Stop Using the Fax Machine if You Want to Appear Relevant

This morning I read a great post from Bob Lowry of A Satisfying Retirement. Bob recently read Graeme Thomson’s book George Harrison: Behind the Locked Door a biography of George Harrison. In his post, Lowry writes about the similarities he shares with Harrison. Here is the parallel Lowry makes between his career and Harrisons:

My tie to this story and his life? For the last 6-8 years of my radio consulting business did not evolve. I stayed with the same message, the same ideas, and the same approach that had proved so successful for me through the 1980's into the mid 90's. Even though my industry had changed dramatically, I stopped learning and listening. I didn't change my message or my methods. As a result, my business slowly slipped away until, in the same year that George Harrison died, I found myself faced with retirement, several years before I would have felt financially more secure. I had been passed by. I had stopped changing and found my approach irrelevant.

This post got me thinking about how to stay relevant in the workplace. My company has lost several employees this year to early retirement. When asked why they were leaving, they all responded the same way; their jobs were too stressful and they felt they couldn’t keep up with the changing technology. They weren't forced to retire, but I did hear grumblings about them and their failure to embrace change in meetings. Some managers had recommended phasing these employees out. Fortunately, other managers knew their value and protected them.

How do you know you are becoming irrelevant?

You still use the fax machine:
Last week during a meeting with our bank’s relationship manager, she recommended we stop receiving wire confirmations via fax. This service was costing our company $15 per fax while an email confirmation was free. This led to a conversation about how the fax machine was obsolete, expensive, inefficient etc. Our bank account manager has even contemplated removing his fax number from his business card. He only gets a couple of faxes a month and they are credit confirmations. I immediately knew why this was happening. His clients hadn’t updated their credit reference sheet which still listed fax numbers. (I may be one of them).

My former employee who despised and fought change with a passion was the only employee in our department to still use the fax machine on a regular basis. Every time I walked past the fax machine I’d pick up her faxes then drop them off at her desk. Her replacement refuses to use the fax machine. She also dislikes voice mail and instructs almost everyone who calls her to email her in the future.

You can’t find files after you save them:
Recently my company transferred our computer's data to a new server. During the process our IT manager complained about one of our employees, “She never takes classes to improve her skills or learn better ways to do her job.” His gripe: she didn’t know how to use windows and hadn’t been saving her Microsoft files to the server. I knew right away what she was doing wrong, since I used to do the same thing. When saving files that had been emailed to her she just hit save rather than moving the files to her documents folder and then saving them. My former employee from above used to do the same thing and I and my co-workers were constantly helping her find her files.

After this conversation I suggested our outside computer consultant conduct a class on windows for our administrative staff. He wasn’t keen on the idea saying everyone younger than 45 would be bored. Since most of the employees that struggled with windows have now left the company, this class is now on hold.

If you struggle with windows I suggest you take a class. They offer them at most tech schools, also some libraries and employment agencies offer them at minimal cost or for free.

You are still using the original version of your company’s software; new employees are no longer trained on this software and it doesn’t have the latest software enhancements.
All of the employees who retired early were using the old, outdated version of our company’s software.

You don’t know how to use pivot tables in excel:
A few weeks ago one of my gym buddies, who works in health care, approached me at the gym to tell me she had started using pivot tables and that she loves them. “Hmm… pivot tables doesn’t that have something to do with graphing.” She told me this knowing I’m an accountant and assuming I used them. I said something like great! Then went back to my workout. Afterwards I found an 8-hour class offered by my professional organization on pivot tables and considered signing up, but it is offered the same day as my scheduled doctor’s appointment. You know what a hassle it is to reschedule doctor's appointments, so I didn't sign-up. Someday my department will be filled with 25-year olds whispering behind my back, “She doesn’t know how to use pivot tables.”

Speaking of irrelevant, I still have blogspot in my blog’s URL:
How long have I been blogging? Too long to not have my own domain name. I have an excuse though – I want a domain I can continue to grow and work with throughout the remainder of my blogging career. This year I’m trying out different topics other than work and careers to see what I am comfortable with. With this post – on relevancy – I feel I’m one step closer.

How do you stay relevant?

Travel the World in Books "Cuba" Selection

For Nonfiction November, Tanya of Mom's Small Victories and I paired up to read Carlos Eire’s book Waiting for Snow in Havana: Confessions of a Cuban Boy. We were also reading this book as the “Cuba” selection for our Travel the World in Books Reading Challenge.

What is Waiting for Snow in Havana: Confessions of a Cuban Boy about?
Triggered by the Elian Gonzales affair Carlos Eire, one of the 14,000 children airlifted out of Cuba in 1962 – exiled from his family, his country and his own childhood by the revolution has written a memoir about his childhood growing up in Cuba.

Carlos Eire was born into a privileged Cuban family. His father is a wealthy judge who believes he is a reincarnated Louis XVI and that his mother is Marie Antoinette. Carlos’s days are filled with private schools, birthday parties, movies and swimming pools. He shares story after story of his childhood antics stealing toy soldiers, lighting off firecrackers, throwing rocks, breadfruit and almonds, while taunting the underprivileged, lizards and a chained monkey.

His idyllic childhood comes to an end when Fidel Castro ousts President Batista. Christmas is made illegal, he is no longer allowed to view his favorite movie, his neighbors and relatives are forced to turn over their businesses and life savings to the state and his cousin and uncle have been arrested. Fearing her sons are in danger his mother ultimately sends them to the US. 

My Thoughts:
Carlos Eire’s descriptions of Cuba are exquisite. I was reminded of my Caribbean vacations and could easily picture the turquoise water and feel the warm sun. I also have a better understanding of Cuban life pre-and post-revolution, the Bay of Pigs incident and Castro’s idea of communism. I had no idea 14,000 children refugees were sent to the US without their parents prior to reading this book or how difficult it was for these children to become acclimated to life in the U.S. once here.

