Non-Fiction You Can’t Put Down

While searching for non-fiction books to take with me on my recent vacation, I came across a list of "Non-Fiction books You Can’t Put Down" at my local library. Since Bill Bryson’s book A Walk in the Woods: Rediscovering America on the Appalachian Trail, one of my all-time favorite non-fiction books was at the top of the list I decided the list deserved a second look.  Here are my thoughts on the other selections:

Into Thin Air by Jon Krakauer :
Krakauer writes an inside account of the 1996 Mount Everest disaster when eight climbers were killed and several others were stranded by a horrific storm.  This book has been on my reading list for several years, but I’ve been waiting for the right moment to read about mountain climbing gone wrong.    Previously, I read and thoroughly enjoyed Krakauer’s book Into the Wild and am sure I will get around to this one eventually.  

Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach
The library list describes this book as Informative and funny without being disrespectful, the author investigates what happens to bodies after death when donated for medical research transplants and forensic science.  Though the book sounds interesting, I was not in the mood to read about dead bodies at the time.

Radioactive: Marie and Pierre Curie: A Tale of Love and Fallout by Lauren Redniss:
In 1891, 24-year old Marie Sklodowska moved from Warsaw to Paris, where she found work in the laboratory of Pierre Curie, a scientist engaged in research on heat and magnetism.  They fell in love.  Their work was revolutionary and deadly.  Here is the enthralling story of their lives, work, and deaths.  This book sounded intriguing and I've added it to my TBR list.


Guns, Germs and Steel by Jared Diamond
Why did the peoples of certain continents succeed in invading other continents and conquering or displacing their peoples? Why weren’t native Australians, Americans or Africans the ones to colonize Europe? Diamond has written a book exploring his theories in answering these questions.  I’ve read this one.  It was readable, entertaining and thought provoking.  If you haven’t read it and are interested in social issues I recommend reading this one.

In the Shadow of Man by Jane Goodall
This is the best-selling classic that tells the story of Jane Goodall’s study of chimpanzees in the wild. This sounds like a great read for my BE Strong reading challenge I will be undertaking in 2013. I would like to read a couple of books about strong women and think this one might be a good selection.

                  Truck: A Love Story by Michael Perry
Perry a Wisconsin native returns to his home town of New Auburn Wisconsin and writes a book about the year he spent restoring an old truck and falling in love.  This book is the reason I now take four or five books with me on a vacation. I read it while on a camping trip in western Wisconsin with my husband who spent the trip trying to convince me we should relocate to the area.  I had grown up on a farm in western Wisconsin and had spent the first 18 years of my life plotting how to get as far away from the area as possible.  The last day of our trip it rained, my husband took our vehicle to go fishing and there was nothing for me to do accept sit under a screen tent and try to keep my book as dry as possible while reading.  The more I read, the more annoyed I became about the prospect of moving, camping in the rain and reading this book.  I didn’t finish it and haven’t been able to bring myself to open another book written by Perry since.  This is a perfect example of reading a book at the wrong time.


True Notebooks: A Writer's Year at Juvenile Hall by Mark Salzman:
In 1997 author Mark Salzman paid a reluctant visit to a writing class at LA.’s Central Juvenile Hall a lockup for violent teenage offenders, many of them charged with murder.  What he found so moved and astonished him that he began to teach there regularly.  In voices of indelible emotional presence, the boys write about what let them to crime and about the lives that stretch ahead of them behind bars.  We see them coming to terms with their crime-ridden pasts and searching for a reason to believe in their future selves.  Insightful, comic, honest and tragic.  True Notebooks is an object lesson in the redemptive power of writing.  Wow, I hadn’t heard of this book prior to seeing it on the list.  This one sounds like a must read.

Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil by John Berendt
Shots rang out in Savannah's grandest mansion in the misty, early morning hours of May 2, 1981. Was it murder or self-defense? For nearly a decade, the shooting and its aftermath reverberated throughout this hauntingly beautiful city of moss-hung oaks and shaded squares. John Berendt's sharply observed, suspenseful, and witty narrative reads like a thoroughly engrossing novel. I listened to this book on audio several years ago and although I frequently see it listed on lists of nonfiction books that read like fiction I wouldn’t include it on a list of my favorites. I‘ve often wondered if I missed something by listening to the book rather than reading it.  Despite not being overly enamored with the book, I did add visiting Savannah to my bucket list.

The Physics Book: From the Big Bang to Quantum Resurrection, 250 Milestones in the History of Physics by Clifford A. Pickover
A richly illustrated chronology of physics contains 250 short, entertaining and thought provoking entries.  In addition to exploring such engaging topics as dark energy, parallel universes, the Doppler effect, the God particle and Maxwell’s demon, the book’s timeline extends back billions of years to the hypothetical Big Bank and forward trillions of years to a time of quantum resurrection. I am not interested in reading about science, so I will be skipping this one.

Mayflower: A Story of Courage, Community, and War by Nathaniel Philbrick:
A fresh and extraordinarily vivid account of the voyage of the Mayflower and the settlement of Plymouth Colony.  From the Mayflower’s arduous Atlantic crossing to the eruption of King Phillip’s War between colonists and natives decades later, Philbrick reveals a fifty-five year epic, at once tragic and heroic, that still resonates with us today.  One of my nonfiction reading friends read this book and highly recommended it, so after seeing it on this list I decided to take it with me on vacation.  I didn’t get around to reading it while in California, but did so after returning home finishing it the Friday after Thanksgiving. It was a perfect November read and an eye opener into what really occurred during that period in history.  I was both appalled and disgusted by the brutality the English (especially the religious Pilgrims and puritans) subjected upon the Native Americans. Philbrick pulled the book together for me with this paragraph: 

It is easy to mock past attempts to venerate and sanctify the Pilgrims, especially given what their sons and grandsons did to the Native Americans. And yet, we must look with something more than cynicism at a people who maintained more than half a century of peace with their Native neighbors.  The great mystery of this story is how American emerged from the terrible darkness of King Philip’s War to become the United States. (Pg. 397)

If you don't care to read this book, but would still like to learn more about the real Pilgrims please see Talkin' Turkey: What Travel Taught Us About the First Thanksgiving on the Huffington Post.
Have you read any of the books listed above?  If so, what were your thoughts? Do you have any non-fiction recommendations you think should be added to the list?

