What worked in 2011: Learning to slow down and take care of myself

My husband and I have an annual New Years Eve tradition; we each list our top “ten” memories/successes of the year then read them to each other over a glass of wine. This year I struggled to come up with ten memorable items. 2011 was a year filled with melancholy moments including a friend being diagnosed with melanoma then lymphoma, my 25 year old future nephew in-law had to be rushed to the emergency room with a pulmonary embolism, my husband rolled his vehicle on black ice in March (thankfully he was okay), I had bronchitis for three weeks in July, even one of my dogs was so sick he had to be taken to the vet.

This not being a typical year is what worked for me:

I got a prescription for bifocal contacts:
I have had to wear reading glasses in addition to contacts for at least five years now. The problem was I was constantly misplacing my reading glasses, breaking them, forgetting them or was too lazy to search for them in my purse. I couldn’t read prices at the store, coupon expiration dates, menu items at restaurants or actually see the photos my friends showed me on their iPhones without them. When my “new” optometrist recommended I try bifocal contacts I consented. The decision to switch to Air Optix multifocal contact lenses was the smartest thing I did all year and I am not being paid to write this. I now have perfect vision which is important for an accountant (mistaking 3’s for 8’s doesn’t work well in my profession).

I lost weight:
I have been talking about losing that extra ten pounds for at least five years with no success. Last spring after realizing both the dress I purchased for a wedding and the outfit I bought for a bridal shower were a little too snug I decided it was time to get serious about losing weight. I asked a friend who had lost weight what had worked for her. She had joined Weight Watchers and gave me suggestions which I followed. I changed my breakfast to low sugar oatmeal, my snacks to fruit and 90 cal granola bars. I moved my salad from lunch to before dinner and began eating Healthy Choice meals for lunch. I also switched my workouts to a high-intensity boot camp class. It all worked and I ended up losing eight pounds. Enough weight to fit into some of my old clothes and to feel much better.

I learned to say no:
After too many sleepless nights (perimenopause), I started considering what is important to me; spending time with friends, going to the gym after work, actually using my vacation time and getting a good night’s sleep. To do this I had to start saying no to extra projects, volunteer work and excessive entertaining.

For 2012:
I want to maintain my weight loss. As Betty White wrote in her memoir If You Ask Me: (And of Course You Won't), it is much harder to lose ten pounds than one or two. She recommends weighing yourself every day and if the scale begins to tip up cut back on what you eat for a day or two. I have been practicing this throughout the holidays and so far so good.

I want to continue discovering who I am. Hey I turn 50 this year it is about time. I had another bad week at work then was strongly encouraged to go in on Saturday (its year end). While sitting in my office miserable, I decided it is time I get serious about figuring out what I want to do with the rest of my life.

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Weekend Wisdom

Weekend Wisdom

This weekend I've decided to participate in Hot Coco's Weekend Wisdom Blog Hop. Participants are to answer one of three questions.  I am choosing:

What did you learn this week that made a difference in your life, and could make a difference in someone else's?

I have to admit I’ve been a having a difficult time lately. I wake up at odd hours like 4:00 a.m. and am unable to fall back to sleep. I'm irritable. I wrote about losing my cool here. Then this week I got uncharacteristically upset when management announced a new training program based on the book Who Moved My Cheese? Unable to control my emotion, I expressed what a colossal waste of time and money this would be. Even my boss who usually backs me up couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t let this one go. I find myself unable to control how my brain works. On Friday, I had two difficult meetings along with an important project due. By the end of the day I was asking questions that didn’t make sense, began addressing co-workers by the wrong names and even told a salesman a co-worker was absent when she was clearly sitting at her desk.*

When my husband (who can tell my mood by looking into my eyes) asked what is wrong and that I seem so edgy lately, I realized I've had enough. Similar to the smoker who wakes up one morning and realizes they’ve had enough and its time to quit, I realized I no longer want to be like this. I am tired of being angry all the time. I let little annoyances fester into obsessions; the girl at the gym who never stops talking and invades my space, the manager who discounts all ideas that are not his or the one who boasts about how smart he is. Plus, I'm not feeling up to all the cooking and cleaning that comes with hosting Thanksgiving.

I told a friend my New Year’s resolution was going to be working on not getting so upset over trivial things. In 2012 I turn 50. I don’t want to be this angry middle-aged woman. Surprisingly she answered with:

That is so weird. I just told another friend that my New Year’s resolution is to relax and not get worked up about things that don’t really matter. Mellow out and take things slower. Stop killing myself for my ungrateful kids and start doing more for myself. I want more out of life. We were talking about all the ailments we have as we get older and I told her what your doctor told you that time “embrace the new you”. I still think that is sadly hilarious and true.**

Then it hit me, I along with my friends are experiencing the symptoms of menopause. During this crazy time, when I can’t control what is going on with my body I am going to need the support of friends or possibly a good therapist more than ever. I have always taken great pride in my ability to control my emotions and was able to work uninterrupted for many hours. A healthy diet and exercise program is not going to be enough. Perhaps recognizing that I have a problem and committing to change will make a difference.

* The appearance of fine lines on my face along with my perpetually chapped lips is not helping my mood.

**This was my doctor’s response when I asked her what I could do about my belly fat.

If you would like to learn more about my thoughts on business books see my post Can reading a book transform you or your business from good to great?