I'm 50-Years Old and Still Can’t Think on My Feet

For most of July my boss, our company’s CFO, has been out of the office due to a family emergency. In the interim I've been covering for him. At first it was kind of fun – doing or delegating his work –  most of which he shouldn’t be doing anyway. But as the month drags on and I and our accounting department fall further behind, playing CFO has stopped being fun.

Then our HR Manager (regular readers may recall I've had issues with her in the past) decided our payroll person was incorrectly processing some of our payroll deductions. She called me into her office and began berating this employee behind her back telling me how stupid she was. Instead of standing up for my employee I offered to look into it. I went back to my office and searched how to process the specific deductions on the IRS.gov website. What our HR Manager had concluded didn’t make sense. I came up with a couple of examples as to why, braced myself and went back to her office to explain why she was mistaken. Of course I couldn't convince her and she ended up insisting she needed to check into the matter herself. It has been two days and I still haven't heard from her, so I assume her sources informed her she was wrong. If our CFO had been here this would have been a simple fix - I would have asked him, he would have said our payroll employee was correct and the HR Manager was wrong end of story.

This is such a minor incident why does it bother me?
Because here I am turning 50 this week and I still can’t think on my feet. I don't have a thick enough skin to stand up for my employee and articulate my thoughts when I am put on the spot.  When my boss retires in a few years I will never be strong enough to be the CFO on a permanent basis. Several years ago while re-reading my journals I discovered two years in a row I had written almost the identical entry on my birthday – in the upcoming year I am going to work on becoming a stronger person.

So here I am turning 50 and still challenging myself to becoming a stronger person in the upcoming year.

I didn't think I should blog about this. My challenge is so ordinary and there are others who have written about similar projects - Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia (I couldn't take all the crying),  Noelle Hancock's My Year with Eleanor: A Memoir (Her dialog was atrocious - like nails on a chalkboard) and Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project: Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun (Happiness is her job how can the average person find time for this). Then I came across Danielle LaPorte’s post "The Biggest Threat to Your Creativity" where she writes:

... is the fear that it’s already been done, said, created.

(So why bother?)

Say it, do it, make it anyway —

but tell YOUR story along the way.

The story of how you came to know what you know.

The story of what you want to know more of.

The story of why you do what you do.

        The story of how you came to care.

And that’s how you create what’s never been created before

Danielle Laporte has inspired me. I’m going to do this. My 50th year is going to be all about:

Finding my Strength

For starters I have added Danielle Laporte's book The Fire Starter Sessions: A Soulful + Practical Guide to Creating Success on Your Own Terms to my reading list.

I have signed up for the Chopra Center's 21-Day Meditation Challenge beginning July 16th. Guided by Deepak Chopra, and other master teachers I will learn practical techniques for becoming more calm, centered, and happy. The challenge is  21 days because studies have shown that it takes 21 days of consistent behavior to change a habit or create a new one.

I am also challenging myself to read books about those who have persevered and succeeded despite having obstacles in their lives.

I have a few other ideas, but nothing definite.  Have you taken on a similar challenge? Do you have any suggestions for me? If so please share.

Feel Stuck in your Industry? 4 Tips for Getting out Completely

Sometimes, when we are tired with our jobs, it may not be the environment, the pay, or the people with whom you work that bother you. Maybe it's the work itself that bothers you. You look at those in positions above you, and there's nothing about the entire industry that interests you in the slightest. You may think that there's no way out, that you've been in the industry too long to start anew. Nothing could be further from the truth, as long as you go about it the right way. Here are some tips:

1. Understand how to translate and present overlapping skills.
Almost any job imaginable shares at least a few characteristics with any other given job. If you desire a complete change in industry, take a look at your current resume. Look at every listed skill and set of experiences you have, and think of ways these skills may be used in your target industry.

2. Find different ways to get training.
Of course, if you have no prior work experience in the industry you wish to jump into, then you'll have to find a way to get some hands-on training before you go out look for a full-time job. Though it isn't easy, you can take many different approaches to training. You can take a class or two at the local community college that may be helpful. You can offer to do freelance work for free while you teach yourself new skills. Many large cities offer various training programs and conferences beyond college classes, and they're often affordable. Whatever you can do to get some experience before applying for jobs, do it.

3. Seek advice from industry professionals.
Networking during any job search is important; networking while trying to break into a new industry is doubly so. Of course, the goals of networking in these two scenarios are slightly different. If you are networking during a job search, you're doing so to find contacts for open or new positions. Networking in the latter scenario is more about just getting a feel for the industry and getting advice for starting out. Seasoned industry professionals are usually more than willing to meet enterprising prospects for coffee to chat about the industry and getting started in it.

4. Understand that your transition will take some time. Be patient.
Finding a job in and of itself usually takes at least a few months, if not longer. When you are trying to prove yourself in an entirely new industry, the duration of your job search will typically double. As such, do your research and be 100% sure that the new industry you wish to transition into is one that will keep you engaged for a few years. Breaking into a new industry is hard, but it's far from impossible.

The most important thing to remember as you try to enter a new field is that persistence and research pays off. Don't give up! Good luck!

Joining Classy Career Girl’s Networking Challenge

Ever since I read Frau Tech's post Blaming Women Entrepreneurs, I haven't been able to stop thinking about networking.  Here is the section of her post that had the greatest impact on me:

Starting a business is like getting a job. It’s more about who you know than what you know. Many of my male colleagues have networks and contacts built up within the industry. Their opinions are trusted more on technical matters than mine are.

I even asked Anna Runyan of Classy Career Girl to write a guest post for me on Why Networking is Important which ran earlier this week.  Anna mentions some interesting points about barriers that hold you back from networking. I could relate to all of them. Her post also got me thinking about another networking fallacy:

Networking is only important when you are looking for a new job

The truth is you should be developing and nurturing your network on an ongoing basis. And networking is a two-way process. The most successful networks are ones where you give your network more than you receive.

I realized I have been neglecting my own network. Over the past couple of years I have become increasingly disillusioned with my accounting career. So much so, that I have been contemplating a career change.  The practical side of me, however, realizes I still need to support myself and a career change is most likely a pipe dream.  Not wanting my accounting network to know I want out I have been ignoring it. Also being an introvert, it is easy for me to sit in the corner allowing others to sit at the table.

It is time I get back in the game:
I have decided to join Anna Runyan's Networking Challenge. Here is the challenge Anna created for herself:

Every month I would meet with four people I already knew but would like to get to know even better. I also made a point of meeting with four new people.  My goal was to learn from each person I talked to and ask questions about how I to get to the next step in my career.

Anna says we don't have to start with 4 people right away she recommends we begin with just a couple of people the first month and grow from there.  Her most important tip is to plan ahead, write down who we want to meet with and email them before the month starts. Her second tip is to find someone to keep us accountable.  For her accountability, she shares her progress with us on her blog and we keep her accountable.