Please Note, I am an Amazon Affiliate

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Good Posture Helps Older Employee Get Hired

I know of a company that recently hired a new manager. This manager  had lost his job after the company he worked for in another state went out of business. He came highly recommended and interviewed extremely well. In addition to being offered a position, he was given a signing bonus and reimbursement for his moving expenses.

Shortly after the employee filled out his new-hire paperwork, the company’s hiring manager told me she had misjudged him. What was the problem - HE WAS 66 YEARS OLD. She had not seen this one coming, during the interview process she had pegged him to be in his mid-50’s. She was sure he took this job only to have her company pay for his moving expenses, so he could retire near his family.*     

This story has two significant points:

Despite anti-discrimination laws hiring managers do “profile” and discriminate when making hiring decisions:
In my post How to Get a Promotion, I wrote the over-40 crowd is hugely discriminated against. Companies want to hire employees who are on the up-swing on the bell curve of their careers rather than on the down-swing. This hiring manager’s comment reveals she clearly profiles her job candidates. I wonder if she had known the real age of this candidate prior to making her offer if she would have considered him for the position. 

Appearance does matter:
I had the pleasure of meeting this employee and I too thought he looked much younger than his true age. He must color his hair. I took a second look, the man was almost entirely bald and the little hair he did have was mostly gray. Then I realized what it was; he was incredibly fit and had a dynamic presence. His posture was perfect. His erect stance took ten years off his appearance.

The Importance of Good Posture:
In Primer magazine’s article The Secret to Having a Commanding Presence Antwan McLean writes:

Whether you’re selling insurance, asking for a discount, or convincing her she wants to give you her number, you must present a confident, convincing posture. 

Keep your feet shoulder width apart in a grounded stance, hold your shoulders back, and keep your back straight. This presents a confidence that leads people to trust you, subconsciously admire you, and begin to agree with whatever it is you have to say. Take notice of how you stand in your next presentation or conversation. Practice the skill of straight posture until it becomes a natural part of your presence.

How can we improve our posture?
In the book Sitting Kills, Moving Heals: How Everyday Movement Will Prevent Pain, Illness, and Early Death - and Exercise Alone Won't author Joan Vernikos recommends:

Begin by placing a small bean bag on your head; next, place a small book on our head while sitting in a straight-backed chair. Working at your computer is a good start. If you slouch or raise your shoulders, the book will fall off. Once you’ve mastered balancing the book while sitting still, carry it on your head as you walk around. You will get better at this with perseverance. You may increase the size and weight of the book, making it a spine-strengthening habit as well. (pg. 66)

* Supposedly this assumption is not true. When confronted about his age this employee stated he planned on working several more years.

Do you know someone who has a dynamic presence? What attributes do you think contribute to their presence? Do you have any techniques for improving posture or for creating a more dynamic presence?

 

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Reading 'The House of Mondavi' by Julia Flynn Siler Enhances My California Wine-Country Vacation

I’ve written before about how I try to match my vacation reads to the setting I am visiting. So when a friend recommended I read Julia Flynn Siler’s book The House of Mondavi: The Rise and Fall of an American Wine Dynasty for my upcoming trip to California’s wine country, I quickly put this book at the top of my vacation reading list.

Book Synopsis:
A scandal-plagued story of the immigrant family that built—and then lost—a global wine empire Set in California’s lush Napa Valley and spanning four generations of a talented and visionary family, The House of Mondavi is a tale of genius, sibling rivalry, and betrayal. From 1906, when Italian immigrant Cesare Mondavi passed through Ellis Island, to the Robert Mondavi Corp.’s twenty-first-century battle over a billion-dollar fortune, award-winning journalist Julia Flynn Siler brings to life both the place and the people in this riveting family drama. A meticulously reported narrative based on more than five hundred hours of interviews, The House of Mondavi is a modern classic.

Thoughts:
Though the Mondavi family business is wine, the focus of this book isn’t wine or wine making, it is the Mondavi family, their family business and the business of wine. Since I work as an accountant for a family-owned business, I found much in this book I could relate to. I especially enjoyed reading about what works and more importantly what doesn’t work in a family-run business. In addition to office politics, family politics are also at play. Here is what Alan Ferguson, Rainier Brewing Company’s chief executive, had to say after meeting with Robert about Rainer’s backing of the Robert Mondavi Winery:

Was sibling rivalry fueling Robert’s drive to build a bigger operation? Or did he simply need a deep-pocketed investor if the winery was to keep its creditors at bay? As the head of a family enterprise himself, Ferguson was no stranger to the emotional undercurrents that influence so many business decisions. (Pg. 88)

This is what Dr. Grundland, a psychiatrist hired to advise the Mondavi family and employees on how to improve their relationships with one another, observed:

What became evident through the sessions was that a destructive triangle had arisen among Robert and his two sons. Just as Rosa had intervened to protect Peter, Robert often stepped in to try to defend Timothy in dealing with his older brother, Michael. Yet at the same time, as long as Michael and Timothy continued to fight with each other, Robert could remain the key decision-maker. It was a pattern that other entrepreneurs also struggled with, consciously or unconsciously, as the time came for them to pass control to the next generation: Were they sabotaging their successors in an effort to hold on to the reins a little longer themselves. (Pg. 196)

I enjoyed all of the business aspects of this book; from Cesar Mondavi’s building of the business, to Rosa Mondavi’s estate planning, Robert Mondavi’s succession planning, the implications of the Robert Mondavi Winery becoming a publicly traded company and the economic impact decisions such as building a Chilean winery, a deal to promote fine wine at Disneyland and Robert Mondavi’s large charitable commitments had on the business.