Two of Carlos’s observations about differences between his life in Cuba and the U.S. I found interesting are:

Why his parents had so much free time:

Rearing three children of my own has made me wonder about my parents and the lives they led. Especially because my wife Jane, and I have done it without relatives, nannies, or baby-sitters of any kind. My parents had one nanny for each child, a maid to do all the housework, one grandmother, one great-aunt and one aunt in the house.

No wonder my dad could type labels for each of his objects, make kites, referee rock fights and take us car surfing. No wonder my mom could make us costumes for parties and spend so much of her day designing and making clothes. There wasn’t even a lawn to mow. Plenty of tiles and plenty of canteros, or planting beds, full of foliage and flowers, but no lawn. How I’ve envied them sometimes, my parents, especially after three hours of mowing. All that time they had on their hands. (Pgs. 158-159)

His skin color changed in the US:

They’d been right after all, those who told me that dark food couldn’t turn you into an African. What they didn’t know was that it would take only one brief plan ride to turn me from a white boy into a spic. And I’m reminded of it every time I have to fill out a form that lists “Hispanic” as a race, distinct from “white” or “Caucasian.” (Pg. 160)

I still can't understand why Louis XVI chose to stay behind. Did he really prefer his collections and Cuba over his wife and children?  Or did he believe Castro would be overthrown and his family would eventually come home? I don't think Eire knows for sure himself, but he does change his last name to Eire, his mother's maiden name, once settled in the U.S, so he obviously didn't forgive him.

Unfortunately, this book tends to drag. Eire writes his story based on memory rather than chronologically, so at times you are not quite sure if he is in Cuba or the US or if it's pre-Castro or after Castro. Plus, it seems Eire feels the need to confess every one of his boyhood sins. I became bored with these antics after a while and feel the story would have been better if he'd left a few of them out.

Bottom line:
Despite its flaws, Waiting for Snow in Havana: Confessions of a Cuban Boy was a good “Cuba” selection for my Travel the World in Books Reading Challenge. I recommend this book if you enjoy coming-of-age memoirs about boys or are looking for a book from an insider that takes place during Castro’s Revolution. If you prefer books heavy on history or politics I’d probably skip this one.
 
Have you read or can you recommend any books that take place in Cuba?

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Esthetician Interview - Q & A with The Esthetic Goddess

After reading Susie of The Esthetic Goddess's post What I Have Learned (So Far) As An Esthetician, I knew I had to interview her about her career.  In the following interview Susie provides an insider’s look into her career as an esthetician while offering advice and tips to help the consumer. Enjoy:  

I have been a licensed esthetician for over 10 years in a wonderful medical spa. When I go to work every day I get to do facials, chemical peels, micro current, skin tightening treatments, and micro dermabrasion. My job is not only fun but rewarding and I love sharing what I have learned in the esthetics field!

What is an esthetician?
An esthetician is someone who works on the skin. This can include facials, waxing, chemical peels, body wraps, make-up and lasers. Estheticians cannot diagnose or treat skin diseases. If I see something suspicious on a client I recommend them to my favorite dermatologist who I know will take good care of them.

What motivated you to become an esthetician?
I started getting chemical peels at the age of 28. I thought it was so cool that just by applying something to someone’s skin you could change their skin tone and texture for the better.

When I was 37 my 17 year marriage came to an end. I had always been a stay at home mom and need a career. I had such a love for esthetics that it was a meant to be for me! We have no esthetic schooling around me so I drove 180 miles a day for school. I was extremely determined to make it happen and it was extremely worth it in the end!

What kind of experience and preparation helped you the most?
I feel like I got an exceptionally education from my esthetics teacher. She was a tough teacher. At first she didn’t even like me. (Hello?! I’m really lovable!) She gave me the hardest clients to work on and I was determined (There’s that word again. It describes me well!) To not let her break me. By the time I graduated her heart softened. She’d seen me working hard and exceeding education wise. She adored me by the end and I her! I owe so much to her. I felt very well prepared when I graduated.

In Illinois where I live Estheticians are required to have 750 hours of schooling. Once you graduate you have to get a state license by passing a written exam. After passing you can go on to more advanced training since you only learn basics in school. Every two years you need to complete 10 hours of continuing educating. This is for Illinois. All states have different requirements for estheticians.

What do you like best about your work?
Helping clients gain confidence! When a client comes to me with sun damage, acne, wrinkles, or whatever the skin problem is. I not only will help treat their skin but teach them what they need to be doing at home to maintain their skin in between the time till I see them again for another treatment. My goal is to always get my client skin looking great without make up.

What is your biggest headache?
Clients who think everything can be corrected in one treatment. It took a long time for their skin to get to the condition it is so it will take time to get it in good shape. Sometimes it can take several months. If you want your complexion looking beautiful for a wedding, reunion, etc. then start working on it a year before the special day.

What are the important personal qualities or abilities necessary for a person to be a successful esthetician?
Patience is a biggie! Not just treatment wise but you must have patience with the client themselves. For many of them they have never been taught to use the proper skin care. Often times I will baby step them into using the correct skin care. Starting with a good cleanser and working from there. This way they will not be overwhelmed with a lot of products at once.

I also think you must always be professional. I have a ton of fun with my clients but I would never bad mouth my completion. Even if a client is telling me of a bad experience they had with them.

Always do your job with integrity. Don’t sell a client a product or treatment you know will not work for them.

For someone who is considering this field, what would be you advice?
Find what you love in this field and specialize in it and never ever stop learning!

What do you wish you would have known before entering this field?
I can honestly say I have no surprises when I enter this field of work. I went into it with my eyes wide open and have never regretted it for a second!

