not worse in financial stability, customer service and claims processing. He was comfortable that he received an apples to apples quote. Based on this information, he did not take my advice and go back to Allstate and ask if they would match his quote.

Jane Pauley gives “Practical Inspiration”

I heard Jane Pauley speak last month at Milwaukee's "Smart Talk Event." Along with a group of co-workers, I received a complementary ticket from an event sponsor. Due to the weak economy, ticket sales are down for this year’s "Smart Talk Series" which was evident by the number of seats that remained empty.

Prior to the event, I read Tim Cuprisin’s column in the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel where he introduces what Pauley calls “practical inspiration”:

It centers on a baby boom generation dealing with a longer life than preceding generations. To illustrate her point, she cites her Aunt Martha, who was forced to reinvent herself when she was widowed at 50, and worked 25 more years. Her aunt remained active until she was 90 and died at 94. She personifies what an awful lot of baby boomers are going to look forward to, and that is a long period of good health with frailty in old age and health issues compressed at the end of life. “I’m 58 years old, and the prospect of retiring now when I might have 20 or 30 healthy years ahead of me – one could get really bored.”

A little "practical inspiration" is exactly what I need right now. Even though I’m 15 – 20 years away from retirement, I feel as if I need to begin pursuing a change in my career now, but I have no idea how or where to begin. According to Pauley, "practical inspiration" is where ideas come from. Inspiration is everywhere, but you have to look for it. On change she says, “Going forward isn’t easy. Visualizing it is easy. Actualizing it is hard.” People handle change differently:

-Her friend Meg eagerly looks forward to what’s next.

-Ann, another friend, does not embrace change. She spends all of her time getting her ducks in a row. The point is not to get your ducks in a row. The point is to get your ducks in the water.

- Pauley describes herself as a butterfly, one who flits in an indirect path to a specific goal. All of her ducks are in the water she just doesn't know what to do with them.

I relate the most to Ann, who is afraid to step out of her comfort zone. To combat this fear, Pauley suggests instead of jumping into the water to take baby steps. This is practical advice for someone in my situation. I have a secure job, but everything about my career including my networking group feels stale. With more workers losing their job every day, it’s not exactly a good time to begin a job search or to even think about making a career change, but I can start by getting my ducks in a row. If I take one baby step each week, eventually I will be in the water.

After her speech, Jane was joined by Kathy Mykleby for a question-and-answer session. A follow-up point I found interesting is that Pauley’s 40's were not the best time of her life; her fifties are so much better. She says all over the world the 40's are the worst. Menopause and teenagers both of which appeared in her 40’s were not a good mix.

To date my 40’s (I am 46) have been sort of blah, I really like the idea of my 50’s being better. On the way home, I asked two of my co-workers, who are both in their 50’s, if Pauley’s statement rang true for them. It did not; both felt the quality of their life is worse in their fifties than it was in their 40’s. They based this on job satisfaction, financial well-being and their health. I think enjoying one particular decade over another is more dependent on career satisfaction, the quality of your relationships and your health rather than on your age. I have four more years 'til I’m fifty, I don't want to wait that long to have a more fulfilling life. Perhaps, I need a little "practical inspiration".

I know when its time to leave even if I don’t know where I’m going.
Jane Pauley - Skywriting

Related Posts:
Managing-second-half-of-your-life

Mandatory "Workplace Fun"

Alison Green of Ask a Manager's recent blog post: Should Managers Organize "Fun" at Work? is so relevant to my current work situation, I have to blog about it.

Alison's reader is fairly new to the HR industry and is thinking of organizing at least one fun activity at work every other month to build morale. She asks if Alison thinks this is an effective way to improve morale or if scheduling too many activities could actually take away from productivity.

Alison responds with:
Yes, there's such a thing as too many activities impacting productivity. Fundamentally, employees are there to get things done. So really, every activity you plan that takes them away from that impacts their productivity. Of course, presumably your thinking is that by increasing fun at work, you increase people's morale, which ultimately leads to higher productivity. And it's true that higher morale tends to equal higher productivity. But is "fun" the way to do it.