Reading this book prompted several interesting discussions while on vacation:

With a Sonoma County business owner:
After reading about Robert and Margarit Mondavi’s five million dollar home in Napa Valley I mentioned to a Sonoma business owner that the homes and wineries I had seen in Sonoma County were much smaller than I had anticipated. Upon hearing the Mondavi name this person went into a rant about how Robert Mondavi and his family had ruined Napa, their family feuds were shameful, and their excess spending including their large homes and lavish parties were deplorable. In her opinion, Sonoma County was fortunate Napa’s excesses had stayed in Napa.

With a winery owner’s niece:
When I mentioned my conversation with the Sonoma business owner to a winery owner’s niece, the niece adamantly disagreed. She had met Robert Mondavi at one of his lavish parties when she was a young girl. She remembered him as a kind, funny, little man. She felt he had done more to promote “wine education” than any other winery owner and that the American wine industry would not be what it is today if it hadn’t been for Robert Mondavi. She thinks The Robert Mondavi Winery still provides the best wine education in Napa. See: Robert Mondavi Winery is the place to go for your Napa Valley Wine education. 

With a former Opus One employee:
At an Alexander Valley Wine tasting, our wine host mentioned he had started his career as a distributor for Opus One. Opus One, the Napa Cabernet blend Robert Mondavi made in partnership with the Rothschild family of Bordeaux, France, my ears perked up. I had to tell him I was reading The House of Mondavi. He then relayed a story about the time he had met Robert Mondavi. It was a hot summer day, he had purchased a sandwich at a gas station and not wanting to eat in his car had moved to a private picnic table on the Mondavi property.  While enjoying his sandwich, he saw Robert and his wife Margarit walking towards him. He was sure he was going to be fired when Robert bellowed out, “What do you think you are doing?” The employee stood up, offered his hand and said, “Mr. Mondavi it is so nice to meet you, you’ve paid my electric bill for the past 20 years.” Robert and Margarit then sat down and the three of them were engaged in conversation for the next two hours.

Conversations about the craft of wine-making:
Even conversations where I didn’t bring up the Mondavi name benefited from having read this book.   I understood the small wine-maker's frustration when he talked of creating premium wines for famous big-name wineries without receiving credit. And the wine-maker whose family winery was purchased by the Silicon Valley millionaire who was more interested in profits than making quality wine.

Bottom Line:
The House of Mondavi: The Rise and Fall of an American Wine Dynasty may not be a book for everyone. The boardroom and family back-stabbing along with the corporate takeover may be a bit too boring for some reader’s taste.  This is a book for someone interested in the wine industry or in business, especially family-run businesses. For me, I enjoyed The House of Mondavi: The Rise and Fall of an American Wine Dynasty because it was the perfect read to enhance my vacation experience.

If you enjoyed this book you may also like Sweet and Low: A Family Story another book I've read about a family-owned business, although this book is written by Rick Cohen, the disinherited grandson instead of an unbiased author, who at times he is clearly bitter.

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Deciding to Join "Bleak House" Read-a-Long in the Aftermath of Sandy

This week I was going to post what I learned from my vacation to Northern California, but in the aftermath of storm Sandy writing about a vacation seems inappropriate.

My brother lives in NYC.  Here is a picture he took of the west village from his apartment window immediately after the storm.  If you look closely you can see the dark buildings in the background. How eerie it must have been:

I didn't hear from him again until Tuesday night at 6:00 p.m. when he emailed to say, "Just walked north twenty blocks and charging phone at an ATM. They think the power will take a few days to a week."

On Wednesday he went to Brooklyn and spent the rest of the week with friends.  His power was restored Saturday morning at 4:00 a.m.  It took 12 hours for his apartment to reheat.  The building where he works will be open tomorrow, but will not have heat until Wednesday.   Today he was supposed to have run in the NYC marathon; he is not too upset that the race has been canceled though since he injured his knee a couple of weeks ago.  Instead he is staying inside and is reading Daniel J. Boorstin's book The Creators: A History of Heroes of the Imagination:

 

According to Wikipedia this book is about the story of mankind's creativity. It highlights great works of art, music and literature but it is more than a recitation or list. It is a book of ideas and the people behind those ideas. It encompasses architecture, music, literature, painting, sculpture, the performing arts, theater, religious expression and philosophy.

He is enjoying the book, but at 832 pages it is a daunting read.

Speaking of daunting reads, I have decided to join a read-a-long of Charles Dickens’ classic novel Bleak House hosted by Jenny (Jenny Love to Read) and Trish (Love, Laughter and a Touch of Insanity). 

 

I've been meaning to read one of Charles Dickens' books for some time, so when Kim from Sophisticated Dorkiness  mentioned she was participating in the read-a-long I decided to join as well.  In the past I've found it easier to read a classic novel as part of a book club or on-line discussion group.  According to the book's jacket the novel is about:

The injustices of the out-of-date English legal system, which bring misery and ruin to the characters involved in settling the distribution of the Jarndyse estate.  The other great theme of the novel is that of hypocritical philanthropists-portrayed here in the character of Mrs. Jellby-who bestow charity on distant lands at the expense of family and neighbours. 