My Networking Challenge:
I am going to begin with meeting two people I already know and two that I don't each month. These will be people in my community. I too, am going to use my blog audience to keep me accountable. I am also going to try to attend two local events each week.  These could be meetings at trade associations or book events at book stores or libraries.  Lisa Bloom author of the book Think: Straight Talk for Women to Stay Smart in a Dumbed-Down World (which I wrote about here) has challenged us to attend one book event a month.  I am going to take her up on it.  On a side note you may be interested in the following offer Lisa made to her twitter followers @LisaBloom:

Special Offer! Anyone who goes to an author event at your local bookstore or library and tells me about it gets a retweet.

My new blog series:
I am starting a new series on my blog - interviews with other female bloggers who have interesting or unusual careers they are passionate about.  My first interview will appear later this week. My ultimate goal will be to run two interviews each month. In order to achieve this I will have to establish several new social contacts each week in addition to maintaining my current network. My biggest fear is that without prior contact my interview email requests will be considered spam. My challenge will be to make 4 new social contacts each week in addition to keeping up with 4 current contacts.

On being accountable:
As part of this post, I was going to link to Getting my Ducks in a Row, a previous blog post where I introduced a similar challenge. In rereading that post, I noticed how similar it was to this one. As I recall, that particular challenge did not last very long, which just goes to show how hard networking can be for people like me. I think by actually joining Anna’s challenge and having this post listed on her site I will feel much more accountable this go-round.

Do you need a networking challenge to push you out of your comfort zone?  If so head over to Classy Career Girls' site and join us.

Why Networking is Important

A guest post by Anna Runyan:

It’s not what you know, but who you know.  Who you know can mean the difference in whether or not your end up reaching your future dreams and goals. There are so many reasons why networking is important, personally and professionally.  Whether you want to stand out from the crowd during your job search, rise the ranks at your current company or just have a good support network to be there for you when you need it.  I know that I would not be where I am today in my professional journey if I had not made networking a top priority in my life when I was graduating from college and as I started working at my first job.  Networking helped me land an internship during college that turned into a full time job and helped me get promoted at my first job.  I also built a great support network at my church and that network helped me  through a tough time that I went through. No matter where you are in life, you can’t get around the fact that networking is crucial to your success and personal well being.

So what are the barriers that might be holding you back from networking?

1.     The first barrier that might be in your way is that you never know what to say.  I hate that awkward introduction and I not knowing what to say to people I don’t know.  The key here is to be genuine, not think about yourself and what you are going to talk about and instead think about what you want to ask and learn about other people instead.  People are just as scared as you in the room and why not make others feel better and take the focus off of you and onto them.

2.     Another barrier may be if you are an introvert. An introvert is a person who is energized by being alone and whose energy is drained by being around other people.  If you are an introvert like me, it is hard to be open and let strangers into your life.  To network, you have to be open and curious.  You must also show up and be present in all conversations.  Sometimes the hardest part is getting to the event but you will be glad you did once you get there.  Meet one person and start speaking with them and asking questions.  This way, it will be easier to meet others since you know one person very well.  Also, don't be afraid to speak up if you have something to say. 

3.     Another barrier is thinking you are way too busy to network I know I am exhausted after work. This was my biggest pitfall.  I am often too busy with work and school to reach out and connect with someone over lunch or a quick dinner.  You have to make networking a priority, which is why I always scheduled networking events and meetings into my calendar so that I got in the habit of meeting people for lunch or dinner and not going directly home after work.

How did I get over my networking barriers?  It all stated at the beginning of 2011, when I was preparing to graduate from business school and trying to figure out the next step in my career. I knew that networking would be a key to success in the job search, but I also knew I was—and still am—an introvert, and the prospect of meeting new people has never been easy for me.  Still, I was determined to knock down my barriers to networking and meet the people who would help me reach my dreams and goals. So I decided to embark on a networking challenge where every month, I would meet with four people I already knew but would like to get to know even better, as well as four completely new people. I called it the 4×4 Networking Challenge.

And at the end of 2011, I added 48 new people to my network and strengthened relationships with 48 friends, co-workers, and family members. Not to mention, a year of networking like crazy gave me a lot of valuable insights on what it takes to be a good networker—something I never thought I’d be able to claim.

If you are ready to reach your dreams and goals and take your networking to the next level, challenge yourself to a networking challenge. Write it down, find an accountability partner and start today!

Classy Career Girl, a blog written by Anna Runyan, provides advice to young professionals on how to be classy as they climb the corporate ladder.  Her blog covers topics such as business chic fashion, career motivation, personal development, networking, and office etiquette. Connect with her at http://www.classycareergirl.com

How to be more confident at work

A colleague recently complimented me on how confident I currently am compared to when she first met me over 15 years ago. She attributes this gain in confidence to my marriage; I was single when we were first introduced. I was a little taken aback by her comment. She gives my husband, though a tremendous support, more credit for my confidence than 15 years of hard work and additional experience. In response, I’d like to share my thoughts as to what I believe attributed to my increase in confidence.

Inspiration from Mary Matalin:
Around the time I met my above colleague, I jotted the down the following advice from Mary Matalin:

My father used to remind me constantly that only one thing separates successful and unsuccessful people. It isn’t money or brains. It’s confidence. What creates confidence?

1. Being prepared
2. Having experience
3. Never giving up

Over the years I have referred to this advice often, especially when going through a rough patch. Here are examples of how I applied Matalin’s father’s advice to my work:

I put in long days learning my job:
While working for the engineering company, one of the company's managers talked favorably about his energetic new hire. He was impressed with the young engineer’s habit of spending a couple of hours at the end of the work day learning everything he could about his job, even reviewing engineering textbooks. The manager felt this engineer was going to go far. After accepting my current position, I was overwhelmed with piles of paper and strict deadlines. I couldn’t help but think of that young engineer as I too spent many long days learning everything I could to prepare myself for my new position.

I gained experience by taking advantage of leadership opportunities:
I joined and became involved in a professional organization. Over my 14 year membership, I’ve held almost every board position including President. I placed cold calls, spoke in public, made decisions and received feedback that would not have been available to me in my job. By volunteering for these positions I pushed myself outside of my comfort zone and had the opportunity to develop leadership skills in a safe environment.

I didn’t give up when I initially did not pass the CPA exam:
Studying for and passing the CPA exam is probably the hardest, yet most important, thing I have ever done. When I did not pass the exam the first or second time I sat for it, it would have been easy to just give up. I was under quite a bit of pressure to pass though. I was still at the engineering company and many of the engineers had their P.E.’s plus my predecessor had been a CPA. So I persevered until I finally passed all four parts. Having earned that little piece of paper and those initials behind my name has given me more credibility, respect and confidence than anything else I’ve ever done.

