I Am the Ocean: A Pleasant Surprise

When Samita Sarkar emailed me to ask if I’d be interested in reviewing her travel memoir, I initially hesitated.

Here is her description of what I Am the Ocean is about:

The memoir covers a backpacking trip along the east coast of the United States that I took during my early twenties. A Canadian traveler on a budget with a thirst for self-discovery, I slept on couches, buses, and in cramped hostels. I saw beautiful things and met many interesting people, but it was also a time of spiritual searching and personal development for me.

I wasn’t sure. Not another backpacking book! I’d kind of had my fill of those after reading Cheryl Strayed’s Wild and Susan Jane Gilman’s Undress Me in the Temple of Heaven, but my intuition kicked in and I said yes. I am so glad I did - I Am the Ocean was a pleasant surprise.

After Sarkar graduated from the university with top grades she surprisingly can’t find a job. To pull herself out of her jobless funk she uses her savings to travel on a budget from Canada to Miami stopping in NYC, Washington D.C., Savannah and Miami along the way. Not to keep comparing her to Strayed, but her trip was well-planned, she trusted her intuition and used common sense. Though if she had asked me for advice, I would have told her to skip the couch surfing at single men’s apartments. 

I enjoyed her observations of traveling in the U.S., thoughts on Americans and our landmarks/tourist destinations. I also liked that she wasn’t afraid to travel off the beaten path. As a travel tip I’ve never considered visiting Miami, but am now sure it is not a place I want to visit; at least not while staying in a hostel.

I found her assessment of LiveMocha.com (an online community where people who wanted to learn different foreign languages and mark each other’s assignments) interesting: 

Because all good things most come to an end, their competitor, the language giant Rosetta Stone, eventually bought Live.Mocha.com and ran this amazing resource with a thriving community into the ground. (pg. 5)

I recommend this book to any 20-something going through a quarter-life crisis, those who want to learn what it is like to travel on a budget, readers who enjoy travel memoirs or want to read a well-written, light book. I Am the Ocean  would make a great nonfiction beach read.

Personally, I love Samita Sarkar’s writing voice and want to read everything she has written and am heading over to her website to do so now.

Have you read any books lately that were a pleasant surprise?

Note: I received a copy of this book from the author in exchange for an honest review and am an Amazon affiliate.

The Savvy Reader Book Gift List

As I was contemplating what to buy friends and family this holiday season I realized many of my favorite reads of 2013 would make excellent gifts. Here is my hypothetical gift list:

For my friend and colleague Kate:

Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead. This is the best career book I‘ve read in years and one that I wish I’d read earlier in my career. I recommend this book for any woman who is looking to re-charge her career.

As a companion read I would include:

Debora L. Spar’s Wonder Women: Sex, Power, and the Quest for Perfection.Spar is the president of Barnard College and has written a book about how our culture has evolved in the last 50-years. She details how women struggled to gain power, but instead ended up caught in an endless quest for perfection. I found myself nodding in agreement as Spar describes how women today try to be the perfect wife, the perfect mother and the perfect career person. 

For my sister who is the mother of three children under the age of eight:

Crystal Ponti's The Mother of All Meltdowns: Real Stories of Moms' Finest (Worst, Completely Awful) Moments. When I saw the look on my sister’s face as her 4-year old kept insisting he wasn’t wearing pants or shoes on our outing I realized perhaps motherhood is much harder than I realized. After reading the melt-down moments the authors share in this book I hope my sister learns she is not alone and that there is no such thing as a perfect mom or child. Please see Wonder Women: Sex, Power, and the Quest for Perfection from above.

For my niece who will be moving to Santa Monica by herself next year:

Gavin de Becker's The Gift of Fear and Other Survival Signals that Protect Us From Violence. This book explores how fear is a gift that can be used to keep us safe and explains how we can spot even subtle signs of danger—before it’s too late. Gavin teaches us how to listen to and trust our intuition. I recommend this book to anyone who will be living on their own for the first time.