I also spotted Bleak House on Flavorwire's An Essential Stormy Weather Reading List where they wrote:

Bleak House begins with the weather: “Implacable November weather” with a dense fog everywhere. Not only this, but mud and drizzle and flakes of soot “as big as full-grown snow-flakes — gone into mourning, one might imagine, for the death of the sun.” The weather is meant, at least in part, to evoke the equally dark and oppressive mire of the mid-nineteenth century judicial system — both topics perfect to read about while sitting safe inside by the fire as a wild storm rages outside.

How appropriate.  Also, since injustice is one of my favorite reading topics along with the fact that Bleak House is considered Dickens best work this should be a good read for me.

The only problem is my copy of the book is 880 pages long.  Talk about daunting.  It is a good thing the read-a-long doesn't end until December 31st.

What is the most daunting book you have ever read?  Have you read any of Charles Dickens' works?  If you've read the  Bleak House what were your thoughts?

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Not Understanding Hertz Refueling Policy is a Costly Lesson

We received an excellent deal on a car rental booked thru priceline.com for our recent trip to California.  Hertz accepted our bid for a full-sized sedan at $30 a day with unlimited mileage.

When we arrived at San Francisco’s SFO airport the Hertz rental counter was crazy busy. After waiting in line for at least 30 minutes, our Hertz representative was courteous and attentive.  She recommended we sign up for the Fuel Purchase Option (FPO) which she felt was the best refueling deal. We would purchase a full tank from Hertz at a price competitive with local fuel stations (currently around $4.49 a gallon) at rental.  When we returned the car the fuel tank should be as close to empty as possible, since we’d already pre-purchased a full tank of gas. Despite Clark Howard's advice to never prepay for fuel, the thought of not having the hassle of refueling before our return flight was appealing. Yes we both agreed, sign us up for that.  We were told our vehicle, which had been upgraded to a Jeep Liberty, would be ready in about an hour and we would be asked if we wanted the FPO option at that time.

After only 10 minutes, our vehicle was ready.  We were handed our Hertz contract along with the keys to the Jeep Liberty and were whisked off to the stall where our rental awaited us.  It was only after we had left the airport that I realized we were not asked about the FPO option.  Perhaps that nice Hertz representative had automatically signed us up for it.  Our rental contract said something about fuel and services at $9.29 a gallon. Something was not right, we would have to call and get clarification the next day.

Unfortunately Consumer Cellular, my cell phone carrier, does not have coverage in northern California.  I thought for sure I had checked into this before we left, but after losing cell phone coverage shortly after leaving San Francisco I realized I had not.  We decided to operate as if we had purchased the FPO option and talk to Hertz about the incorrect fuel price in our contract when we returned the car.

We filled up our Jeep Liberty's fuel tank the day before our vacation ended.  We had one final day of sight-seeing in addition to the two hour drive from our inn in Cloverdale to the airport.  We would attempt to return the vehicle with an empty fuel tank.

Traffic through downtown San Francisco on our return trip to the airport was terrible.  Plus, our GPS did not recognize streets that were closed due to construction or those that did not allow for left turns between 7:00 am and 7:00 pm on weekdays. After many GPS recalculations, we arrived at SFO’s Hertz car return with no time to spare.  My husband did a quick check-in as I grabbed our bags.  We reviewed our final Hertz bill as we ran to our terminal.  We were charged an additional $9.29 a gallon for 9.75 gallons of fuel totaling $104.66.  

We barely made our flight.  If we had stopped to refuel the rental car, we would have surely missed it.

Obviously the exorbitant refueling charge is mostly our fault for not understanding Hertz’s policy, but I feel Hertz should have verbally informed us of the refueling option stated in our contract when they gave it to us.  With each trip we take my husband complains more about the “travel” part of traveling and how he doesn’t want the hassle any more. Hertz you are not helping my case.

How about you?  Have you ever misunderstood a vehicle rental company’s refueling policy? Or do you follow Clark Howard's advice and always return your rental with a full tank of gas?

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Flirting, My Employee Left a Mess and Other Questions

Since one of my favorite things to do is to answer your questions, I've selected a few recent blog search questions/phrases to provide answers. I hope you enjoy them:

How to get my boyfriend to work?
If your boyfriend doesn’t want to work there is nothing you can do including bribery, coercion, manipulation or trickery to get him to work. If he were to find a job and lacks real motivation, he will most likely quit or be terminated in a few months anyway.

I lost my job. Should I cancel my gym membership?
Can you cover your monthly bills and still afford the gym membership? Is there a termination fee? If yes, consider keeping it. If no, you better cancel. Without a job you will have time to run, walk, ride your bike or find some other form of free exercise you can do from home. Also, you will save gas money working out at home rather than driving to the gym.

Do all girls like to flirt?
No, not all girls.

Why do older women flirt with me?
You are a hottie, they enjoy watching you blush or both.

My employee left a mess:
My boss has a theory that no matter how good the employee a skeleton or two always surfaces after they leave the company. If your employee left a "huge" mess they most likely checked out mentally several months ago. You should have been monitoring their work more closely, and then performed a thorough review of any unfinished work once they submitted their notice. You cannot pursue legal action against them, withhold their final paycheck or force them to return and clean up their mess. Your best bet is to bring in temporary employees to assist, hire an able and competent replacement as soon as possible or come up with a plan to delegate this mess to existing staff.

Did Coco Chanel do an internship?
Nope - there was no internship for Coco Chanel. She learned to sew at the orphanage where she was raised. She got into fashion by becoming a milliner and opening up her own hat shop.

That was fun. If you have a question you would like featured please email savvyworkinggal@gmail.com. I will do my best to post an answer.

 

The good news is both sides are talking about the deficit

In a meeting with our financial planner, I asked how he thought the outcome of the presidential election would affect the U.S. economy. I was surprised by his answer:

At this point it is not going to matter a whole lot which guy gets elected. 