Anyone who has ever been though a failed relationship can certainly appreciate the positive frame of mind that comes from being in a supportive relationship and can attest to a loss of confidence that comes from a relationship that does not work out. I firmly believe though my increase in confidence came more from being prepared, additional experience and not giving up than from being married.

Susan Marshall says it best when she wrote:
Increased confidence comes from true learning – getting the wrong answer and having someone who knows the right one explain it to you. Sharpening a skill creates energy and a desire to do more. Naturally, this requires commitment, patience, a great deal of practice and a willingness to persist when you encounter setbacks.

For more information on how to be more confident in your work please see this post on Alison Green’s blog Ask a Manager. Also, be sure to read the comments which include additional suggestions and a recommendation to read Larina Kase's book Anxious 9 to 5: How to Beat Worry, Stop Second-Guessing Yourself, and Work with Confidence.

Have you become more confident at work? If so, what has worked for you?

What worked in 2011: Learning to slow down and take care of myself

My husband and I have an annual New Years Eve tradition; we each list our top “ten” memories/successes of the year then read them to each other over a glass of wine. This year I struggled to come up with ten memorable items. 2011 was a year filled with melancholy moments including a friend being diagnosed with melanoma then lymphoma, my 25 year old future nephew in-law had to be rushed to the emergency room with a pulmonary embolism, my husband rolled his vehicle on black ice in March (thankfully he was okay), I had bronchitis for three weeks in July, even one of my dogs was so sick he had to be taken to the vet.

This not being a typical year is what worked for me:

I got a prescription for bifocal contacts:
I have had to wear reading glasses in addition to contacts for at least five years now. The problem was I was constantly misplacing my reading glasses, breaking them, forgetting them or was too lazy to search for them in my purse. I couldn’t read prices at the store, coupon expiration dates, menu items at restaurants or actually see the photos my friends showed me on their iPhones without them. When my “new” optometrist recommended I try bifocal contacts I consented. The decision to switch to Air Optix multifocal contact lenses was the smartest thing I did all year and I am not being paid to write this. I now have perfect vision which is important for an accountant (mistaking 3’s for 8’s doesn’t work well in my profession).

I lost weight:
I have been talking about losing that extra ten pounds for at least five years with no success. Last spring after realizing both the dress I purchased for a wedding and the outfit I bought for a bridal shower were a little too snug I decided it was time to get serious about losing weight. I asked a friend who had lost weight what had worked for her. She had joined Weight Watchers and gave me suggestions which I followed. I changed my breakfast to low sugar oatmeal, my snacks to fruit and 90 cal granola bars. I moved my salad from lunch to before dinner and began eating Healthy Choice meals for lunch. I also switched my workouts to a high-intensity boot camp class. It all worked and I ended up losing eight pounds. Enough weight to fit into some of my old clothes and to feel much better.

I learned to say no:
After too many sleepless nights (perimenopause), I started considering what is important to me; spending time with friends, going to the gym after work, actually using my vacation time and getting a good night’s sleep. To do this I had to start saying no to extra projects, volunteer work and excessive entertaining.

For 2012:
I want to maintain my weight loss. As Betty White wrote in her memoir If You Ask Me: (And of Course You Won't), it is much harder to lose ten pounds than one or two. She recommends weighing yourself every day and if the scale begins to tip up cut back on what you eat for a day or two. I have been practicing this throughout the holidays and so far so good.

I want to continue discovering who I am. Hey I turn 50 this year it is about time. I had another bad week at work then was strongly encouraged to go in on Saturday (its year end). While sitting in my office miserable, I decided it is time I get serious about figuring out what I want to do with the rest of my life.

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Weekend Wisdom

Determining my Myers-Briggs Score

In my post Penelope Trunk Gives a Wake-Up Call I mentioned one of the first steps to achieving career satisfaction is to know your Myers-Briggs score. My problem was I had taken six different on-line Myers-Briggs assessments and had received six different scores.

How I discovered my real score?
I googled "best" Myers-Briggs book and discovered Paul Tieger and Barbara Barron-Tieger's book Do What You Are. Unfortunately this book does not include the assessment. Apparently the authentic Myers-Briggs Type Indicator Test is copyrighted and available only through organizations, counselors and therapists approved by the Myers and Briggs Foundation. The book does describe each of the 8 personality traits in detail along with providing examples. After a process that included comparing my previous six Myers-Briggs scores with the examples in the book and asking my husband for his opinion I came up with ISFJ.

The book includes profiles of people who enjoy their jobs for each personality type. While reading Monty’s profile (a stressed 44-year old ISFJ who was an over-worked tax accountant with an inability to say no until he became a sole practitioner CPA, working exclusively for nonprofit organizations), I had an aha moment I am an ISFJ. In addition to reading the strengths and weaknesses for ISFJ in the book I found Portrait of an ISFJ on the Personality Page website to be quite helpful.

What did I learn?
I discovered I prefer working in a highly structured, traditional organization with a clear mission. I am more comfortable working one-on-one, helping others or with other people who share my personal values and beliefs. I am hard working, loyal sometimes to a fault and prefer staying in my comfort zone. I also don't like presenting my work to a group without adequate time to prepare well in advance, have a hard time saying no and am a reluctant manager.

I found it interesting how many of the above items I touched on in previous blog posts:

• I am a reluctant manager who got upset when my management skills were attacked in A Personal Attack at Work.
• I discuss wanting to break out of my comfort zone in Getting my Ducks in a Row.
• I write about my inability to say no in Know your limits and learn to say no.
• In both Anger in the Workplace and Weekend Wisdom I get stressed and agitated when I don't have ample time to complete my work.

What is next?
I am considering getting a certified professional to interpret my score. I’d like to discuss whether I should pursue an alternative job in accounting that better fits my personality, make a complete career change or just stay where I am at. Have you done this? Did you find it helpful? Do you feel knowing your Myers-Briggs score has made a difference in your life and career?

Penelope Trunk gives wake-up call

I’ve fell for the promises “Find Your Passion,” “Get Unstuck,” “Follow your Bliss” all in five easy steps. Unfortunately, I’ve read the books, performed the exercises (well sort of) and attended the conferences. Where did they get me? Right back to where I started - stuck. That is until I listened to the interview Steven Roy had with Penelope Trunk. I learned more about goal setting in this one interview than with all the books and conferences combined.

Steven Roy is a 40-year old blogger who feels trapped in his day job. He hates working for someone else and wants to have his own business preferably something online. His goal is to be able to spend more time with his two young daughters. He writes the blog Ending the Grind and occasionally posts podcasts of his interviews with other bloggers.

Penelope Trunk is the author of the book Brazen Careerist: The New Rules for Success and writes at the Penelope Trunk Blog. It was in her post how to know what to look for that she linked to her interview with Steven.

