Why I’ll Never Be a Food Blogger

A couple of months ago a woman I know signed up for a six-week boot camp program to lose weight before an upcoming family wedding. She prefers participating in intense exercise programs over crash dieting when trying to lose weight quickly. Unfortunately this time around she injured her knee during a running exercise two weeks in. Her orthopedic reluctantly agreed to give her a cortisone shot before the wedding, so she'd be able to walk without pain. Since she still wanted to lose weight, she asked when she could rejoin her boot camp class. To her surprise he said, "Never."  Considering her age - 52 and her physical condition he would never recommend she participate in let alone begin an exercise program with a boot camp.  Instead he suggested she change her diet and once her knee healed - walk for 30 minutes every day.  If she did these two things he guaranteed she'd lose weight.

What diet changes did he recommend?
The majority of her diet should consist of fruits, vegetables and proteins.  A serving of protein should be the size of her fist with the remainder of her plate being filled with fruits and vegetables.  

An idea for a food blog is born:
Almost immediately she began complaining about her new diet: fruits and vegetables were expensive, they spoiled too quickly, her husband and son wouldn't eat them, it was only week two and she was already tired of salads.

I came up with an idea for a food blog - The Savvy Diet - it would be based on meals consisting of vegetables, fruits and proteins.  I began researching seasonal foods and planning healthy menus with families and budgets in mind.  I took photos of my meals and jotted down post ideas. I began reading Dianne Jacob's book Will Write for Food: The Complete Guide to Writing Cookbooks, Blogs, Reviews, Memoir, and More (Will Write for Food: The Complete Guide to Writing Blogs,).

Why I'll never be a food blogger:
While reading about good writing and a food writer's voice in Will Write for Food I became overwhelmed with feelings of imposter syndrome not only for food writing, but for all writing.  (Note my absence from this blog).  I set the book aside.

Then while perusing a recipe for peaches and cream cake given to me by the above woman I noticed she had written in the margin next to the ingredients, "I use raspberry flavored peaches (Del Monte)."  At that moment I knew I was not a foodie and would never be a food blogger.  I would never, not ever in this life time, have thought to add a raspberry flavored peaches to this recipe or to any recipe.  I returned my copy of Will Write for Food to the library without ever reading the chapter on food blogging.

What does this mean for my Career Reinvention Challenge?
According to James Altucher in his post The Ultimate Cheat Sheet For Reinventing Yourself to discover your "it" you should go to the bookstore and find 500 books about it. If you get bored three months later go back to the bookstore. As to my career reinvention I've ruled out food blogging/writing and I'm heading back to the library.

What qualities do you think make a successful food writer/blogger?

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When Taking a Pay-Cut is a Good Career Move

This month The Savvy Reader Book Club is reading Sheryl Sandberg’s book Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead. Today is the second in a series of posts I will be writing though out the month inspired by Lean in. Last week we discussed What does "lean-in" mean for you?

Today I want to share what may have been my biggest career mistake:

In the chapter, “It’s a Jungle Gym, Not a Ladder” Sheryl Sandberg introduces the metaphor coined by Pattie Sellers “Careers are a jungle gym, not a ladder.” It implies the former career model of spending your entire career at one company continuously progressing up the ladder (while staring at the butt of the person above) no longer applies to most workers. Instead today’s career path is more like a jungle gym. Sheryl writes:

There’s only one way to get to the top of a ladder, but there are many ways to get to the top of a jungle gym. The jungle gym model benefits everyone, but especially women who might be starting careers, switching careers, getting blocked by external barriers, or reentering the workforce after taking time off. The ability to forge a unique path with occasional dips, detours and even dead ends presents a better chance for fulfillment. Plus, a jungle gym provides great views for many people, not just those at the top. (Pg. 53)

Sheryl has seen both men and women miss out on great opportunities by focusing too much on career levels.

This message really hit home when Sheryl writes about her friend who after working as a lawyer for four years realizes instead of shooting for partner she’d rather join a company in a sales or marketing role:

One of her clients was willing to hire her in this new capacity but wanted her to start at the ground level. Since she could afford the temporary pay cut, I urged her to make the jump, but she decided against taking a job that put her “back four years.” I understood how painful it was for her to lose hard-earned ground. Still, my argument was that if she was going to work for the next thirty years, what difference does going “back” four years really make? If the other path made her happier and offered her a chance to learn new skills, that meant she was actually moving forward. (Pg. 61)

I had spent years working full-time as a staff accountant while taking the courses I needed to sit for the CPA exam in my spare time. After I passed the exam I began searching for a new job that would utilize my new certification and pay me a larger salary. I talked to one of my former classmates who had been hired by a local CPA firm. She offered to set up an informational interview for me with a partner at her firm to discuss potential job opportunities. She did say I would most likely have to take a significant pay-cut if I were hired as an entry-level accountant at her firm. Since I was looking for an increase in pay not a decrease, I decided to pass on the informational interview. I then proceeded to not send out a single resume to an accounting firm. Instead I went on to work as a manager in an accounting department at a medium-sized company in a dying industry.