How much can an esthetician expect to earn?
As a licensed esthetician you can make anywhere from $20,000-$50,000. It will all depend on experience and were you are working as well as what field you’re in. Working in a medical spa will pay more than working in a in a hair salon. You can also work from your own home or become a make-up artist. Salary will also depend on geo graphics. Do you live in a small town or big city? There are so many different variables.

Are there any scams or pitfalls to watch out for (phony opportunities, uncomfortable or scary situations, etc.)?
Oh there’s a ton of skin care out there that doesn’t really work. That’s why I will try out products for 3 months when trying a new product line. You cannot expect skin care to change your skin in 2 weeks and if they advertise that I would be very leery of that company. You also have to be careful of salesman selling machines. Lasers, skin tightening, microderm machines or any machine really. They all have limitations but sales people will say anything sometimes to make a sale. Not all sales people of course but they better have clinical studies to back up what they are claiming.

You mention on your blog that this is an ever changing field, what is the biggest change you’ve seen over the years?
There are definitely more machines then ever out now. So many different types of lasers and you can treat everything from sun damage to sagging skin to wrinkles with them. This is why it’s so important to stay on your toes. You have to figure out what really works and how well it will work for your clients.

I am a 51-year old woman with extremely oily yet sensitive skin. I recently noticed fine lines on my forehead and in the corner of my eyes. I have a drawer full of free samples of over-the-counter anti-aging products which I never remember to use. When I do remember, I either end up with a rash or don’t see any noticeable difference. If I were to visit your salon what would you recommend for my skin?
First and foremost we would sit down and discuss everything you are using on your skin and figure out what you should be using. Many times client believe there skin to be sensitive when it truly is not. It may have to do with two products they are using that are interacting with each other or it is an anti-aging ingredient, like retinol or glycolic acid, which when you first start using causes your skin to get red, itchy, or flaky. When used correctly, your skin will get acclimated to the products and all that will stop. After that we would discuss some of the treatments I can do on you to help address these issues. Like a chemical peel to help with fine lines and your oily skin. You may also be a candidate for the Venus Freeze treatment which helps tighten the skin. However I think your best bet is Botox to erase those wrinkles. Botox is a muscle relaxer. It’s perfect for forehead lines and crow’s-feet. I have been getting Botox done for over 20 years and think its da bomb!!

Also, I know a woman who had a skin treatment to remove acne scars from her chin at a prestige skin-salon. She ended up with second degree burns on her face and a settlement of $3,000 to pay her medical expenses. I’m not sure what happened; if a mistake was made with the procedure or if she didn’t understand the potential side-effects. What questions should consumers ask or potential problems should we be aware of before choosing a skin-treatment product or procedure?     
This really is dependent on the type of treatment. I think the biggest thing for the client would be to know how often they are preforming this procedure. What kind of training was involved and what is the reputation of the facility they are planning on going to.

Is there anything else you would like readers to know about yourself, skin care or your career?
If anyone is think of going into esthetics it is an incredible rewarding field and I feel blessed every day to not only have a wonderful clientele but to work in a medical spa with the a fantastic group of people ever!

Where can we find you?
If anyone has any concern about their skin I am always happy to help. I can be found at http://www.estheticgoddess.com.

Why I Mute TV Commercials

This month, The Savvy Reader Book Club, is reading Debora L. Spar’s book Wonder Women: Sex, Power, and the Quest for Perfection. Today is the first in a series of posts I will write throughout the month inspired by this book.

One of the first points Spar, who is roughly the same age as me, makes in Wonder Women is how the perfume commercials we grew up with in the 70’s shaped the visions of our future adult life. She writes:

They stuck somehow in the public consciousness, or at least in the minds of schoolgirls like me, who simply presumed that life in the grown-up world would be just like the ad for Charlie. We'd have careers to skip to, kids to adore us, and men waiting to douse us with perfume the moment we waltzed through the door. Money and great shoes only sweetened the package.

This wasn't of course, the life that our mothers were living. In 1970, only 43 percent of women worked outside the home. In upper-middle-class white families like my own, the number was slightly higher, hovering by 1974 at around 46 percent. Most of these women worked in "traditional" fields such as teaching or nursing, and they rarely wore stilettos to the job. Yet somehow, girls growing up in that era believed - thought, presumed, knew - that they would be different. That instead of replicating their mothers' suburban idylls of parent-teacher conferences and three-tiered Jell-I molds, they-we-would go the way of Charlie, enjoying children and jobs, our husbands' money and our own. And through it all, we would be smiling and singing, gracefully enjoying the combined pleasures of life. (Pg. 16)

I was astonished. I can't believe my entire life's vision had evolved from a commercial. I vividly remember watching the following Enjoli ad on TV and thinking this is the life I am going to have. I even told my friends quoting the famous line: "I can bring home the bacon. Fry it up in a pan. And never forget you're a man. Cause I'm a woman.

This wasn't the first time entire generations of women were influenced by advertisements.  In Betty Friedan's book The Feminine Mystique, Betty writes how middle-class white women in the 50's and 60's abandoned their careers so they could buy the latest carpet sweeper and cleaning cleanser. A lifestyle perpetuated by magazine editors who restricted the topics and advertisements portrayed in their magazines. Friedman had studied women’s magazines for decades and found the editorial decisions were made by men who enforced “occupation housewife.” Articles and advertisements only portrayed women as housewives. They didn’t want them to have any other ambitions than to be housewives.

Which brings me to The Reading Group Guides discussion questions for Wonder Women.  The very first question asks:

Do contemporary print and electronic publications (advertising, magazines, blogs) persist in creating impossible ideals of beauty, success, and motherhood in the name of commerce, or has this approach been tempered somewhat through the use of more realistic images and languages?

Umm... I  have to say yes.   Even ads like the following Special K commercial which urges women to shut down the fat talk leaves me feeling embarrassed about my weight:

Fortunately, I don't watch a lot of TV and when I do I either fast forward through the commercials or mute them.