For most people, morale and quality of life at work isn't about having a series of fun activities, but rather about having coworkers you like, a boss who is fair and effective, the resources you need to do your job, recognition for good work, clear expectations, and so forth. In fact, without these things, planned activities can really backfire; it can be infuriating to work somewhere that doesn't put much effort into these fundamentals but then expects employees to go wild over a fun outing or social event. Also, many, many people will resent having their work time used on non-work activities. Show me an office organizing a cookie-decorating session and I will show you a bunch of people wondering why they can't instead just go home an hour earlier if you don't need them doing work during that time. Lots of people want to have their fun on their own time, in the ways they choose and with the people they choose.

Well said. I couldn't agree with her more:
My Company's HR manager is attempting to increase our company’s morale by arranging a “fun” potluck every month. At first these events were okay, but now employees from every department are beginning to resent them. They are no longer fun and feel like work. Plus, cooking for a group of forty can be expensive and wasteful; there is almost always too much food. When it’s time to clean up the HR manager (who is part-time) is gone for the day; employees who should be working (they are billable) are wiping tables, washing dishes, packing and throwing out uneaten food. Almost everyone has begun to dread these events, but no one wants to be the one to tell her, “Enough Already”. If you don’t participate she singles you out implying you are not a team player.

In these difficult economic times, many of our employees are working harder than ever before; the last thing they need is the additional task of lugging a crock pot to work. The latest consensus around the coffee machine is that everyone does enjoy getting together, but future lunch events need to be catered. The employees who wish to participate will pay their portion. And if you really want to improve morale, turn up the heat. It’s winter in Wisconsin and its cold in here. Haven't you noticed some employees are actually wrapped in blankets?

Enough Said.

Also, be sure to check out the comments on Alison's post. No one was in favor of mandatory "fun" and many included examples of events that went bad. It was also pointed out the potential of eating something prepared in unsanitary conditions. Do you want to eat something prepared by the co-worker who doesn't wash their hands?

What does fiduciary mean?

Due to my mother's birthday celebration and another Saturday spent preparing year-end spreadsheets for my company's upcoming audit, all I have time for is a short question from Jenna:

What does fiduciary mean?
According to the Dictionary of Finance and Investment Terms, a fiduciary is a person, company, or association holding assets in trust for a beneficiary. The fiduciary is charged with the responsibility of investing the money wisely for the beneficiary's benefit. Some examples of fiduciaries are executors of wills and estates, receivers in bankruptcy, trustees, and those who administer the assets of underage or incompetent beneficiaries.

In addition, administrators of employee benefit plans (especially retirement plans) are considered fiduciaries.

One of the central duties of a fiduciary is to act prudently. Fiduciaries through their actions, or inactions, motivated by, or through ignorance or neglect, may be held personally liable if they breach their duties. Furthermore, fiduciaries should be aware of the actions of co- fiduciaries, since fiduciaries have potential liability for the actions of fellow fiduciaries.

My boss and the chairman of our company are the administrators of our company's 401(k) plan both take their fiduciary responsibility seriously and are well aware of the risk involved. Neither will offer investment advice nor would issue any type of "Stay the course" memo during the most recent stock market decline.

For a more in depth discussion on the definition of a fiduciary please read this article - What is your fiduciary IQ?

Job Market Rambings

“Job loss in U.S. worst since 1945” was the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel's newspaper headline yesterday. It seems as if media reports concerning the job market and unemployment are becoming increasingly dismal each day. Is it really that bad? Here are some examples of what I’ve been witnessing from southeast Wisconsin concerning the job market:

- My niece’s boyfriend graduated in May with a graphic arts degree from a prestigious art school. He interviewed with 27 different advertising agencies before receiving a second interview and ultimately a job offer. This occurred in early December. HR representatives told him companies have slashed their advertising budgets by 40%. This has been a humbling experience and he is grateful to finally have a permanent position.