At first Penelope’s response to Steven’s lack of any real goal seemed a bit brazen. Then I read some of her old blog posts on goal setting. The questions she asked Steven were nothing new. She has given advice on how to set goals and how to know ourselves over and over again. She became frustrated with Steven's lack of insight into how he wanted to live his life. For me the success of the interview is hearing a real life example of what you need to do and the questions you need to ask yourself to define your goals.

Penelope points out these are not goals:
Doing whatever it takes
To be home to spend time with your children. (This is the end result of a goal)
Building a blog readership (Not a good way to make money)
To be independently wealthy (This is for 5th graders)

To start with you have to be honest with your self and know where your strongest skills are.

Know your Myers Briggs score:
You can take the test for free here and here.
Since I get a different Myers Briggs result with each new test I take, I prefer the StrengthsFinder 2.0 though you do need to purchase Tom Rath's book StrengthsFinder 2.0 to take the assessment (you need the access key provided in the book).

Determine if you are inwardly or outwardly motivated:
According to Wikipedia:
Intrinsic motivation refers to motivation that is driven by an interest or enjoyment in the task itself, and exists within the individual rather than relying on any external pressure.

Extrinsic motivation comes from outside of the individual. Common extrinsic motivations are rewards like money and grades, coercion and threat of punishment. Competition is in general extrinsic because it encourages the performer to win and beat others, not to enjoy the intrinsic rewards of the activity.

Why is this important for Steve? Externally motivated people are not particularly good bloggers.

Determine what you want to do with your days:
Everyone has to work eight hours a day. If you have a family to support, you have to work eight hours a day. What do you want to do with your time? Talk to people, market, write? How can you make those eight hours good?

To determine what you want to do look at someone’s life:
Don’t look for a career look for a life. There is no way to know what career you’d be happy in without doing it. Look at people’s life. How can you do what they do to have their life? A business and a life go hand in hand.

When you own your own business you are actually trading employers for clients. Clients can be much more demanding than an employer. If you lose a big client you can be out of business.  Think about all the time spent marketing new clients; most entrepreneurs work many more hours than eight hours a day. Is this the life you want?

How much risk can you handle:
Steve has a family and a wife who stays home with the kids.  If he quits his day job he will no longer have employer sponsored medical insurance, sick days, holiday pay or vacation time. He will be responsible for self employment tax and paying quarterly income tax estimates. I have heard that before you quit your day job your side business should be generating double your current salary.  Plus, remember half of all businesses fail within the first four years. I have known business owners who have mortgaged their homes, drained their 401(k) accounts and charged up their credit cards to start a business that eventually failed.

Learn about yourself by looking at your actions:
Penelope thinks Steve likes his job, if he didn't like it he would change it right now.  This one really hit home with me.  I talk about changing careers and quitting my day job all the time, but I never do anything about it.  Why? I like certain aspects of my day job more than the thought of changing jobs or careers.  I've hated my job in the past and have done whatever it took to find a new job. I think Steve's situation is similar, if he really hated his job he would move in with his in-laws and quit his job right now.

Lastly, Penelope gave advice on how to be a successful blogger:
Nobody wants to know how great you are. To be successful you need to add value to people’s lives. People want to watch you change.  People want to watch how others live their life and learn from it. Don't spend time on a blog if you don't know why you are writing it.

Writing a blog is a lousy way to make money:
Penelope wrote for free for seven years before she was able to make enough money to support her family.  A better way to make money online is to have a great landing page and understand Google. All the markets are search driven right now.  Use adWords and adsense; sell something to people that is under-monetized.

After listening to the interview this is what I think Steven should do:
I couldn't help but think of all those hours he spends working on his blog; his goal is to spend more time with his daughters. Why doesn't he use this time to be with them? His gripes are that he is not able to walk them to the bus stop in the morning or take time off to attend their activities. It sounds to me like he needs a job that is flexible.  Once he determines how he wants to spend his days - talking to people, marketing, or writing, he should seek out people who do this type of work with a flexible schedule. Then determine how to do what they do. He could use his blog to brainstorm his ideas and to network.

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50 Best Books for the Unemployed

Phrases such as “Books to read when laid off” and “Books to help with my job search” are common searches that appear in my blog stats.  Fortunately, I now have a resource for those who are out of work or looking to make a job or career change Bachelors Degree Online has compiled a list of The 50 Best Books for the Unemployed.

The list is divided into the following categories:

Inspiration
Just for the Unemployed
Motivation
Networking and Business
Job Hunting

Years ago when my entire department was laid-off we were all given a copy of What Color Is Your Parachute?  When my husband lost his job in 2003 he was given Spencer Johnson's Who Moved My Cheese?: An Amazing Way to Deal with Change in Your Work and in Your Life.  Both books are included in the list as well as Tom Rath's StrengthsFinder 2.0 one of my favorite reads for self-discovery. There is even a book to help cope with the cost of health insurance The Healthcare Survival Guide, Cost-Saving Options for The Suddenly Unemployed and Anyone Else Who Wants to Save Money by Martin B. Rosen and M.D. Abbie Leibowitz

I want to add every book in the “Just for the unemployed” category to my TBR list, but for now am adding Unemployment: The Shocking Truth of Its Causes, Its Outrageous Consequences And What Can Be Done About It by Jack Stone and Joe McCraw to my summer reading list.

What are your thoughts of the books on the list?  Do you have any additional recommendations?

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Technology Woes

I woke up Saturday morning with a revelation - in order for me to devote my life to making a difference I have to have my house in order. By this I mean my work and home life. If I am constantly one step behind or finishing my projects just in the nick of time how will I ever have the time, energy or focus to perform the research needed to make a difference. I decided it was time. Starting today I am going to work towards getting all those pesky little projects out of the way.

Too bad I had this revelation a day too late. I turned on my desktop computer and performed my usual routine; checking my blog stats, reading emails, feeds and tweets. Then my husband checked his and down loaded a song onto his Ipod. The computer locked up, this wasn’t anything unusual locking up has been a regular occurrence lately. I got it going again and continued about my day. Later when I tried shutting it off it acted weird, but I was able to power it down. Now I can’t get it to boot up. No matter what I try nothing.

Then DH was listening to his Ipod and it went into a disk mode and he couldn’t get back to the start menu. No matter how many times he tried - nothing. Panic began settling in. I never backed up his music onto my laptop or his photos - though I do have most of his photos on disk. If we can’t get the computer going again his email contacts and favorites will be gone as well.

I was able to get his ipod going this morning and will have my IT person at my work look at my computer tomorrow, but a lot of aggravation would have been saved if I would have taken a couple of simple backup precautions while I had the chance.

My 2011 Blog Project

It’s a New Year and time for a new blog project. Each year I try to dedicate a series of blog posts to a theme. Previous themes have included Getting my Ducks in a Row  and Getting a Clue.