What do you think:

Do contemporary print and electronic publications (advertising, magazines, blogs) persist in creating impossible ideals of beauty, success, and motherhood in the name of commerce, or has this approach been tempered somewhat through the use of more realistic images and languages? Can you site examples?

Bossypants by Tina Fey

This month The Savvy Reader Book Club read Tina Fey’s book Bossypants. I chose this book after learning it was the best book Sheryl Sandberg read last year. I was a bit apprehensive about selecting it after reading several mixed reviews; some reviewers found it hilarious while others didn’t think it was funny at all.

My thoughts:

Bossypants is funny:
It’s not the funniest book I’d ever read. Bill Bryson’s book A Walk in the Woods: Rediscovering America on the Appalachian Trailstill holds that distinction, but it was funny. This book’s humor is classic Tina Fey. If you ever watched Tina’s TV show 30 Rock you will recognize the humor. I realized Liz Lemon was Tina Fey or perhaps Tina Fey was Liz Lemon.

Tina can be a bit vulgar:
When I checked Bossypants out from the library, the librarian told me her book club didn’t like it. They thought it was too vulgar. I actually didn’t find the vulgarity to be too bad. In my opinion Caitlin Moran’s book How to Be a Woman was much worse. As you may recall her book was so crass I wasn't able to finish it. I do think if you’ve never watched 30 Rock you will find the chapter that includes dialogue of the show’s characters weird.

I’m not sure what this book is:
Bossypants is not a memoir. Tina Fey doesn’t analyze her life or provide us with insight in to who Tina Fey really is. Nor is it a career or how to book. My library classifies it as stage entertainment (whatever that means).

Tina is one of us:
I did learn the reason I like Tina Fey is because she started out like many of us. She grew up in a middle class family, had a regular childhood, felt like a misfit in college and struggles with many of the same issues we do. She is tenacious, an incredibly hard worker and has difficulty balancing work and family like most women.

I usually base the value of a nonfiction book, by how many notes I take while reading the book. Unfortunately, I didn’t take a single note from this book, but I did bookmark a couple of interesting passages. Here is a sampling:

Tina’s views on Photoshop:
Give it up. Retouching is here to stay. Technology doesn’t move backward. No society has ever de-industrialized. Which is why we’ll never turn back from Photoshop. At least with Photoshop you don’t really have to alter your body. It’s better to have a computer do it to your picture than to have a doctor do it to your face? (Pg. 161)

On luxury cruises:
Luxury cruises were designed to make something unbearable-a two-week transatlantic crossing – seem bearable. There’s no need to do it now. There are planes. You wouldn’t take a vacation where you ride a stagecoach for two months but there’s all-you-can-eat shrimp. (Pg. 100)

What she tells young women who ask for career advice:
People are going to try to trick you. To make you feel you are in competition with other women. “You’re up for a promotion. If they go with a woman, it’ll be between you and Barbara.” Don’t be fooled. You’re not in competition with other women. You’re in competition with everyone. (Pg. 88)

Her unsolicited advice to women in the workplace:
When faced with sexism or ageism or lookism or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: “Is this person in between me and what I want to do?” If the answer is no, ignore it and move on. Your energy is better used doing your work and outpacing people that way. Then when you’re in charge, don’t hire the people who were jerky to you. (Pg. 144-145)

Final thoughts:
Unlike Sheryl Sandberg, I don’t think this is the best book I’ve read this year, but I did enjoy it. I would recommend reading it if you are a fan of Tina Fey, are looking for a light read, a beach read or a palate cleanser. If you are looking for a memoir that includes an in-depth analysis of who Tina Fey is or how she became one of the funniest women in comedy you will probably be disappointed in this book.

Have you read Tina Fey’s book Bossypants? If so what were your thoughts?

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Calling Shenanigans on Three Magazine Diet Myths

Photo Credit: bravenewtraveler via Compfight cc

Americans are more insecure about their weight now than ever before. Women are conditioned from a young age to believe they are overweight just because they don’t look like the emaciated women they see on screens and in magazines. While many are not as fat as they think they are, obesity is on the rise among children and adults across the first world. Magazines only contribute to this problem while pretending to offer solutions.

Go to any grocery store aisle and take a look for yourself. The average magazine cover is designed to play on your insecurities and make you feel inferior. They are strategically located in an area where you are likely to be doing a bit of reflection about the food you are planning to eat over the next week. Catchy headlines simultaneously point out all your flaws and offer supposedly easy solutions to eliminate them. The first thing you see when you look away is a huge rack of candy bars. You have to be smart if you want to fight this level of manipulation. In my work as a nutrition consultant, I have seen firsthand how hundreds of people have been duped by magazine diet and fitness claims.  Every day, I have to talk men and women out of their preconceived notions of nutrition.

Here are three popular magazine myths that are touted as truths in the check-out line and some of the most common misconceptions my clients have:

1) Dieting is the best way to shed pounds.
Most weight-loss fads you read about in magazines involve dieting. These include guidelines on what to eat, when to eat, and foods to avoid in your daily meals. Some say you can lose weight by eating nothing but chicken soup. Some involve counting calories, having more and smaller meals throughout the day, eating only this, not eating that, etc. You can read all kinds of things in these articles, such as testimonies from people who have tried it and medical professionals who recommend it as a viable weight-loss option. Yet very few of them mention the other components to a healthy lifestyle.

News flash! You cannot lose weight and keep it off only by changing what you eat. Good health isn’t just a series of eating habits, it is a complete lifestyle. It is about more than just your body weight, too. So many people don’t even pay attention to good health until they start to lose it, and these are going to be the folks who have the hardest work to do. If you want to make big changes to your body, you will have to make equally big changes to your lifestyle. Everything from your self-image to your mental attitude and your activity level has a role to play in creating a sustainable system for maintaining good health. Those who start with a healthy diet and a good fitness regimen will find that the other components follow a bit more naturally. However you cannot expect to magically see the progress you are hoping for just by picking one easy thing to change.