- My company laid-off our first female salesperson for failing to meet her sales goals last fall. I blogged about her here. This was a real disappointment because she was our first female salesperson and also because it's rumored she didn't really try. Supposedly, she refused to follow up on sales leads. What was she thinking? Now she is unemployed in this economy.

- My company made a job offer to a candidate for the above position. He was looking to make a career change from inside sales to outside. After reviewing our benefit and salary package, he decided to stay where he was. He wasn’t willing to take the risk of working on a commission basis with fewer benefits in today’s economy.

- Our HR department reposted the advertisement for the above job on various internet web-sites; one day’s worth of resumes utilized an entire ream of paper and then some. The applicants come from the banking and mortgage industries, land development and recent college grads.

- While listening to a recent radio talk show, I heard the nursing industry is actively recruiting in the Milwaukee area. Nurses are in such short supply at the Wheaton Franciscan Healthcare in the Milwaukee-area city of Glendale that they gave $50 gas cards to experienced nurses just for showing up for an interview.

Last year, Kiplinger.com ran a feature about recession-proof careers. These fields include healthcare, education, security, environmental science and government. If your area of expertise can be performed in any sector such as IT, HR or accounting be sure to include the above sectors in your job search.

The headline in yesterday's paper is deceiving; our country's population is substantially larger today than it was in 1945. When comparing the percentage of individuals losing their jobs with the countries total population, the actual jobs lost was much worse in 1945 than it is today. In saying that and despite certain sector hiring, it appears that this is a challenging, humbling and scary job market for many individuals searching for new employment.

Working with a FOB (friend of the boss)

Last summer, our President offered a friend of his family a permanent position as our HR Manager. Her original introduction into the company over a year ago was not handled well resulting in all sorts of problems. She was never given a detailed job description and our employees did not have a clear understanding of her role in the company. This allowed her to create her own job description stepping on many toes in the process. Over a year later, employees still do not embrace her or her ideas. They do not trust or respect her as an HR Manager. This is probably for good reason, her main objective since she arrived was to create a permanent job for herself and her loyalties clearly lie with the owners. Others feel she received special treatment, such as an extremely flexible schedule and a higher than normal salary that would not have occurred if she wasn’t a friend of the owner.

I am one of her few confidants, yet I have also had my differences with her. As I look back on 2008, I realize too much time and energy was spent by me and my department resisting her and her ideas. I have come to realize if I were to become her rival everybody loses; her, the company and especially me, since she is the family friend. In 2009, I vow to develop the best possible relationship I can with her.

As a peace offering, I am sending her a note (written on the note cards she gave me as a holiday gift) thanking her for her support and encouragement in 2008 and wishing her a Happy New Year and a successful 2009. Perhaps others will follow my example and as a group we will begin focusing our energy on the real problems at hand such as the lousy economy.

Stephen King writes, "Only 5% of writers can support themselves with their work"

Stephen King's book On Writing didn’t inspire me to quit my day job as it did Trent on The Simple Dollar, but I did enjoy the book.

For me, this paragraph alone made the book a worthwhile read:

"Another argument in favor of writing courses has to do with the men and women who teach them. There are thousands of talented writers at work in America, and only a few of them (I think the number might be as low as five percent) can support their families and themselves with their work. There’s always some grant money available, but it is never enough to go around. As for government subsidies for creative writers, perish the thought. Tobacco subsidies, sure. Research grants to study the motility of unpreserved bull sperm, of course. Creative-writing subsidies, never. Most voters would agree, I think. With the exception of Norman Rockwell and Robert Frost, America has never much revered her creative people; as a whole, we’re more interested in commemorative plates from the Franklin Mint and Internet greeting-cards. And if you don’t like it it’s a case of tough titty said the kitty ‘cause that is just the way things are. Americans are a lot more interested in TV quiz shows than in the short fiction of Raymond Carver."