My 2011 theme is going to be “Making Women Count,” borrowed from Susan Bulkeley Butler’s book Women Count: A Guide to Changing the World. I first became interested in writing a series of blog posts on women when I read Betty Friedan’s book The Feminine Mystique. Friedan had discovered an entire generation of unhappy housewives who were duped into foregoing a career by advertisers and businessmen. They had figured out women will buy more things if they are kept in the underused, nameless yearning, energy-to-get rid of state of being a housewife. I spent the past year attempting to get a clue about how advertisers were able to do this. It was a frustrating year. I read several books mired in examples of advertisements designed to manipulate purchasers. I came to the conclusion, we the viewer of these advertisements, don’t really have a chance. They are everywhere. The last straw came when I read Michelle’s post From the Smartly: Beauty.  Her beautiful six year old daughter thinks she is not pretty because her hair wasn’t curled and she wasn’t wearing blusher and lip gloss in a team picture.

Here are some of the topics I plan on including in my series:

-Women Count for more than their beauty. Explore our cultures preoccupation with weight and beauty.

- Highlight other women who are making a difference.

- Give practical advice on how women can achieve their full potential.

- Read and review books emphasizing strong women or women who have discovered their passion. Study these women as role models and analyze what made them strong.

-Answer women’s questions on work and finance issues.

-Continue to get a clue about health and beauty products. Currently, there seems to be a product or procedure that will fix just about anything. I plan to continue researching what products are genuine and which are scams.

Throughout the year if you come across a blogger who is making a difference, a book related to the above topics or an article pointing out a health, diet or beauty product that is a scam I would appreciate it if you would bring it to my attention. Also, I do enjoy answering your finance and work questions so keep them coming. My email address is savvyworkinggalathotmaildotcom.

My next big thing

My goal for 2009 was to focus on getting my ducks in a row. I was feeling stagnant at my job and wasn’t sure if I wanted to remain in my current field or to pursue an alternative career altogether. After a year of personality assessments and soul searching, I’m sorry to say nothing in my life has really changed. This is partly due to the soft job market, but also to my discovery that my strength and passion is to read and learn. My desire to pursue a new career is more about taking the classes required for a new career than actually working in it.

Lately, I’ve been uninspired:
I wrote last week about not being busy at work. That along with the lousy spring weather in Wisconsin has left me feeling lethargic and uninspired. I even contemplated taking a break from blogging. Does anyone really want to read another blog post on “Why the Roth IRA conversion may not be for everyone?” Good because I don’t want to write about it. Even my new series, "Getting a Clue" seemed dull. The only problem with taking a break from blogging is I don’t have anything relevant to do in its place.

Then I read Penelope Trunk’s post how to get unstuck in life. She writes:

I coach so many people who tell me they can’t move forward because they don’t know where they are going. And I tell them, make something up. I tell them to commit to a goal, any goal, and move toward it until you think of a better one. The act of moving toward something helps you crystallize where, exactly, you want to be moving.

So what is next?
For the time being, I have no choice but to continue working at my present job. I still feel stagnant, but I need to buy groceries and pay my mortgage. To appease myself, I’ve signed up for two conferences one was last week and the other in a couple of months. And I do have this blog.

I spent most of my twenties and early thirties either studying for my business and accounting degrees or working multiple jobs in attempt to pay the tuition for these degrees. In my free time I read mindless fiction or books from Oprah’s book club. Books of substance were few and far between.

My focus for 2010 is going to be reading to “Get a Clue.”

I will blog about the books I’ve read and what I learn. My first series is going to be, “Getting a clue about aggressive advertising and marketing campaigns.” My favorite reference librarian has compiled a list of books for me. Since I don’t enjoy writing book reviews, I am signing up for Trish's non-fiction book challenge to push me into actually writing about these books. Who knows where this new goal will take me; hopefully to the next big thing. If not, at least I will be doing what I enjoy ~ reading.

Working with a “Master Manipulator”

I recently came across Miss Minchin’s fascinating post Manipulative people in the Workplace and was amazed how closely the personality traits of the “master manipulator” resemble that of the “hostile HR manager” who works at my company. I was especially intrigued to read:

The most dangerous of all workplace dangers, the manipulative coworker has mastered the art of aggression disguised as helpfulness, good intentions, or working "for the good of the company". These people are brilliant at hiding their true motives, while making you look incompetent, uncooperative, or self-centered. They can make you lose your job, do their job for them, or even get you to apologize to *them* for trying to confront them about their own bad behavior.

Over at Business Women's and Finishing School I talk about my experience working with a "Master Manipulator". Please check it out.

Who are you meant to be?

A few years ago, a gal I know participated in a local beauty contest. During the pageant’s question and answer segment, she was asked if she could be anyone living or dead who would she be? She replied, “I would be myself. I’ve lived with myself my whole life and know myself better than anyone else. I wouldn’t want to be anyone other than myself.”

At the time I thought what an odd answer; I would have gone with Madame Curie or Eleanor Roosevelt, but I couldn't help admiring her self-knowledge; I had no idea who I was.

Perhaps I am not the only one lacking self-knowledge, George Thompson author of Verbal Judo writes:

"We know the least about our real selves. That's why we must deal with how we see ourselves. Our real selves may consist of where we came from, our beliefs and values, and the way we’re raised. But our selves as we see them will be bogus unless we make an effort to really be honest and introspective. If we don't we will always have an area that can be exploited and can make us less effective than we could be."

As my “"Getting my ducks in a row project," continues to evolve, I’ve come to realize the first step is to know myself. Everyone from Aristotle to Rilke to Drucker tout the advantages of self-knowledge. Here is my latest find from life coach Tracey Houston:

The whole idea of knowing yourself more deeply is to provide a competitive advantage. The most successful companies are ones in which the leaders have a greater understanding of themselves. When you don’t know yourself, you don’t know your limitations or your strengths. And today, the key economic resource is people.

This brings me to this month’s issue of Oprah's Magazine themed “Who are you meant to be?” The magazine includes a quiz developed by Anne Dranitsaris designed to help you figure out what really defines you. It is based on seven categories called “striving styles.” The premise is everyone is wired with all seven styles, but most people have one that dominates. When you are engaged in your particular style, you have the greatest chance to fulfill your potential. The best part is you don’t have to buy the magazine; you can take here for free.

Here are my results:

Dominant style:
You are striving to be secure

A strong 2nd:
You are striving to be knowledgeable.

There were no surprises here. What I found most informative were the tips on what to watch out for: For the security style, rapidly changing environments (like a shaky economy) are very hard for you. As a result of such instability, you can spiral into a state where everything seems catastrophic and you're sure life will only get worse. (I'm thinking Slump).