He is just happy to hear both sides are talking about the deficit which he feels is America's biggest challenge and the sooner this election is over the better.

Speaking of the election in Terry Savage’s* article Who are the worker's dropping out of the search she wrote:

It has been estimated that roughly $6 billion will be spent on the presidential elections in 2012. Couldn’t some of that money be spent more wisely — on creative ideas to generate economic growth? For that’s what it will take to get people back to work — a spurt of economic growth and activity that will create the demand for products and service — and jobs for the people who provide them.

Right now, the only people with secure jobs seem to be the advertising agencies that create those outrageous commercials for both political parties. Money down the drain. And that’s the Savage Truth.

This is just crazy.  6 billion dollars is being spent to clog my mailbox with fliers that immediately go in the trash, my phone with messages I instantly delete, my radio with advertisements that force me to change the station and my TV with commercials I don’t watch because we DVR our shows and skip through them or mute them.  What a waste.  I agree with our financial planner this election can’t be over soon enough.

*I am embarrassed to say while reading Terry Savage's article in our local 50 Plus newspaper I assumed she was a male. Ugh! Once again I am guilty of gender bias.    

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Balpreet Kaur: A Strong Woman

I first learned of Balpreet Kaur and her story on CNN in Jodi Lobozzo Aman’s blog post If We Responded This Way We Would Change The World.

Balpreet Kaur is a Sikh woman who has visible facial hair and wears a turban. Two college students took her picture and posted it on reddit under the caption, “I’m not sure what to conclude from this.” The photo elicited comments from those who teased to those who were disgusted by the post. After hearing of the taunt Balpreet Kaur posted the following response on reddit:

"Hey, guys. This is Balpreet Kaur, the girl from the picture. I actually didn't know about this until one of my friends told on facebook. If the OP wanted a picture, they could have just asked and I could have smiled :)

However, I'm not embarrassed or even humiliated by the attention [negative and positive] that this picture is getting because, it's who I am. Yes, I'm a baptized Sikh woman with facial hair. Yes, I realize that my gender is often confused and I look different than most women. However, baptized Sikhs believe in the sacredness of this body - it is a gift that has been given to us by the Divine Being [which is genderless, actually] and, must keep it intact as a submission to the divine will. Just as a child doesn't reject the gift of his/her parents, Sikhs do not reject the body that has been given to us. By crying 'mine, mine' and changing this body-tool, we are essentially living in ego and creating separateness between ourselves and the divinity within us.

By transcending societal views of beauty, I believe that I can focus more on my actions. My attitude and thoughts and actions have more value in them than my body because I recognize that this body is just going to become ash in the end, so why fuss about it? When I die, no one is going to remember what I looked like, heck, my kids will forget my voice, and slowly, all physical memory will fade away. However, my impact and legacy will remain: and, by not focusing on the physical beauty, I have time to cultivate those inner virtues and hopefully, focus my life on creating change and progress for this world in any way I can. So, to me, my face isn't important but the smile and the happiness that lie behind the face are. :-)
 
 So, if anyone sees me at OSU, please come up and say hello. I appreciate all of the comments here, both positive and less positive because I've gotten a better understanding of myself and others from this. Also, the yoga pants are quite comfortable and the Better Together t-shirt is actually from Interfaith Youth Core, an organization that focuses on storytelling and engagement between different faiths. :)

I hope this explains everything a bit more, and I apologize for causing such confusion and uttering anything that hurt anyone."The original reddit poster was then shamed into writing an apology.  

There is so much going on here from the original reddit poster who goes by the handle “european_douchebag’s keyboard courage, to Balpreet Kaur using this incident as an opportunity to educate us about her religion to Jodi Lobozzo Aman’s post highlighting Balpreet’s ability to dissolve conflict rather than feed it. 

I want to focus on Balpreet Kaur herself; a calm, courageous and strong women. In this age of get injections or get lost and the quest for beauty even if it hurts it is refreshing to hear of a woman who truly accepts herself.

I can’t help but wonder if more people, including myself, aspired to Balpreet Kaur's standard of inner beauty and wisdom how much better off our society would be. Balpreer Kaur is an inspiration and an amazing example of a strong woman.

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Be Strong Challenge: September Update

On my 50th birthday I challenged myself to become a stronger person in my 50th year. This challenge got off to a slow start due to a bout with insomnia, but I think I made up for it in September. Here is a roundup of my progress:
 

Be Strong:

I named my challenge Be Strong and set a few goals:

1 - To continue to work on knowing myself.
2 - To work on both my physical and mental strength.
3 - Each month I need to come up with one activity or challenge that leads to more effective communication, since becoming a better communicator is my ultimate goal.

I realize I have to start with baby steps. If I step too far out of my comfort zone too soon – with a public speaking class or by joining toastmasters - I know myself well enough to know I will abandon this project altogether.

 

Push-up challenge:

I joined a push-up challenge. Each day I am to do 1 more push up than I did the day before. I’ve split them into two sessions and am now up to 17 at one time, with a total of 25 in one day. This is more push-ups than I’ve ever done before in one day. A couple of years ago I stopped working out my upper body entirely when I injured my shoulder. After the shoulder pain subsided I experienced a clicking sound and pain in my elbows while working out with resistance bands, so I was leery of push-ups. My elbows do click occasionally while doing push-ups, but there is no pain and since I began this challenge my elbows no longer click when working out with resistance bands.

 

Clean my desk challenge:

I challenged myself to clean my desk at work. My desk is still not perfectly clean and organized, but I have made progress. I completed several outstanding projects and now spend time each day tackling new paperwork so it doesn’t pile up. I also organize my desk before leaving on Fridays which has done wonders for my Monday morning mood. Thanks to all who left comments and suggestions on my post, you’ve helped keep me motivated.