FYI, King feels critiques given by fellow participants at writing workshops are useless and may even be detrimental to your writing process. He recommends writing the first draft quickly for yourself and the second draft for your readers. Questions and comments from others while writing the first draft breaks your concentration and could change the course of your book.

I haven’t read a lot of King’s fiction, but I am familiar with most of his work through movies. I enjoyed his autobiographical section, learned a little bit about writing and was touched by the moving account of his near death accident and the challenges he encountered in recovery.

I rate this book 4.5/5.

Scaling Back This Holiday Season

December is typically a busy month for me both at home and at work. In addition to holiday activities, I am closing my company’s books and finalizing next year’s budget. This year has been exceptionally busy; it’s my turn to host my extended family’s holiday meal. Last week, in the midst of shopping, decorating, and cleaning I realized I had three parties to attend over a two day period all of which required I bring a dish to pass. To save my sanity, I decided I had to scale back. This is what I came up with:

The neighborhood cookie exchange:
I am not going to participate this year. I don’t have time to make 5 dozen cookies, nor do I need to eat them. Plus, my husband doesn't particularly like the exchange. He can’t understand why I give away his favorite cookies only to receive ones he doesn't like.

Holiday cards:
I am not sending cards this year. This isn’t a new practice; I didn’t mail cards last year either. My thinking is if I don’t take the time to write a note, send something creative or purchase cards from a charitable organization what is the point. Hopefully, my friends and family don’t feel slighted by not receiving the token Hallmark card with just my signature on it. I love receiving their cards especially the ones that are handmade and include family photos.

Volunteer work:
I am not attending my professional organization’s mid-year board meeting. I am no longer on the board and am not sure why I feel obligated to travel across town during rush hour traffic to attend a meeting in which I most likely will be persuaded to chair another committee.

The work pot-luck:
I am bringing Frito snack mix as my dish to pass. A bag of Fritos is mixed with plain M&M’s, peanut M&M’s, peanuts, chocolate stars and chocolate peanuts. No cooking. No cleanup. No hauling of crock pots and no searching for room in the work refrigerator. This is my kind of dish.

Buying gifts for family:
Instead of spending hours searching for the perfect gift, I have asked for gift ideas from my recipient's spouses and their children. I have been surprised by their practical suggestions; slow cooker, gloves and socks. (Also, as a group my family decided to lower the spending limit for our gift exchange this year.)

Giving gifts to co-workers:
I am not going to rush out to buy a gift for my HR manager just because she gave me one. It's kind of weird; she gave only me and one other person in my department a gift. To reciprocate I wouldn’t feel comfortable giving a gift just to her; what about the other people in my department or the employees I work closely with in other departments. I've already participated in my company's gift-exchange. I am going to leave it at that.

Holiday Dinner menu:
After a failed trial run making slow-cooked wild rice, I've decided to serve Uncle Ben’s wild rice out of a box as one of my holiday meal side dishes.

Scaling back doesn’t always have to be about money, sometimes we need to step back, evaluate our situation and be realistic about what we can and can’t easily accomplish in a tight time frame.

"I hate my supervisor"

Alyssa asks:
Two years ago I was promoted to a different department within my company. I love what I do and have been performing very well. The problem is my supervisor; I hate her and she hates me. She inherited me as a subordinate when my department merged with hers last January. Things got pretty bad earlier this year, forcing me to file a harassment suit against her. HR performed an investigation and determined no harassment had occurred. They did, however, send her to an all day training seminar. Since then, we both go out of our way to avoid each other, but I am constantly on edge thinking she is plotting to get rid of me. My old department has sought me out and offered me my old job back. I hate the idea of giving up my current position, and salary, yet the thought of working for this woman another minute literally makes me ill. What should I do?