"Until you know who you are, you cannot know what you can become" - Neils Lindhard

A follow-up to: "How to break out of a slump"

Last week, I wrote about my recent slump and discussed how to break out of one. Throughout the week, I came across a couple of inspirational posts which provided further thought and introspection:

Trent at The Simple Dollar posted a question from Mark who wonders, "Is this all there is?" Mark is a 37 year old CPA in the midst of a mini mid-life crisis. Over the years he has had various goals, such as graduate college, earn his CPA license, get a great job etc. Most of them were achievable within just a few short years. His next goal is to become debt free and he’s come to the realization that it will take some time for that to happen. Beyond that, the only real goal he has for himself is retirement and that is pretty far down the road. He asks Trent "Is this all there is?"

Trent responds with:
If all of the things we’re looking forward to in life are shrouded in the far-off future, we’re left with little to look forward to in the short term. This, unsurprisingly, leads to unhappiness. We feel aimless. We wonder if this is all there is in life. And sometimes we can become depressed. (This pretty much sums up what I've been going through)

The solution, I’ve found, is to keep busy in the short term, both with short term things and with smaller projects that fit in as part of the bigger goals I have in life.

He offers these suggestions:
Develop – and accomplish – month-long projects.
Seek out smaller projects (one to three months) that fit in the context of your larger goals.
Find a personal passion or hobby to channel yourself into.

Here are some additional awesome suggestions I found in the post's comments:

Every morning, take time to review the day and see what you have to look forward to. Try to schedule something every day.

New goals are the answer.

So, this is an occasion to revisit your values and convictions first, and then move forward with your goals armed with a sense of who you are.

I think Matthew needs to define what his life is all about. I recommend writing his obituary as it would read today if he passed. Then write it again. Only the second time, write the one that he would want written. He may find something that he can focus his life on or some goals that haven’t been fulfilled.

This has nothing to do with having a far off goal. It means his goals are not satisfying his internal needs. Even if he retires wealthy, he will still have this same emptiness unless he is focused on something that drives him – his true passion.

I also think you missed the real need of the writer, Trent. He doesn’t need to break down his empty, existentially unsatisfying goals into even smaller ones. He needs a goal broad and deep enough to satisfy him. He’s not going to find it in personal finance.

So what did I learn from all of this?
I spent time thinking about my own goals, values and convictions. I liked the recommendation to write your own obituary the way you would like it to be written. My first thought was I'd like to be remembered for helping others.  I am reminded of one of my favorite blog posts of all time, Tom McMahon wrote, "Everybody wants to help Save The Earth, but nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes." I know I don't have to accomplish huge undertakings like winning the Nobel Peace Prize, but I would like my endeavors to be more helpful than encouraging my company's vendors to fill our orders despite our inability to pay for them on a timely basis.

I may not be a successful CFO or work for a major Fortune 500 company, but I am helping one little company survive this economic downturn. And I do help people every day; just by being approachable I help many of my co-workers by answering their questions, offering advice or just listening to their problems and ideas.

I have a dream of some day working for a not for profit, teaching financial literacy or possibly assisting women entrepreneurs manage their company's finances. I've never pursued these goals, thinking I don't have enough time; I need more experience or maybe even more education. What I can do to incorporate these goals into my life on a weekly or monthly basis? I could write posts pertaining to these topics each week on my blog, volunteer at agencies providing these services; attend community events, lectures and classes all with my long term goals in mind. As far as helping others, if I really look I am sure I could find numerous opportunities to help others in some small way every day.

How to pull yourself out of a slump

Several years ago, I fell into a slump immediately upon receiving the results of my CPA exam; I had passed only one section, meaning I had to take the entire exam over again. Fortunately soon afterwards, I came across an Ask E. Jean advice column in Elle Magazine that went something like this:

Dear E. Jean,
I am miserable. I don’t have a boyfriend. The apartment I live in is a dump; I have a lousy job and rarely go out. I spend all of my free time reading romance novels and dreaming of the life I will someday have. A life where my "night in shining armor" will swoop down and rescue me from my miserable life. He will be a romantic who enjoys eating dinner by candlelight and sending me flowers. Eventually we will marry and live happily ever after with our two kids in a house with a big yard and a white picket fence. What can I do to make this life happen?
Miserable

Dear Miserable,
Take a lesson from single men. How many of them sit home reading romance novels? Instead they, along with their single buddies, spend their free time participating in competitive sports. Get moving. Join a softball or volleyball league. And read difficult books. Men don’t read romance novels; they read difficult books. Read Jane Austen and Emily Bronte. Instead of pining for a man to buy you flowers buy yourself a plant and put it in your apartment window. Stop dreaming about life and start living it. Your dreams will follow.

Miserable’s circumstances may have been different than mine, but I still found E. Jean’s advice motivating. I had a couple of months before I needed to begin the daunting task of studying for the exam again, to break out of my slump I decided to just do something. I signed up for golf and tennis lessons; I read Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudiceand planted a container herb garden that I placed in my apartment window. It worked. When the time came to begin studying I felt refreshed and able to take on the task.

Now once again, I find myself in a slump, the economy has taken a toll on the company where I work; I received a pay cut. Home and auto repair have put a dent in my savings. Dreams of travel, plans of early retirement or pursuing a different line of work have all been placed on hold. Suddenly, finding a new job in a more stable industry has taken precedence over finding the right job and getting my ducks in a row. My not quite right resume continues to go out unnoticed. My favorite recruiter resigned. I used to complain about everything always being the same; now everything is the same only worse than the same. How do I pull myself out of this slump?

Here are a couple of inspirational blog posts I’ve found offering ideas on breaking out of a slump:

John at Pick the Brain wrote an informative post explaining why we lose motivation. He writes:

There are 3 primary reasons we lose motivation.
Lack of confidence – If you don’t believe you can succeed, what’s the point in trying?
Lack of focus – If you don’t know what you want, do you really want anything?
Lack of direction – If you don’t know what to do, how can you be motivated to do it?
(This pretty much sums up how I've been feeling)

When his motivation starts to wane he:
Regains direction by creating a plan that contains two positive actions. The first one should be a small task you’ve been meaning to do, while the second should be a long-term goal. I immediately do the smaller task. This creates positive momentum. After that I take the first step towards achieving the long-term goal. Doing this periodically is great for getting out of a slump, creating positive reinforcement, and getting long-term plans moving.

Gretchen Rubin author of the Happiness Project provides some quick ways to boost happiness in her interview with CBS:

Get enough sleep.
Go for a walk.
Make your bed each day. (This is a great suggestion when you need to just do something)

Morrison at the former blog All Doors Considered believes “The Great Recession” is over. Business at her small company has picked up and her DH's friends are back to work (at lower paying jobs of course, but at least they are working). She has decided to rebuild herself and offers these steps:

#1. Start on yourself. When you look good, you feel good about yourself and life improves.
#2. Put your house in order. When you live well, you feel well and you start to live better.
#3. Rebuild your finances. With banks paying 1.5%, The Feds paying 0% on most bonds and Wall Street still without new regulations, this is going to be most difficult.