 

I attended a seminar on assertive communication:

The seminar’s presenter teaches this course at a local college, so she attempted to pack an entire semester’s worth of knowledge into one hour. She did an excellent job of describing the six different types of motivators (a positive or negative need for power, achievement or affiliation) and how to communicate with each type. I referred to one of these communication techniques in my post Do I listen to my manager or the boss. For further study on communication between the sexes, she suggests reading Deborah Tannen’s You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation, That's Not What I Meant!: How Conversational Style Makes or Breaks Relationships and Talking from 9 to 5: Women and Men at Work.
 

I read inspiring blog posts:

I read Always the Planner's post What Kind of Life do I Want? where she recommended viewing a TEDx video by Priya Parker and watched Marie Forleo’s video How to Reprogram your Subconscious Mind to Get What You Really Want on the same day. Both helped my realize the one thing I want is to be as physically active in my life for as long as possible; not being able to walk or wear shoes will severely impact that life. Lately, I’ve experiencing foot pain during most physical activity including walking and while wearing shoes. I decided it was time I considered foot surgery, so I made an appointment with an orthopedic surgeon the very next day.

 

I visited an orthopedic surgeon to inquire about bunion surgery:

I learned the bunion on my right foot is between moderate and severe and the left one isn’t too bad. The surgeon doesn’t feel I need immediate surgery, but made it clear my foot will never get any better. Recovery from this surgery will require me to be on crutches for 5-6 weeks, which rules out having the surgery in winter. The last thing I need is to walk with crutches down a hill to my unattached garage on snow and ice. If possible I'd like to put off surgery until fall of next year.  In the mean time I’ve been wearing the flattest, widest shoes I own and modifying workout activities (especially lunges) that bother my feet.

 

I have added one small challenge for October:

I have challenged myself to stop eating the popcorn from my company’s popcorn machine. First, the popcorn is really for customers not employees. Second, it is covered in salt and is most likely made with the cheapest, unhealthiest oil they can buy. For the rest of this year I am challenging myself to not eat anymore of this popcorn.

That is it for September. October is going to be a short month, since my husband and I are traveling to California for a ten day vacation. This will be the longest vacation I’ve taken, since I began work in 1986. I am not sure how active I will be on this blog or if I will be able to maintain a clean desk during October – perhaps that will be the ultimate challenge.

What makes you feel strong?
If you have a Be Strong suggestion or are interested in writing a guest post about how you've achieved greater strength please leave a comment below or email me at savvyworkinggal@gmail.com.

Coco Chanel: The Legend and The Life

Motivation for reading:
Coco Chanel: The Legend and the Life was Brava Magazine's September pick for their book and wine club:

While Coco Chanel’s legacy is an impressive empire, Gabrielle Chanel’s life wasn’t always so divine. Delve into a rags-to-riches tale to find how Chanel made herself into a style legend, and discover what she had to hide along the way to ascend to the top.

Since Coco Chanel was one of the women I wanted to study for my Be Strong Challenge I decided it was time I read this book.

My Thoughts:
Prior to reading Coco Chanel: The Legend and the Life, I knew little about Chanel’s life other than she was the famous French fashion designer who gave us the little black dress and Chanel No. 5 perfume. Her life is actually a fascinating study of a woman born poor, illegitimate and raised in an orphanage who transformed herself into one of the most powerful fashion designers of the 20th century.

Telling Chanel’s story though was not an easy task. As part of Chanel’s transformation she covered up much of her past and told enormous lies about her life. She even changed her birth date on her passport. Picardie sorted through personal observations and interviews with surviving friends, employees and relatives; Chanel’s abandoned memoirs and tabloid rumors to give us an accurate portrayal of Coco Chanel’s life. When in doubt Picardie presents all of the known facts along with the rumors then gives her interpretation of the truth.

Coco Chanel could be both impulsive and reckless, but nothing could stop her from going after what she wanted. In addition to being a talented creator she was also a savvy business woman. Take note of her strengths, other than sheer talent, I feel attributed to her success:

She understood the relationship between money and independence:
After learning her lover Boy Capel had deposited bank securities as a guarantee for her business and overdrafts she told her head seamstress:

“I am not here to have fun, or to spend money like water, I am here to make a fortune.” A year later, Chanel was earning sufficient money to have no more need of Capel’s financial support, and she rejoiced in her independence. (Pg. 74)

She had a hard-headed business sense:
Here are the final snippets of an argument Chanel had with Mme Bataille, the woman who did the embroidery for the house, over price on the finished pieces of a crimson crepe de Chine blouse:

“The blouse is embroidered with real Chinese silk, one kilo of which costs at present…”

“I don’t care what kind of silk you use – real or artificial,” continued Mlle Chanel; “it is none of my business. What I want is to sell the blouse. As it is, it is too expensive; therefore you must charge less for it. That’s all.” (Pg. 140)

She understood the importance of a network:
Chanel was well-connected listing Winston Churchill and Pablo Picasso as friends.