It’s time to get out of the diet mindset and move towards overall nutrition—this shifts the focus from short term results to lifelong health.

2) Juice Fasts are an easy way to drop weight fast or jumpstart your nutrition.

Ask anyone, and they will probably agree that drinking nothing but juice for days on end is a great way to detox and lose weight. How many of them can tell you why they believe this? Many of my clients who have tried this saw only insignificant and temporary results in terms of weight loss. Since they have no way of knowing for sure how many toxins left their body, it just goes without saying that this must have worked.

In reality, even homemade juice contains little more than water and sugars. When you juice multiple fruits into one glass of liquid, you are taking in all the calories of each fruit with none of the good stuff. Raw fruits and veggies normally offer lots of vital nutrients and fiber. However, these tend to reside in the pulp and skin of the fruit. Guess what you are throwing into the trash when you empty the filter from your juicer? Everything your body actually needs in order to function.

Those who fast for too many days often experience symptoms of food poisoning. My clients think that this is a sign that the detox is working--the scientific community, on the other hand, agrees that this is your body’s way of telling you it is not getting what it needs and you should probably eat a sandwich. It is perfectly fine to have juice as part of your diet, and it is much better to make your juice at home than to purchase it pasteurized from the store. However, if you are looking to maintain the full nutritional value of raw fruits and veggies, try making them into smoothies instead of juice.

3) Carbs must be avoided like the plague.

Even though the Atkins Diet craze has long since passed, I bet you still find yourself irrationally avoiding carbohydrates on a regular basis. Some people have even started avoiding gluten because they think it is bad for everyone. The truth is gluten is harmless unless your body has a specific kind of intolerance, and carbs are absolutely essential to a healthy diet.

It is perfectly fine to avoid highly processed and refined carbohydrates such as pasta and bread, but not because they are carbohydrates. You should avoid them because they are high in fat and difficult for your body to process. A diet completely devoid of carbs is missing some very important components. Carbohydrates are your body’s top source of fuel. It is much easier for your body to access these fuels in natural carbohydrates such as veggies, fruit and whole grains, so it doesn’t hurt to avoid the super-processed stuff. Just don’t be fooled into thinking your body has no use for carbs and you should avoid them altogether.
 

The Bottom Line

The truth is there’s no easy way to lose weight and keep it off. The lifestyle habits that lead to weight gain and obesity are not likely to be changed without serious dedication and very hard work. However, people just don’t want to hear this. All it takes is for an “expert” of indeterminate origin to mention an easy way out, and they will completely ignore time tested truths in favor of the shortcut. Those who waste time and energy on these fake solutions are much more likely to fail than to succeed in their quest for a healthier lifestyle.

Carolyn Heintz works in San Diego as a personal nutrition consultant, as a mom to two daughters, and as an advocate for the health screenings that helped saved her father’s life. When she’s not working, she’s soaking up any nutritional, fitness, or wellness knowledge that she can get her hands on and sharing that information on her blog.

 

Use a Side Hustle to Stand Out From the Crowd

In the comments of my post Five Effective Ways to Find Your Best Second Career Kita wrote:

Everyone I know has a side hustle of some kind I think it’s needed in this economy I just think you need something that will make you stand out from the rest in a big way.

This is great advice for the marketing graduate mentioned in the above post:

After obtaining her marketing degree the only work this woman was able to find was as a retail clerk. She tells me employers won’t hire her because she‘s too old (over 50) and that her skills aren’t strong enough. She specifically mentioned her computer skills stating she has not been able to pass a computer proficiency exam.

Another commenter wrote:

Marketing can be rough as some positions rely solely on appearance, so unfortunately the younger the better.

This is why it is absolutely imperative for the woman above to do everything possible to improve her computer skills now. 

Before she can even think about standing out from the crowd she needs to become incredibly qualified:
She should become proficient with the software programs companies expect new hires to be familiar with. This may involve taking additional classes then practicing at home. She could track her budget and expenses in excel, develop dummy power point presentations, create website graphics in Photoshop or build her own website. She could use the free version of a program similar to Photoshop called GIMP, if she doesn’t want to pay for Photoshop. Also, some placement firms and temporary agencies offer computer training to their job candidates.

Once she meets the basic computer requirements, how can she stand out?

Join local marketing associations:
With a quick internet search I was able to fine three marketing associations in the Milwaukee area: BMA Milwaukee, American Marketing Association, and Milwaukee Interactive Marketing Association. This woman should not only join at least one of them, but she should actively participate by attending their meetings and events. Listen to what members are talking about and what their concerns are. She could write blog posts covering these topics on her own blog or the organization’s website. Then link these posts to her linked-in account. Volunteer to work on a committee or the board. By becoming an active member she has a greater opportunity to network, practice skills, learn from others and make mistakes in a non-work related setting.  

Volunteer for a nonprofit organization:
Most non-profit organizations are hurting for volunteers. Offer to write their newsletter, update their social media accounts and website. Or better yet volunteer to evaluate, work with, update or create their marketing program.  

Work for free:
It sounds as if it’s too late for this woman to secure an internship, but she could seek out small employers and offer to provide marketing services for free. Many side-hustlers get their start working for free. You gain experience while building your resume and gaining references.

Start your own marketing company:
Create your own social media, website, blog or marketing company.  Use the references and experience you gleaned from your professional association membership, volunteer work and working for free to create your portfolio.  Then sell yourself as a contract worker.