Janie at How I got out of $26,000 debt before getting married offers a 100 day challenge. She realized as of September 23rd there are only 100 days left in 2009 and thought it would be amazing to see how much she could accomplish in the last 100 days of the year. Starting on September 23, 2009 she gives everyone a little financial knowledge building challenge to complete each day. A daily challenge for 100 days is guaranteed to offer a couple of inspirational ideas.

It is sometimes easier to see what others need to do than for me to see what I need to do myself. My friend Alyssa has been talking about going back to school forever, but has never enrolled in even one class. When I asked her why, she said she didn’t want to take a class until she knew exactly what area of study she was going to pursue. It is easy for me to see she needs to take a class (any class) and see what happens from there.

For myself, I was telling a peer in my professional organization about my company’s dismal outlook. She recommended I contact every member I talk to regularly; tell them I’ve begun a job search and ask them to keep there eyes open. There, perhaps I have step one.

The message I take from all of this is the first step in breaking out of a slump is to just do something. It may not be the right thing or the perfect thing, but you need to start somewhere.

How do you pull yourself out of a slump?

If you like this post you may also like:
Tips for getting motivated

Discovering my strengths

I first heard of the Internet based StrengthsFinder Profile when Jane Pauley mentioned taking it in her book, "Skywriting: A Life Out of the Blue."

She wrote:
“I’d been reading books about management and organizations for a long time, recreationally. On our February trip to Boca Raton, my sister recommended Now, Discover Your Strengths, by Marcus Buckingham and Donald O. Clifton, who argue that it’s far more productive to develop a strength than to strengthen a weakness. A provocative idea—assuming I had strengths. I was dubious.

I went online and, with the pass-code that came with the book, registered and answered the questions. Experts call it a “testing instrument”—it’s not apparent to a layperson like me how the questions produce accurate results. Instantly, I got mine and my first thought was that I didn’t recognize this person they said I was.”

I was intrigued that Jane was surprised by her results, perhaps her struggles with bipolar disorder contributed to this surprise, but then even Peter Drucker felt few people could articulate their areas of strength. When I noticed Now, Discover Your Strengths was listed as one of Jack Covert's "100 Best Business Books of All Time," I decided I had to buy this book and take this test.

You do need a NEW copy of the book. If you get a used copy, the key provided in the book will NOT enable you to take the online assessment.

I ended up purchasing Tom Rath's book Strengths Finder 2.0 instead of Now, Discover Your Strengths because it included a new upgraded edition of the StrengthsFinder assessment. It also came with a more customized version of the top 5 themes (strengths) report and 50 ideas for action (10 strategies for building on each of your top 5 themes). Both books are based on the same premise you are more productive developing your strengths than strengthening a weakness.

A strength is different from a skill. A talent or strength is something you're naturally good at, while a skill is something you learn over time by building skills and knowledge. Buckingham’s definition of a strength is something you’re pulled toward and want to do. When you’re doing it, you’re highly engaged. You’re curious about how you can do it better. When you’re finished, you feel energized and want to do it again. Once you shape your work and life in ways that use your natural talents, you will make yourself more effective, productive and happy.

What are my top 5 strengths?

Learner
You have a great desire to learn and want to continuously improve. In particular, the process of learning, rather than the outcome, excites you.

Input
You have a craving to know more. Often you like to collect and archive all kinds of information.

Context
You enjoy thinking about the past. You understand the present by researching its history.

Intellection
You are characterized by your intellectual activity. You are introspective and appreciate intellectual discussions.

Individualization
You are intrigued with the unique qualities of each person and have a gift for figuring out how people who are different can work together productively.

Initially, I was not pleased with the results of my assessment. My first reaction was "I thought this assessment was going to teach me something I didn’t know." I was hoping my strengths would be a little more glamorous. The above so called talents were the same traits I’ve been trying to overcome since I was the geeky uncool nerd in high school. I shut my computer off in disgust.

Most upsetting was the talent "Input;" my collection of facts, quotes, and lists of books is a strength? I never considered myself a collector of things even if it is lists of books or favorite quotes. Also, I was surprised I wasn’t an "Analyzer" (I am an accountant) instead I am this context individualizer. I always hated this part of myself. I tend to think it makes me seem obsessed; like I just can’t let things go.

The aftermath:
Acceptance ~ I took the assessment in May. Over the past couple of months, I thought and read more about my 5 strengths and gradually began to accept them as who I really am. If I strip away all the layers of what I think I am supposed to be along with what I aspire to be my 5 themes really are the talents that I am really drawn to.

It turns out INPUT is a great strength to have if you are a writer, artist, or another type of creative. INPUT can keep you fresh. It might be a great strength for a “Blogger.”

Also, this isn’t the first time I've seen "Learner" listed as my top strength. Back in 2002, I took the free VIA online survey which gives an immediate report of character strengths in top-down order with a brief description of each strength.

My top 3 strengths from the VIA survey were:
Love of learning
Industry, diligence, and perseverance
Judgment, critical thinking, and open-mindedness

I retook this survey last week. The results for my top three strengths were identical to the 2002 results.

I wonder if #3 is another way of describing "Individualization?"

My weaknesses:
I have to admit I do spend a lot of time trying to develop my weaknesses. No matter how hard I try I will never naturally be a "Commander." A commander is someone who has presence, takes control of a situation and makes decisions. This explains why I sometimes struggle in my role as Accounting Manager and why I found being the President of my professional association a difficult task. I had to push myself to lead the group and make the difficult decisions. The reality is that in any area where we’re truly weak you can climb from pathetic up to really bad, but no matter how much you work at it, you don’t really improve.

A new career or answering the question of are you in the right career is not the assessment’s intended purpose. It is designed to be used as a performance enhancer:
I can use my results to better enhance my career; when seeking out a new position I am going to look for more of a supervisor role that focuses on teaching and individualization rather than a senior level "Commander" management role. Or perhaps I'll forego management altogether and become an expert in one particular accounting area.

I am most successful when I partner with people who have complementary strengths:
“Learners” love research and learning for the sake of learning. For me, results matter less than the experience of learning. My immediate boss is clearly “Analytical.” He searches for reasons and causes and has the ability to think about all the factors that might affect a situation. Between the two of us we take forever to get something done. I work much better when I work directly with our President. He is an “Achiever.” Achievers thrive on getting things done. They are driven by accomplishing things. “Learners” and “Achievers” complement each other well and together succeed like they might not as individuals.