Vera Bate, a friend of Bendor the 2nd Duke of Westminster’s and others in the small world of the British aristocracy, who was working for Chanel less as a model (though she was a handsome, statuesque figure in her Chanel outfits) than as a facilitator whose social connections were invaluable. I have employed society people, not to indulge my vanity or to humiliate them (I would take other forms of revenge, suppose I was seeking them), but … because they were useful to me and they got around Paris working on my behalf. (Pg. 162) 

She had a talent for friendship, in spite of her occasional flashes of malice. (Pg. 206)

She was an adept conversationalist:
I marveled at Chanel’s ability to think on her feet while dining with Malcolm Muggeridge, a British intelligence officer in Paris after France’s WWII liberation. Chanel had had a relationship with Hans Gunther von Dincklage, a German Nazi military officer during the war and was suspected of collaboration. The dinner was a combination of social visit and intelligence gathering for MI6:

Afterword’s, Muggeridge tried to draft some sort of report on Chanel, but realized that there was nothing to say. As he reflected upon his evening, he wondered whether a more rigorous agent might have discovered further details: ‘how she managed to get to and from Spain during the occupation, whether she also offered free scent to the German troops, who were her clients, associates and intimates during those years. Alas, all I had done was to listen; fascinated and even a little awed, at the masterly way she skinned and harpooned the braided F (the MI6).” (Pg. 267)

Vanity Fair sums up Chanel’s strengths perfectly when they nominated her to their 1931 Hall of Fame:

The magazine declared its reasons for doing so in a brief yet trenchant paragraph: Because she was the first to apply the principles of modernism to dressmaking; because she numbers among her friends the most famous men of France; because she combines a shrewd business sense with enormous personal prodigality and a genuine if erratic enthusiasm for the arts; and finally because she came to America to make a laudable attempt to introduce chic to Hollywood. (Pg. 213)

In the end Chanel’s life was sad and lonely. She took morphine to help her fall asleep. She never married and bore no children of her own (unless you believe the rumor that her nephew Andre Palasse was actually her son). Here is a conversation Gabrielle Labrunie Chanel’s niece recalls with her Aunt:

‘A, simple life, with a husband and children – a life with the people you love – that is the real life.’ And yet Gabrielle could also see the manner in which Chanel had cut her own familial ties, to set herself free. ‘She battled for her freedom – to be free to drive your car, to ride a bicycle, to walk to work, you had to be able to forget about what you are wearing. Forgetting is part of freedom – and so she was free to forget her past. And even if she did not forget it, she put her memories somewhere where they did not weigh too heavily on her – just like the clothes she made, that were so light that they seemed to weigh nothing at all.’ (Pg. 315)

Bottom line:
I thoroughly enjoyed learning more about Coco Chanel’s life and career. I did find the book frustrating at times when the truth of particular details of Chanel’s life remained unclear – this is not the fault of Justine Picardie, but of Chanel herself who lied and covered up so much of her life. I felt Picardie did an excellent job of researching the truth and presenting only the facts. I also enjoyed the book's numerous photos. If you have an interest in Coco Chanel, her life, her career or her creations I highly recommend reading this book. And in case you are curious:

Karen Eigenberger of Steve’s Wine-Beer-Spirits paired Clos du Moulin Aux Moines Bourgogne Pinot Noir as the wine to sip while reading Coco Chanel: The Legend and the Life:

A toast to Coco Chanel! Perhaps thanks to her formative years in the Auvergne region of France, Coco Chanel's favorite food was fresh caviar with red wine; she it ate it a few times almost every day. In keeping with the style of wines from this region, raise a glass of Clos du Moulin Aux Moines Bourgogne Pinot Noir from the Burgundy region of France. Silky, complex, refined and elegant, much like the fashion icon herself. ($24)

If you enjoyed this post you may also like:
Is a book about Marie Antoinette's fashion choices really a book every woman should Read?
Biography of Fannie Lou Hamer: A Study in Strength and Leadership
I've had my fill of Mary Kay Ash
My Life in France

Do I listen to my manager or the boss?

I received the following question via Google search:

Do I listen to my manager or the boss?

What is happening here?
When a boss, who I assume in this scenario, is the company’s owner or CEO, counteracts a manager’s decision he either believes the manager’s directive was flawed or he has a negative need to control situations. In a perfect world if a manager is incompetent a boss should deal with that manager directly rather than coerce an employee into overstepping their manager. Nothing will ruin an employee/manager relationship faster than being perceived as going over your manager’s head. Let's assume this boss has a negative power need to control situations.

What should this employee do?
Ultimately an employee answers to the boss, so you will have to listen to him or her, but you should talk to your manager first. I suggest the “I perceive,” “I feel,” “I need” communication technique I learned at an assertive communication seminar:

I perceive:
In situations where you’ve instructed me to do xyz, Mr. Boss has told me to do abc.

I feel:
I am confused and unsure how I should proceed.

I need:
I need you to understand my predicament and to help me determine which approach I should take.

If the boss continues to overrule your manager’s decisions have the same conversation with him. Your boss and manager need to work this out and stop placing you in this position. 

Why I am cleaning my desk?

I admit it I have a messy desk at work.  It isn’t the messiest desk at my company – my manager’s desk is much, much worse, but it is definitely messy.  What is this mess made up of?  Uncompleted work.   As I work my way through my in-box anything that requires a fair amount of investigation and isn’t immediately pressing ends up in a stack on my desk.  I don’t file this paperwork because it doesn’t need to be filed it needs to be completed.

Why has my messy desk suddenly become a problem?

It projects a bad image:
According to Penelope Trunk in her book Brazen Careerist: The New Rules for Success Brazen Careerist:

If your desk is a mess you look overwhelmed and less competent. People with messy offices are perceived as less efficient, less organized and less imaginative than people with clean desks. (Pg. 161)

The owners of our company aren’t too concerned about our mess because we always get our work done, but it does look bad to outsiders.  I have heard more than one person make a comment about my boss’s messy desk including our banker who is clearly someone we need to impress.  My co-workers also make comments about my boss losing their paperwork.  When he isn’t around they sneak into his office and search for missing items.  I wouldn’t be surprised if this happens when I am not around as well.  I have also had outsiders make comments about my desk.