I think your best bet is to seek employment outside of your organization. Your company does not have your interests in mind. They have already demonstrated this by neglecting to help you work through the problems you are having with your supervisor. Keep in mind with the economy in the doldrums; it could take several months to find a new position outside of your company. Worst case scenario it may take a year to find a new position. Do you think you could work for your supervisor another year?

“2008 was the worst year of my working life. Working for her another whole year! No, I really don’t think I can.”

You have just answered your own question. Working for a boss who dislikes and harasses you affects your work performance and mental health. Go back to your old job where you are wanted and appreciated. Start networking with family and friends letting them know you are looking for position similar to the one you have right now. Enlist your former boss (the one that originally hired you for your new position) to give you a reference. Good luck. Hopefully, with your renewed confidence and the 2nd-quarter projected economic turnaround, you will have a new job before you know it.

As to giving up your position and salary, a few years ago I took a pay-cut and gave up a title to escape a bad boss and have never looked back. With-in one year I was making the same salary as what I had given up. As to the title, a title is just that a title, I was working on more interesting projects in my new position working for a "great boss" than when I had the fancy title.

Greenatopia

Greenatopia is the fictional start-up company Sara Walker works for on ABC's “Brothers & Sisters”. In last week’s episode, Sara and her partners describe their company as follows:

“We're talking about an eco-friendly company with an exciting revenue model. You input your zip code, the product you want, and voila! We give you all your local options. The customer base is there. Everybody's dying to buy local. The starting demographics of a site like Greenatopia are users with an income average of between $150,000 and $200,000 a year. This is a low-cost company with global growth potential. Not to mention, we might actually do some good for the planet.”

I think most people have good intentions and like the idea of buying local, green, and organic, but most do not go out of their way to seek out these options. Other than buying a few tomatoes at the local farmer's market, few people I know make an effort to buy local.

Why don't consumers seek out eco-friendly products?

First, the demographics listed above for Greenatopia users, family incomes between $150,000 and $200,000 a year, are probably realistic. A couple of months ago, I asked a group of women who were discussing healthy food options, whether they bought organic products. Not a one of them did. All of them were concerned with chemicals and food additives being in the food they fed their children, but felt their budgets were stretched just purchasing regular produce, let alone organic.

The second drawback is the time needed to sift through all the purchasing options available. Today's consumer is overwhelmed with choices. It's more convenient to shop at the local Wal-Mart or Costco where most of the items needed can be found and purchased at a low cost. Extra effort is needed to seek out green products.

I think as a society we need to start making more conscious decisions about what and where we buy. We can’t afford to buy the best of everything, so we need to make trade-offs. How many $7.00 shirts from Wal-Mart do we really need? By buying less and making decisions based on need rather than want, we might be able to fit more eco-friendly items into our buying mix. Greenatopia is a clever idea; if the information was easily assessable more people from all incomes would be able to make better choices.

What I've been reading.

I am the type of reader who usually has two or three different books going at the same time. Right now I’m reading John Bowe's Nobodies and Reg Theriault's How to Tell When You're Tired in preparation for Citizen Reader’s Book Ménage which begins December 8th. The book ménage is an on-line book club where everyone reads a pair of related books (selected by vote on her site) and then discusses them in the comments section. The above choices are bound to generate a thought provoking discussion. I encourage you to participate or at least check it out.

Also, on my night stand is Stephen King’s, On Writing. This book has been on my reading list, since I read Trent's review on the Simple Dollar. He attributes this book as giving him the inspiration to quit his day job and become a full-time writer. I have never aspired to be a writer nor do I now, but I love reading books that inspired other people to pursue there dreams. Who knows I just might pick up a couple of writing tips.

Books recently completed:
To Love What Is by Alix Kates Shulman - I have been an Alix Kates Shulman fan ever since reading her memoir, "Drinking the Rain", so when I came across this post on Gretchen's blog "The Happiness Project" I knew I had to read, "To Love What Is", her latest book. Per Gretchen, the catastrophe began when:

Shulman's 75-year-old husband fell from a nine-foot sleeping loft in July 2004; he suffered a brain injury that keeps him from having a short-term memory. Her memoir covers the accident and the aftermath, and in flashbacks, the period during which they met, went separate ways, and years later, married.

