Why I Mute TV Commercials

This month, The Savvy Reader Book Club, is reading Debora L. Spar’s book Wonder Women: Sex, Power, and the Quest for Perfection. Today is the first in a series of posts I will write throughout the month inspired by this book.

One of the first points Spar, who is roughly the same age as me, makes in Wonder Women is how the perfume commercials we grew up with in the 70’s shaped the visions of our future adult life. She writes:

They stuck somehow in the public consciousness, or at least in the minds of schoolgirls like me, who simply presumed that life in the grown-up world would be just like the ad for Charlie. We'd have careers to skip to, kids to adore us, and men waiting to douse us with perfume the moment we waltzed through the door. Money and great shoes only sweetened the package.

This wasn't of course, the life that our mothers were living. In 1970, only 43 percent of women worked outside the home. In upper-middle-class white families like my own, the number was slightly higher, hovering by 1974 at around 46 percent. Most of these women worked in "traditional" fields such as teaching or nursing, and they rarely wore stilettos to the job. Yet somehow, girls growing up in that era believed - thought, presumed, knew - that they would be different. That instead of replicating their mothers' suburban idylls of parent-teacher conferences and three-tiered Jell-I molds, they-we-would go the way of Charlie, enjoying children and jobs, our husbands' money and our own. And through it all, we would be smiling and singing, gracefully enjoying the combined pleasures of life. (Pg. 16)

I was astonished. I can't believe my entire life's vision had evolved from a commercial. I vividly remember watching the following Enjoli ad on TV and thinking this is the life I am going to have. I even told my friends quoting the famous line: "I can bring home the bacon. Fry it up in a pan. And never forget you're a man. Cause I'm a woman.

This wasn't the first time entire generations of women were influenced by advertisements.  In Betty Friedan's book The Feminine Mystique, Betty writes how middle-class white women in the 50's and 60's abandoned their careers so they could buy the latest carpet sweeper and cleaning cleanser. A lifestyle perpetuated by magazine editors who restricted the topics and advertisements portrayed in their magazines. Friedman had studied women’s magazines for decades and found the editorial decisions were made by men who enforced “occupation housewife.” Articles and advertisements only portrayed women as housewives. They didn’t want them to have any other ambitions than to be housewives.

Which brings me to The Reading Group Guides discussion questions for Wonder Women.  The very first question asks:

Do contemporary print and electronic publications (advertising, magazines, blogs) persist in creating impossible ideals of beauty, success, and motherhood in the name of commerce, or has this approach been tempered somewhat through the use of more realistic images and languages?

Umm... I  have to say yes.   Even ads like the following Special K commercial which urges women to shut down the fat talk leaves me feeling embarrassed about my weight:

Fortunately, I don't watch a lot of TV and when I do I either fast forward through the commercials or mute them.

What do you think:

Do contemporary print and electronic publications (advertising, magazines, blogs) persist in creating impossible ideals of beauty, success, and motherhood in the name of commerce, or has this approach been tempered somewhat through the use of more realistic images and languages? Can you site examples?

Ann Taylor Loft’s Return Policy Sucks

I have been slow to buy new clothes since losing weight last summer. Instead I wear either clothes that are too big or my former skinny clothes that are now over five years old.  I wanted to make sure I could keep the weight off before investing money in a new wardrobe. A couple of days before Easter I decided I needed a pair of pants that actually fit.   I found two pair at Ann Taylor Loft, a store I usually don’t shop at because their styles usually don’t work for me.  (Call me old fashioned, but I prefer Mom Pants) See examples:

One pair I wore to an Easter brunch the other I thought would be perfect for summer.  Last week I was all set to wear my new linen trouser pants to work before taking one last look in the mirror.  Argh! The pants looked terrible on me (to be honest they were a questionable purchase when I tried them on in the store, but I thought with a long linen shirt they would be okay). They were a tad tight showing every bulge. Plus, they really were too long.  Deciding I could not be seen in public wearing them; I returned them to the store. 

Ann Taylor Loft's Return Policy:

Unfortunately Ann Taylor’s return policy sucks. After 60 days they only give you the item’s current selling price either in the form of a merchandise credit or as a merchandise exchange. The good news is the credit never expires. 

Why is that good news?
Since I don’t ever plan on ever shopping at Ann Taylor Loft again I am planning on giving the credit to a friend who loves the store.  She will be able to take her time using the credit.

Lesson learned:

I need to educate myself on return and other company policies before making purchases at stores where I don’t normally shop.  Here is a list of links that will help all of us become more educated consumers:

Top Ten Worst Company Policies To Be Aware Of:
Money Crashers has put together a list of crazy company policies that border on rip-offs.