Gain experience working for a temporary agency:
Working as a temp has always been one of my favorite ways to gain experience, but the woman from above was not a proponent of this idea. She felt this wasn't feasible.  She could not afford to quit her permanent job to work in a temporary position.

What standing out from the crowd does not mean:
After reading Alison Green’s post a job applicant stopped by with a plant and candy, I feel it is worthwhile to mention a couple of things a job candidate should not do to stand out from the crowd. Do not send hiring managers gifts of any kind including candy, wine, gift baskets, fruit baskets, plants, baked goods including dropping off brownies, cookies, cakes or donuts and never ever send them a framed picture of yourself. The only things you should be sending a hiring manager are a well written cover letter and your resume. Also do not call the hiring manager to make sure they received your resume or to tell them you are the perfect candidate for the job. And never ever stop in to see them without a prearranged interview. All of these gimmicks are likely to land your resume directly into the trash can.  

Unfortunately without contacts, experience or stellar grades a degree by itself probably won’t open too many doors. I agree with Kita, if you want to stand out in the job market in this economy you are going to need a side-hustle.

Do you have a side-hustle? Has it helped you stand out from the crowd?

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Are You Wearing Jeans Today?

Today is International Denim Day:

This is a day in which people around the world wear denim in honor of those who have been raped and to educate society about rape.  This campaign came about after an 18-year old girl in Italy was raped by her 45-year old driving instructor in the 1990’s.  Her rapist was initially arrested, prosecuted, convicted and sentenced to jail, but his conviction was overturned on appeal.  Why? Because the woman was wearing really tight jeans! The Italian Supreme Court presumed since the woman’s jeans were tight she must have assisted him with their removal concluding their sexual encounter had to have been consensual. Enraged by this verdict, the women of the Italian Parliament protested that very day by wearing jeans to work.  This protest evolved into the first Denim Day in LA in April 1999 and has continued every year since.

I only recently became aware of Denim Day:

I learned of it when reading, Student McKenna Nerone is generating support for rape victims through Denim Day, an article on JS Online about McKenna Nerone’s project Share a Pair. Nerone, a high school senior, created Share a Pair as a project for a senior’s honors seminar. Her goal is to raise awareness of sexual assault and the dangers of blaming victims. She hopes to collect 1,050 pairs of jeans for Denim Day.

Why 1,050 pairs of jeans?
Nerone calculated during the time she spends each week in class 1,050 individuals are sexually assaulted. According to denimdayusa.org, every two and a half minutes, somewhere in America, someone is sexually assaulted.

Nobody wants to talk about rape:
Not everyone was in favor of Nerone’s project.  She encountered objectors who felt rape was a taboo topic.  This taboo is precisely why Nerone went ahead with her project. She feels it will benefit both her high school and the greater community.  She is quoted in the article as saying:

“I want to make people start talking about it. Nobody wants to talk about rape.”

The topic of rape and sexual assault is rarely addressed in school, Nerone said and she wants to change that, along with a common misconception.

“Many people think that if you’re going to be raped you need to have this criteria,” she said listing weight, physical attributes and tight jeans. “But no that is just not true.”

Thank you McKenna for making me aware of International Denim Day and for the awareness you have created. Knowledge and education is the first step in fighting the rape culture that continues to be prevalent in our society.

McKenna Nerone is donating all of the jeans she collects to Pathfinders, a local nonprofit that helps youths and young adults who are survivors of sexual assault, homelessness and mental illness.

I’m wearing jeans today.  Are you?

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My Co-worker Won’t Stop Talking About Sex

I have this annoying co-worker, who over the years has shared too much information about his personal life. For the most part he’s harmless, but when he starts talking about his sex life I get uncomfortable. 

Early on when he began working for our company, he would look me up and down then ask me my dress size, overly compliment my wardrobe then tell me stories about how his wife wouldn’t have sex with him. One day when he started telling me about a dream he’d had about me the night before I lost it. I cut him off mid-sentence, rudely told him I didn’t want to hear about his dream, that I didn’t want him to ask me my dress size anymore and to stop talking to me about his sex life. I also told him some women would consider these actions sexual harassment. Looking back, his dream may not have been sexual, but at the time I didn’t want to risk hearing about it.

My co-worker didn’t talk to me again for almost a year which didn’t bother me a bit. Then slowly he began initiating conversation and before I knew it he was back to talking about sex again. Recently he’s added sexual jokes and comments about other employee’s sex lives to his topics of conversation.

At a recent going away party this employee made a joke about our President’s sex life in front of everyone including our President’s 70-year old father and our human resource manager. No one acknowledged the joke or laughed. Instead, someone quickly changed the subject.

It baffles me that no one sits this employee down and tells him to knock it off. Not only does he talk about sex with me, but when he thinks he has a funny story or joke he walks around the office sharing it with everyone.

Friday morning he was at it again, making the rounds telling his latest joke about our President’s sex life when I decided I’d had enough. I turned to him and said, “Fred, this isn’t appropriate conversation for the workplace.” He looked at me and repeated my comment, “This isn’t appropriate conversation for the workplace?” I think he got my message, but I’m sure he will be back at it in a few weeks. I’ve decided from now on every time I hear him talking about sex I’m going to repeat my previous comment or tell him he is being unprofessional.

And for those of you who talk about sex at work:

Doing so diminishes your credibility. This goes for women too:
There is this story about one of our female employees who traveled with a male co-worker to an out of state conference many years ago. According to the male co-worker, she talked about her favorite sexual positions the entire length of the trip. To this day, when this female employee’s name comes up for promotion her male co-worker who is now a VP shares this story along with his opinion this employee is not professional.

Not everyone will find your joke funny:
Not everyone has the same sense of humor. When you joke or talk about sex you always run the risk of offending someone. Plus, someone who laughed at your jokes last week may for no obvious reason find them offensive or not funny this week. I once worked with a guy who liked to tell a couple of his female co-workers he’d like to see their lips around a Pepsi bottle or a banana. Sure enough, he made this comment to a new temporary employee and she reported him to HR for sexual harassment.