I can't help but admire Shulman's spirit and patience; I can only hope if I ever faced a similar situation I would be able to handle it with the same strength and grace. The book is also a haunting reminder of how we need to be cognizant of our own physical limitations as well as those of our love ones. Perhaps, a 75 year-old man with signs of dementia should not have been sleeping on a nine-foot loft that didn't have a railing in a cottage without electricity on an isolated island without a road to get to it. The book also makes a strong case for purchasing long-term care insurance.

Kindred by Octavia E Butler - Dana, an African-American woman living in the late 1970s, is suddenly transported back in time to a Maryland slave plantation in 1819. It turns out that she’s been called back in time to save the son of the white plantation owner–a boy who, she soon learns, is one of her ancestors.

This book is considered a fantasy thriller, but is really so much more than that. Its depiction of slavery is one of the best historical fiction accounts on the subject I have ever read. I assure you, this book will stay with you for days.

Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro – This book was a recommendation by my friend Dana who described it as a thought provoking worth while read she felt to be much better than, “Remains of the Day.” As children Kathy, Ruth, and Tommy were students at Hailsham, an exclusive boarding school secluded in the English countryside. It was a place of mercurial cliques and mysterious rules where teachers were constantly reminding their charges of how special they were. Now, years later, Kathy is a young woman. Ruth and Tommy have reentered her life. And for the first time she is beginning to look back at their shared past and understand just what it is that makes them special–and how that gift will shape the rest of their time together.

I can't say I liked this book, but I did feel it was worth my time.

"Bringing Home the Birkin"

In Bringing Home the Birkin: My Life in Hot Pursuit of the World's Most Coveted Handbag, author Michael Tonello impulsively moves to Barcelona, after becoming enthralled with the city while working there on assignment. His new motto is, “Work to live, not live to work.” Unfortunately, soon after he signs a five year apartment lease, he finds himself without a job. To make ends meet he begins selling his possessions on eBay. Noting the popularity of a Hermes scarf he begins scouring European boutiques for Hermes items. This leads to a customer request for a Birkin (a pricey status bag that starts at $7,500 and is sold in limited numbers) and his discovery of the magic Birkin purchasing formula.

This is a must read if you ever dreamed of working from home in your pajamas as a full-time eBay re-seller. Michael quickly learns there isn’t much you need to know about eBay in order to use it successfully. He would set an opening bid for an item, and also a reserve (the lowest price he was willing to sell for). He was partial to either a 7- or 10- day action, timed to end on Sunday evening when most people would be at home. (I based these calculations on “eBay time” aka Pacific Standard Time, since the greatest number of eBay users are in the USA).

The job isn’t as easy as it looks. Michael discovers the more you work the more you make. He made a lot of money, which meant he worked a lot. In 2005, he says he spent 1.6 million purchasing Birkins for resale. His life became a series of shopping excursions, emails and trips to the post office. In the end, after losing his mother, he comes to the conclusion that traipsing all over Europe buying overpriced purses for spoiled Americans is a shallow way to make a living and gives it up.

The book is a delightful tale/travelogue. While recounting his experiences, he gives the reader a glimpse into his exotic lifestyle; the gourmet food, wine, expensive hotels and luxurious shopping venues he visits and of course insight into all things Hermes. He does all this in an engaging style and dry down-to-earth wit.

Here are a couple of unrelated items I’ve procured from the book:
~ Barcelona and the island of Capri are now on my list of places I’d like to visit.
~ The following items have been added to my reading list:
- Lillian Hellman's novel Pentimento”
- Truman Capote's novel “In Cold Blood”
- Somerset Maugham’s short story, “The Lotus Eater”