For the niece who is graduating from college this December and has nothing constructive to do until grad school begins next fall:

Cheryl Strayed's Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar. It could be a coincidence, but after reading this book I snapped out of the funk I had been in for almost a year. I recommend this book - a compilation of Strayed’s Dear Sugar advice columns - to any young adult approaching their quarter-life crises.

For my non-fiction loving friend who read and enjoyed Robert K. Massie's Catherine the Great: Portrait of a Woman after learning of it from this blog post:

George Parker's The Unwinding: An Inner History of the New America. I am currently reading this book and am amazed by how comprehensive it is. Packer follows the lives of several Americans over the past three decades. In doing so he describes how America which was once a super power is beginning to become undone. I recommend this book for anyone who likes to read about current events or who is interested in the increasing disparity between the rich and poor.

 

Please note, I am an Amazon affiliate

What was your favorite reads of the year? Would you give them as gifts?

Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar

Motivation for reading:
I decided to read Cheryl Strayed’s book Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar after Rebecca Joines Schinsky included it on a list of books to read through your quarter life crisis over on Book Riot.

Rebecca wrote:

Strayed pushes us to know that we make ourselves, and it’s up to us to make ourselves whole. Someone in these pages will have the problem you have had or are having. Many someones will have it much worse. You will get perspective and reassurance and at least one that’s-exactly-what-I-needed-to-hear moment.

At 50, I’m not going through a quarter-life crisis, but a mid-life one and could certainly use a little perspective as I continue to make my way, so I decided to give the book a try.

What is Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar about?
Cheryl Strayed, the author of Dear Sugar an online advice column at The Rumpus, has put together a book of her best Dear Sugar columns along with a few that have never before been published.

My Thoughts:
Before reading this book, I was concerned an entire book of columns might be advice overload, so when I packed it for a recent vacation it was almost as an afterthought; perhaps I’d read a column or two. Once I began reading, I was so taken with Cheryl’s writing and her advice I couldn’t put the book down. I will warn you though Cheryl includes a story from her own life in every column instead of just giving advice. While I enjoyed this, some of you may not. 

Here is some of the advice I am taking to heart:
To the husband whose wife lost her mother:

Say Oh honey, I’m so sorry for your loss over and over again. (Page 98)

I’ve been in several situations where someone I know has lost a loved one and I’m never sure what I should say or do. Cheryl suggests being there and saying you are sorry over and over is what you need to do. It doesn’t make it okay, but it makes it better.

The guidance Cheryl gives the wife whose husband had an affair with a young woman the wife hired for the family business is perfect. Instead of forgiving the young woman Cheryl suggests she first accept the situation.

“Acceptance asks only that you embrace what is true.” (Pg. 113)

She recommends the wife neutralize her negative thoughts with a breath. Calm your mind. Breathe in deeply with intention, and then breathe out. Cheryl has breathed her way through many people she feels wronged by.

Then there is the Dear Sugar column I wrote about in my post Is It Possible to Change the Course of a Young Girl's Life. In this column, Cheryl writes about her experiences working as a youth advocate. Initially she tries to help the teens by getting the authorities to intervene. When no one comes to their aid and she’s told there is no money for kids over the age of 12, Cheryl changes her advice. She tells the girls to survive it. To endure it. This column gives me goose bumps every time I read it.

And lastly, the mental vision I have of the ‘rain” song Cheryl sings with the children in 'Ten Angry Boys' has stayed with me long after reading the book.

Bottom Line:
Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar isn’t what I would call a light vacation read. I had been feeling a bit down prior to my vacation and this book didn’t exactly bring me up. I spent a couple of days wallowing in my dysfunctional childhood, but the book did help me see things from a different point of view. I came away able to forgive someone from long ago and also to feel reassured I did the right thing in distancing someone else. All in all reading the book was good for me and I gained perspective. I can only imagine how much I'd have gotten out of it if I had read it during my quarter-life crisis.

Have your read this book?  If so what were your thoughts?

If you enjoyed this post you may also like:
New Perspectives
Life is Not About Perfection
Career Book Recommendations and Advice From FrauTech
How Not to Lose Your Cool When Your Manager Screams at You

Please Note I am an Amazon Affiliate.