You are a disruption:
Your jokes and stories are unproductive and disruptive. They stop work- flow and provide fodder for employee gossip. See next topic:

You are drawing unwanted attention to your appearance:
When talking about your sex life you may be providing a visual image to your co-workers they do not want to see. Let’s face it you may not actually be a “ten” and your co-workers may find these visual images repulsive.

Do your career a favor and remember conversations about sex are not appropriate for the workplace.

Have you had a co-worker who talked about sex in the workplace? How did you handle it?

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What makes you feel strong? Strength Challenge Interview #2

Created by Darlene B. Nemeth

This week I am running a series of posts resulting from my strength interview with Darlene B. Nemeth.  About two years ago Darlene embarked on a journey to travel towards inner peace and happiness. Her quest reminded me of my own challenge to become a stronger person in my 50th year.  Curious to learn more I emailed Darlene and requested an interview. Today’s post focuses on what Darlene has learned about strength.

What makes you feel strong?
I don’t have a simple answer for this question. For me to feel strong, I have several needs.

First of all, I need to be well rested. Why? Being sleep deprived makes my brain foggy and I can’t think straight and it affects my memory. I can’t think fast on my feet so I come across brain dead.

Second, I need a full stomach. Not uncomfortably full, just nicely satisfied. I tend to snack throughout the day and never allow my stomach to be empty. Of course snacks do not include sugary foods because you don’t want to spike then crash. I am aiming to keep my glucose leveled out. I like to snack on fresh fruit or vegetables with a bit of cheese or almonds. I need to feed my brain. Why? For the same reason I get my rest.

I’m your starting to think I’m a little cuckoo but I assure I’m not. These tips that I am sharing are genuine. I will continue.

Third, is to keep hydrated whether your drinking water or munching down on raw fruits and vegetables. Why? Once again, it is about keeping your brain happy. I suggest keeping a bottle of water nearby.

Fourth and definitely extremely important is being knowledgeable. I can get excited, boisterous and confident when I am brimming with information. The more I know the better. I am constantly reading articles in my field, self-improvement and just about anything that looks interesting.

 Dressing for success is also on my list of tips on being strong. Yes, I am a firm believer in dressing for success. It makes me feel strong and confident because presentation counts and my clothes are my image. If you want to be taken as a serious professional you must dress the part.

These are my suggestions:

 - Your outfit should be a solid conservative colour

 - Wear a suit or dress pants with a coordinating blouse

- Wear clean shoes. No open toed shoes or spikes.

- Make sure your hair is clean and neat

 - If you are going to wear jewelry or make up, keep it simple

- I would skip the perfume because you never know who may have allergies

What detracts from your strength or what do you see others doing that detract from their strength?
 Negative people really suck the life out of me leaving me weak and tired:

- Their complaints 

- Their negative spin on everything

- Outbursts of anger with or without swearing

 Now I know I cannot completely avoid these people but I do limit my exposure to them. Depending on the situation and my relationship with that person I will try to guide them into a positive state. For example, if my daughter comes home and starts with listing off all the bad in her day, I will ask her to tell me something good.

In addition to her website http://darlenebnemeth.blogspot.ca/, check out Darlene's pins on Pinterest and items for resale at LittleShopTreasures on Etsy.

What makes you feel strong? What detracts from your strength or what do you see others doing that detract from their strength?

Tune in tomorrow to read Darlene's tips in dealing with a bully.

Previous posts in this series:
Strength Challenge Interview #1 - an Introduction


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My husband forbids me from going gray

Ever since I wrote a blog post about Anne Kreamer’s book Going Gray: What I Learned about Beauty, Sex, Work, Motherhood, Authenticity, and Everything Else That Really Matters, search terms relating to gray hair began appearing in my blog stats. Recently the following showed up in my keyword history:

My husband forbids me from going gray

I wanted to help this person and others like her formulate a response. Who better than Anne Kreamer herself to answer this query? I sent Anne an email asking how to respond.  Here is her reply:   

There's no question the decision to dye or not dye is timeless and universal. As to your husband, what does he say? Why does he forbid you? Because he thinks you'll look old? He'll look old? You have bad hair? I'd want to know with real detail what his issue is. Then I guess I'd ask him what is it that he fears will happen if you have your natural hair color. Will you not have sex? Is he worried about what others will think?

I'm not sure how long you guys have been together nor how old you are, but ask him does he want you to love him if he goes bald? Would he wear a toupee or dye his hair?

Good luck!

Thank you Anne - I was hoping your response would come from a position of strength.  I was not disappointed.  

Has your spouse or partner ever forbidden you from changing some aspect of your appearance? Or have they demanded you change an aspect of your appearance?  How did you respond?

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How to dress "strong" at work?

When I began my career in the late 80’s it was easy to dress “strong” at work. I would wear an expensive freshly dry-cleaned power suit, a pair of tan colored nylons, along with matching pumps and I was out the door. Whether I was at work, lunching with my co-workers or running errands after work I always felt strong in this outfit. Then along came the 90’s when many companies adopted relaxed workplace dress-codes. Currently, it is not unusual to see jeans, capris or even flip flops at the office. The problem with this relaxed-style is I no longer feel “strong” as I walk into meetings wearing a polo shirt, khakis and flats.

For suggestions on power dressing in a business casual environment, I turned to executive styling consultant expert Catherine Storing who agreed to be interviewed on this topic. Catherine Storing can be found at http://catherinestoring.com/.