I am inefficient:
How could I not be?  I lose things. If someone puts a piece of paper on top of one of my stacks then someone else puts another piece on top of that one the original paper is sure to be buried. Also, when I need a clear work place I scoop up stacks of papers and move them sometimes mixing projects together. Then I waste valuable time searching for missing paperwork.  I also lose my stapler, letter opener, ruler and favorite pen frequently.  

My messy desk causes stress:
I am tired of working in this environment.  My mess is a constant reminder of how far behind I am.  One of my employees loves to remind me of things I haven’t completed.  When she does this I just point to one of my piles and say yeah I haven’t gotten to it yet. 

Be Strong challenge #2: Clean my desk
As part of my Be Strong project I am challenging myself to clean my desk.  Each week I need to complete one or two of the outstanding projects on my desk. I actually started this a couple of weeks ago and have made some progress.  Each completed project empowers me and reduces my stress a little bit.  I am also making an extra effort not to add more paper to my piles. Spending just an extra ten minutes with my mail each day seems to make a difference and will surely save me a lot of aggravation down the road.
 
How about you?  Do you have a messy or clean desk?  Does having a messy desk bother you or bog you down?

How to Stay Healthy When You Sit All Day

Today's post is written by Joan Vernikos  the author of Sitting Kills, Moving Heals: How Everyday Movement Will Prevent Pain, Illness, and Early Death - and Exercise Alone Won't. I wrote about her book here.  This post provides additional information on how to stay healthy when you sit all day. 

Data continues to show that health in the US is deteriorating. Recent studies have supported my research at NASA that this can be attributed primarily to too much sitting.  As a busy working woman this might seem like a problem you don’t have - you are busy with your job, may manage a household and have children, try to find time to work out, and seemingly juggle responsibilities constantly.

But when you really look, how much of your time do you spend sitting? Between commuting and running errands in your car, sitting at a desk or in meetings, in front of a TV or a computer at home? Remaining fit and healthy becomes tricky. Long hours of sitting are shown to increase risk of breast and colon cancer, obesity and diabetes and poor balance even in children. Surprisingly, this is the case even in people who exercise daily. Sitting uninterrupted is just a killer. Fortunately, there are solutions.

My research at NASA was about keeping astronauts healthy, about what happens to the human body when we live without gravity or when we reduce its effect by lying down. What we found is that things happen to your body when you sit for long stretches that are very similar to the negative impacts of being in micro-gravity in space. Exercise was not necessarily the answer.  I found that it has more to do with how many times you get up during the day. You don’t need to stand all day either but rather to stand up often.  My research showed that if you must sit (and of course you do) it’s necessary to break it up, getting up at least 35 times a day. That works out to every 20 to 30 minutes. And when you are sitting, notice your posture and ensure that you sit up straight so that your body is working against gravity as it pulls you downward. I am amazed to see groups of women walking by – that’s good – with their head bent over looking at their feet – not so good. It’s a recipe to stoop as you age. There are many ways to use gravity during the day. Play, dance, garden, roll out dough, take the stairs, stretch, swim, have fun.

Astronauts age 10 times faster in space. Don’t be like them by sitting too much of your life.

“Be Strong!” Challenge

I mentioned in my post I'm 50 Years Old and Still Can't Think on my Feet that in my 50th year I was challenging myself to become a stronger person. The start of this project was delayed due to a bout of insomnia I was dealing with during July and August. With only 3-5 hours of sleep per night it was all I could do just to make it through the workday let alone work on a strength challenge. Revanche of A Gai Shan Life was even kind enough to write Insomnia: the old companion a post about how she conquered her own insomnia. Then as mysteriously as the insomnia came on it left and I’m sleeping better. In the mean time I’ve been reading a couple of books on insomnia and will share any lessons or remedies that work for me in future posts. One thing I now know for sure – I will never “Be Strong” if I can’t get a handle on my insomnia.

To help give my challenge kick-start I discovered a great article on Building Inner Strength by Ran Zilca on Psychology Today. It is so good I have to share.

Zilca defines being strong as:

A strong person has great capability at facing challenges. Being strong means having the resources, the mental skills, and the physical capabilities to confront difficulties of all kinds. When you are strong, you have the ample excess of energy and stamina, so that when facing a challenge that depletes you of energy and inner strength, you still have enough left in you to act.

He then gives us some initial things to think about when starting to build inner strength:

1. Strength is the opposite of aggression:
Strong individuals do not need to act aggressively because they feel that they have the power and skills to take over the details of a situation and bring it to a close. Aggression is a means of covering weakness. 

2. Mental and physical strength cannot be separated:
To build inner strength you must build both physical endurance and mental muscle.

3. The first step is identifying your natural strengths:
I have already made some progress identifying my strengths. Please see my posts:

Discovering my Strengths
Who are you meant to be
Determining my Myers-Briggs Score

4. Mental strength is harder to track:
Zilca recommends taking notes. I don’t need to take notes I have this blog to record my progress.

He closes with “Be strong!” a phrase I am now adopting as the title of my challenge.

My “Be Strong!” project begins this week. My first task is going to be to take part in the push up challenge I’ve joined on twitter. It involves -

Doing 1 more push up every day than you did the day before. I started last week with 6 and am now up to 10. If you would like to participate or follow along, the twitter hash tag is #pushupchallenge.

This is a good challenge for me since one of the reasons I put off taking a yoga class (and probably why I keep injuring myself) is because I have almost no upper body strength. The yoga instructor at my gym loves planks especially side planks, in the past when I attended PIYO I used to spend a good portion of the class sitting on my butt or laying on my mat.  

I have a few ideas for future “Be Strong” tasks, but am looking for additional activities or challenges. If you have a recommendation or are interested in writing a guest post about how you achieved greater inner strength please leave a comment below or email me at savvyworkinggal@gmail.com.