Gift Return Worst Practices: Retail Return Policies That Lose Customers:
I was aware of Best Buy and Target's return policies, but not Barnes and Noble.  Seriously B and N if we forget to include the packing slip when mailing back our return we forfeit both our refund and our purchase.

The 5 Worst Retailer Return Policies:
20 Something Finance lists 5 of the worst.

Kohl's is my Kryptonite
Kohl's actually has one of the best no hassle return policies out there. I am including this post from Stephanie at Graduated Learning because she does a great job showing us how Kohl's gets us to keep showing up at their store. 

Do you have a bad return experience you would like to share?

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Enjoy Mad Men check out Mad Women

I first heard of Jane Maas and her book Mad Women: The Other Side of Life on Madison Avenue in the '60s and Beyond when Kim Ukura included it on her list of Nonfiction for the Life and Times of Mad Men on Book Riot. Kim writes:

In this memoir, “real life Peggy Olson” Jane Maas writes about her time as a copywriter the world of advertising in New York. Maas started her career in 1964 at Ogilvy and Mather, eventually becoming the president of an agency in New York. Honestly, who doesn’t want to hear more about what life was like for the Peggy Olsons of the world?

I had recently begun watching Mad Men and was intrigued with show and the character of Peggy Olson. Sex at the office, three-martini lunches, constant cigarette smoking and women treated as second class citizens was this show accurate? Jane Maas using her own experiences along with interviews with her peers provides an insider’s view. I had to read this book.

Is the show accurate?
Mostly yes, though most people Jane knew didn’t drink in the mornings and those who smoke find the smoking on the show phony. Cigarette smokers know that smoking is a habit that smokers aren’t aware of.  The actors on the show make a big production of their smoking.  The details of the sets including the office and apartment furnishings and character attire are right-on except for Peggy; they get an accessory wrong.  I am not going to be a spoiler you will have to read the book to find out what it is.  The show's depiction of sex at the office and women being treated as second class citizens is accurate.

What about Jane? How did her real-life experiences compare with Peggy’s?

Jane confirms women didn’t make the same salary as a man with the same title, didn’t have equal space – the guys got offices with windows, women got cubicles.  There were also accounts women were not allowed to work on such as car advertising. Jane writes: 

Why should men take us seriously as advertising professionals? Women weren’t even taken seriously as consumers. (pg. 55)

Jane did have two advantages over Peggy and most other working women of the time:

She had a supportive, successful well-connected and liberal-minded husband. She also had Mabel her nanny and housekeeper who lived with the family Monday through Friday. Jane admits she would not have been able to devote her life to her career without Mabel who came to the family in 1963 and stayed for thirty-two years.*

Mad Women includes networking and career lessons.  I enjoyed the following:

Sit at the front of the room:
Jane who is short would always sit in the front-row at agency meetings.

It is a huge advantage, because in addition to seeing better, you are also seen. (pg. 35)

Priority setting from Mary Wells, president and founder of Wells Rich Green:

Early on I learned to focus and eliminate from my life anything that didn’t really matter because so much in my life did matter.  I pretty well eliminated a social life except with my clients.  They were as interesting to socialize with as anyone else I knew, so that was easy.  My life was simply my family, Wells Rich Greene, and my clients. (pg. 68)

On the importance of a “network:”
Jane receives an offer from Leona Helmsley, yes “the Queen of Mean” Leona Helmsley of Helmsley Hotels, to market the Helmsley motels. Jane would have her own advertising agency.  Leona offers to help Jane get lots of other clients. 

At home that night Jane asked her husband Michael what he thought.  He said what do you have to lose and she agreed.  End of discussion.  In hindsight:

Few men would make a big decision like changing jobs without checking with their Old Boy network.  Women still don’t have that instinctive reaction, nor do we have as good an Old Girl network.  We’re getting better, but we’re not there yet. (pg. 193)

Bottom Line:

I enjoyed this book especially its author Jane Maas.  Jane is warm, professional and likeable.  She seems honest.  She admits her book Adventures of an Advertising Women was a whitewashed memoir.  As president of a New York advertising agency she wrote the book to help attract new business.  In Mad Women she revisits clients and advertising campaigns mentioned in her previous book writing the truth this time.  She doesn’t come across as bitter even when describing the sexism and challenges she faced. Actually, she says she was having a wonderful time. 

If you watch Mad Men, are interested in advertising, life in the sixties, or successful career women, you may enjoy this book. I’ve left out Jane’s perspective on being a working mother and her take on where women are today, if interested you will have to read the book.

 *This is the third time I’ve read about career women getting help with their housekeeping. First Mary Kay Ash, then Lisa Bloom and now Jane Maas  I am beginning to believe them, a housekeeper is a necessity.

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