Bottom line:
Based on my experience, I think Peter Drucker is correct; few people can articulate their areas of strength. Trying to discover my own strengths has not been an easy process or very effective. So many career books I’ve read in the past, Lawler Kang’s Passion at Work: How to Find Work You Love and Live the Time of Your Life comes to mind, instruct you to perform an exercise or two then assumes you’ve discovered your life’s passion. Now, I finally feel as though I have a baseline of strengths to draw from to continue my process of "Getting my Ducks in a Row."

If you have any interest in discovering your own strengths, I highly recommend taking the StrengthsFinder Profile or at the very least checking out the free VIA online survey. If you do so, please share your experience in the comments or post a link to your own blog post.

Happens Every Day: An All-Too-True Story

As part of my 2009 goal “Getting my Ducks in a Row,” I’ve been reading quite a few memoirs in search of inspiration to continue moving forward with those baby steps. In doing so, I’ve come to the conclusion Sarah Statz Cords had a valid point when she wrote on her blog Citizen Reader:

For a long time, I wasn't up to reading memoirs. They're almost like fiction for me in that there's so many of them available; I'm bound not to like the majority of them.

I was looking forward to Isabel Gillies book Happens Every Day: An All-Too-True Story; not all change or reinvention is the result of our own choice i.e. divorce, job loss, or loss of a loved one. In Gillies case, her life is turned upside down after her husband develops a crush on a fellow teacher and announces he is done with their marriage.

I first heard of this book on Gretchen Rubin’s blog The Happiness Project when she interviewed the author, Isabel Gillies. Isabel has done some soul searching on happiness and gave an inspiring somewhat introspective interview. I love this line:

"I think what one may want to achieve is not so much happiness but peace?"

The problem with the book is what the title states, "Happens Every Day" there just isn’t anything new here; Isabel meets boy, gets married, has two kids, relocates for his career, he has an affair, they break up. The story would make a great "Lifetime" movie complete with the requisite box of Kleenex.

I was hoping for more introspection from Gillies including what inspired her to move on after her marriage ended and the steps she took to rebuild her life. Unfortunately, she had given the major points of her introspection in the interview she gave Gretchen which I had previously read.

She did, however, offer two good pieces of advice for couples splitting up:

1. The first step for moving on is to get a really good lawyer.

2. My lawyer from Cleveland gave me a good piece of advice. He said we should come up with a separation agreement fast. If you are close to the marriage you remember what the good parts felt like. In the beginning you both will want to treat each other well, or at least fairly. The farther you get from the marriage, the more lawyers involved, the more he turns into an asshole he never really was before and she turns into an incredible bitch she wasn’t before. Don’t let lawyers talk for you because everyone will lose. Everyone losses anyway in a divorce. Both sides always have to give a little bit more than they want and lose a little bit more than they want. There are no winners.

Enough Said.

Does Happiness have a Set Point?

Recently on Gretchen Rubin's blog, "The Happiness Project", Gretchen interviewed the ever brazen Penelope Trunk about happiness. Penelope, in her words, is "pissy" about happiness research. She doesn’t think the discussion “Am I Happy” is productive or that there is a lot of happiness in life only a lot of hopefulness. Her happiness level in life doesn’t particularly change depending on where she is in life. She has a sort of setpoint. She veers from it in the same way she veers from her regular weight the day after Thanksgiving -- She always goes back to that setpoint.

In a later post, Gretchen attempts to debunk the myth Nothing Changes a Person's Happiness Level Much. Gretchen writes:

Major life events can have strong, lasting effects on people’s happiness. For example, although people adapt quickly to marriage, it takes much longer for widows to adapt to widowhood. Losing a job, getting divorced—these kinds of events make a significant lasting impact on happiness. Adaptation varies considerably among people. Some get over changes quickly, while others take much longer to adapt, if they ever do.

This is the way I’ve come to think about this question: People are born with a natural range of temperament, but circumstances, actions, and thoughts can push people up to the top of their range or down to the bottom of their range.

I find myself agreeing so completely with Alex Lickerman at Happiness in this world's comment; I am including it in its entirety:

I've found the level of happiness I enjoy seems to fluctuate from moment-to-moment depending on how resistant I am to the vagaries of external forces pressing on my life-condition. When good things happen I tend to feel good for a while and when bad things happen I tend to feel bad for a while. But I've become convinced that if we work to increase our capacity to experience happiness, like exercising a muscle it will grow stronger, and the set point around which our happiness fluctuates will inevitably rise. But it really does seem to require diligent, consistent effort and the pursuit of a path that actually works. It also seems to me there are far more bad ways to pursue happiness than good ways.

Summary:
I am not sure if happiness has a set point, but I do know when events in my life take a turn for the worst, I’ve learned the “process of pushing myself” out of my comfort zone to search out what makes me happier always seems to help; this is the same process I’m using in my current project "Getting My Ducks in a Row". Another technique I’ve employed with success is writing entries in my gratitude journal.

Also, I don't place much credence on personal assessments such as the Authentic Happiness Inventory Questionnaire. This questionnaire requires you to answer questions by picking one statement in each group that best describes the way you have been feeling. I think these types of questionnaires are easily skewed based on how you subconsciously feel the outcome should be.

If you'd like to read more on the subject of happiness; my favorite book on the subject is Tal Ben-Shahar's Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment.

Passion at Work

Unlike my brother, who has known since junior high school he wanted to be an architect; I never had a clear plan as to what I wanted to do when I grew up. I am now 46 and I still don’t know. I love asking recent high school grads what their career plans are. This is not because I am nosy, I’m looking for ideas.

Then there is my DH who never had a passion for a particular career, but knew himself well enough to make career decisions based on his proficiencies. By knowing his strengths and limitations, he knew when to take the promotion and when to say no thanks; I’ll stay where I’m at. I believe this has resulted in him being happier with his work in the long run.

As part of "Getting my Ducks in a Row," I read Lawler Kang’s Passion at Work: How to Find Work You Love and Live the Time of Your Life.It was recommended by a friend who found the exercises helpful in sorting out her own career issues. In the past, I’ve been skeptical of authors who claimed their book would help you discover things such as your work passion, but at this point in my life I what do I have to lose.

The book is divided into 5 P’s:
Passion – What do you want your tombstone to say?
Proficiencies- What can the whole and impassioned you be the best at.
Priorities – Matrix this.
The Plan
Prove – How do you fund your plan?

I read most of the book and made it through step three on the exercises (I was unable to complete step 4- the plan, since I didn't come up with a passion). Despite not discovering my life passion, I did learn some useful insights about myself from the exercises. In comparing the results from step one and step two, I was able to see clear patterns. I enjoy challenging projects; going back to school, becoming a CPA, analyzing financial data, even writing this blog. Perhaps, that is what I need, another challenging project. Something I am solely responsible for.

In reading this book, I may not have discovered my life passion, but I did come away with a better understanding of myself. I rate the book 3.5/5.