Several years ago, I attended a two-week workshop covering communication skills for women. The first week I wore a purple suit, the second a pink one. After the last session, the instructor pulled me aside and told me I dressed too pretty. She recommended I wear grey or black if I wanted to be taken seriously in the workplace. Ironically, just prior to my interview with Catherine I came across a photo of myself wearing a lavender jacket and tan slacks at a work function. I sent the photo to Catherine asking her to critique my outfit:

 Catherine was much kinder than my former instructor instead of blurting out my outfit was all wrong she complimented my smile and offered the following suggestions:

You want to stand out.

You want to be the first thing people see when they walk into the room.

Don’t be afraid to wear color.  The lavender jacket I was wearing in the photo muted my appearance. She recommended I not wear pastels unless I contrasted them with color.

Here is more of my interview with Catherine Storing:

Do you have any recommendations for dressing casual at the office?
Business casual was meant to relax corporate dressing and give employees a little more freedom to express themselves through their clothing.  Business casual should be professional only a little more relaxed. My motto is comfortable = confident. Clothes should be loose and comfortable; they should fit well and be designed for your body type. If an article of clothing bothers you when you put it on, take it off.  It will bother you all day.

Here is an example of appropriate business casual attire:

Just because your office has a business casual dress code, it doesn’t mean you have to adhere to it, at least not completely. If you’re looking to get promoted, you need to dress seriously. And you have to dress the part-as if you already have the part you want and have earned.

Suits are very important. If you own two suits including a jacket, skirt and pants you should be able to create ten different outfits. Wear them with a colorful funky blouse that is form fitting. The jacket should hit right below your waist and shouldn't cover your butt completely.

Purchase one or two charcoal separates because they are so easy to pair with something else.

Dresses are also a good choice because they eliminate the need to find a matching blouse to wear with them as you would with a skirt or pants.  They can also be dressed up or down.

What about accessories?

When done right accessories compliment and elevate corporate attire. Just remember you are going to work and not to a party.

Earrings are a good choice because they frame the face. Wear small hoops.  Over-sized hoops do not belong in the office.

Necklaces – layer medium size bangles of like colors and textures.

Watch – every career woman needs a good timepiece.  No girlie watches and never one with rhinestones. She recommends Michael Kors for affordable style.

Rings – wear one or two that compliment your outfit.
 

Here is a photo of Catherine having fun with accessories.  Also, I love her shoes:

Speaking of shoes, can I wear high heels to the office?

It is fine to wear 3-1/2 inch heels, but don't wear black and never skinny. Wedges are easier on your feet, as are platform boots. I recommend wearing heels because you want to be at eye level to be seen and heard. For comfort I like Naturalizer and Rockport.

What current trends do you recommend?

Color - I prefer solids. If you want to wear a pattern make sure the pattern is small.

Leggings

Awesome wrap around sweaters

Jeans - trousers are amazing. Wear them with a little top for a polished look.

Capris are fine as long as they are form-fitting. They shouldn’t be short.

Tights off black or black are great for winter.

What stores do you recommend?

Talbots – for dresses.

Ann Taylor and Ann Taylor Loft – for your power suit.  Watch for sales.

Banana Republic – for pants. They also have a great selection for petites.

TJ Maxx – for accessories especially watches. Also, good for undergarments, tights and socks.

Make sure your style is age-appropriate:

For the 30 – 50+ crowd you should not wear low riser jeans. Do not show your stomach or wear really tight clothes.  When I talk about form-fitting clothes I mean tailored to you, not tight.  Forever 21 is a store for teen girls, not for adult women.
 
What are some of your business casual don’ts?
No flip flops ever.

No sweats.

Never go sleeveless.

No cleavage. You want people to notice the color the color of your eyes.

No miniskirts. Your skirt should fall either right below or above the knee.

Never wear nude nylons. Unless nylons are the right color they don't look natural. Instead she recommends shaving and not showing too much skin.

For more tips on dressing appropriately for work please see Business Casual Dress Code Done Right.
 

What should a woman wear to a meeting where she is the only woman in attendance?

She should wear her favorite outfit or power suit, the one that fits her well and is comfortable.  This is not the time to go out and buy something new.

 

 What should a woman wear to a conference attended almost entirely by men (all wearing blue oxford shirts and khakis)?
A dress and don’t be afraid to wear red.  She should also wear make-up.

 

What should I wear when I need to make a quick run to the store? More than once, I’ve run into a colleague wearing sweats and no makeup.

Wear a trench coat. Close it and it automatically dresses up whatever you are wearing. Also be sure to wear a bra.

 

How should I dress for my body type which is athletic?

By athletic do you mean flat chested?

Yes, that is what I mean?

For the athletic body type:

Your look should be feminine. You should wear dresses and skirts. Wear necklaces and scarves to draw attention away from a smaller bust.  Opt for fitted clothing over clothes that are loose.  Make sure your bra maximizes whatever there is. You do not want your bra to separate, but to lift.

Are there any books that have influenced you or that you recommend to others?
The Happiness Project: Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun by Gretchen Rubin. Gretchen is a mom and business owner who promotes balance and forgiving yourself for not getting it right.

I'd Rather Be in Charge: A Legendary Business Leader's Roadmap for Achieving Pride, Power, and Joy at Work by Charlotte Beers.

Turning Pro: Tap Your Inner Power and Create Your Life's Work

by Steve Pressfield

What do you know now that you wish you’d have known when you were 18?

What I wanted at 18 will change over time and that is okay. Study what you want in college don't care what your major is. Go for what you love.

What is the most important advice you give to clients?

I believe I am an amazing person and everyone else is too. Everyone is so judgmental about what they look like and can't take a compliment. Just say thank you.
 

Is there anything else we should know about you?

We are a work in progress.  and  Where we are is where we need to be.

Thank you, Catherine Storing for an enjoyable and informative interview. In addition to Catherine Storing's website, She can be found on twitter and pinterest.  To learn more about Catherine's services, please visit:

 http://catherinestoring.com/services/