Sheryl has learned from her own experience the only criterion that mattered when picking a job was – fast growth. When companies grow quickly, there are more things to do than there are people to do them. When companies grow more slowly or stop growing, there is less to do and too many people to not be doing them. Politics and stagnation set in, and everyone falters.

Another aha moment – I picked this job:
I have always felt I worked at my current job because they were the only company that offered me a job, but while reading Lean in I realized I picked this job. I consciously chose not to pursue a career with an accounting firm. I listened as my current boss informed me the hours were long and the money was tight at his company. Later he would joke I was the only one who came back for a second interview.

I suffered from imposter syndrome – this is a phenomenon where capable people are plagued by self-doubt and is also mentioned in the book. I was  risk averse and terrified I was not qualified to perform a job that was too far out of my comfort zone. 

Sheryl writes about this too:

One reason women avoid stretch assignments and new challenges is that they worry too much about whether they currently have the skills they need for a new role. This can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, since so many abilities are acquired on the job. An internal report at Hewlett-Packard revealed that women only apply for open jobs if they think they meet 100 percent of the criteria listed. Men apply if they meet 60 percent of the requirements. This difference has a huge ripple effect. Women need to shift from thinking “I’m not ready to do that” to thinking “I want to do that – and I’ll learn by doing it.” 

Wow what an eye-opener. I can’t help but wonder where my career would be if I had leaned into a career as a CPA – pay-cut and all – rather than picking a job in another dying industry because that was what I was familiar with.

I have come to the conclusion this book should be given to every women upon graduation. 

Would you consider taking a pay-cut if it meant advancing your career in the long-run? What was your biggest career mistake?

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The Biggest Money Mistake Women Make

I’ve recently read several articles revealing women’s money mistakes; not saving enough for retirement, incurring too much debt, giving money to family members, taking on children’s debts by co-signing their loans, and relying on the men in their lives to handle finances and investments. While spending too much on handbags and not knowing how much your husband’s 401(k) is worth are not smart money practices, I feel the biggest money mistake a woman can make is:

Not negotiating a higher salary
 

According to Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever in their book Women Don't Ask: The High Cost of Avoiding Negotiation--and Positive Strategies for Change:

By not negotiating a first salary, an individual stands to lose more than $500,000 by age 60—and men are more than four times as likely as women to negotiate a first salary.

$500,000 could have bought a lot of overpriced handbags over the course of a women’s life. In addition to earning less in wages, not negotiating a higher salary leads to women contributing less to their 401(k) plans, receiving smaller 401(k) matching contributions and earning smaller social security credits.

Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever also reveal:

• Many women are so grateful to be offered a job that they accept what they are offered and don't negotiate their salaries.
• Women often don't know the market value of their work: Women report salary expectations between 3 and 32 percent lower than those of men for the same jobs; men expect to earn 13 percent more than women during their first year of full-time work and 32 percent more at their career peaks.

This was certainly true in my case. I’ve never negotiated for a higher salary not once. When I started out in my career I had no idea what I was worth – my confidence was so low upon graduating from college I actually thought I was unemployable. When I was offered my first real job at $6.29 an hour in 1986 I was happy to just be employed.

 

I wasn’t the only woman not negotiating:

My second job a year later paid $14,500 a year. I thought this was low until my female co-worker hired a few months prior with similar qualifications disclosed she was earning even less.
 

As my career progressed I continued to avoid negotiating salary:

Once I became a CPA in the late 90’s, I relied on my credentials to ensure I was paid a fair wage. I was working at an engineering firm when I obtained my CPA license.  Shortly afterwards my employer fired my manager who they thought was lazy and offered me his job. My new annual salary would be $35,000, a 9% increase over my current salary of $32,000. My former lazy manager had been making $75,000 a year. I accepted this position without questioning my new salary, researching the market or negotiating for more.

 

Other attitudes at the time:

One of my female co-workers, ten years my senior and our company’s office manager offered the following advice:

She felt it was preferable to make a lower salary than what you were worth because in doing so you were insuring employment. Throughout her career she had witnessed numerous individuals who were underpaid be the first to be hired and the last to be let go when layoffs came around. In her opinion, the highest paid employee was always the first one fired.

Why this advice is so horrible?

Unfortunately, I think she mistook highest paid for overpaid. In the recent economic downturn, in addition to down-sizing every employee who wasn’t absolutely necessary many employers reduced the salaries of their remaining employees. Now an underpaid employee was earning even less. Salary-cuts at my current company remained in effect for three years. I lost $15,000 in gross wages. Already on the low end of the salary scale, during the salary reduction years I was substantially underpaid for my position and work experience.

 

Men in my circles do negotiate more often:

Last year my husband received the standard cost-of-living raise during his salary review. At the end of his meeting he expressed displeasure with his raise, reiterated his yearly accomplishments and told his manager he had been expecting more. His manager agreed to think over his decision and get back to him. I was astonished. Never in my life would I have asked for more money. His company was still struggling, despite my husband’s project going well; how could he expect more money. My husband felt differently. He was working on one of the most important projects of his career at this company. There was never a better time to ask for more money besides what did he have to lose. He was right and ended up receiving the raise he had been expecting.

 

While raises have been frozen at my company for four years:

Three male managers I know of have asked for more money. One was flat-out refused – he handled the negotiations so poorly he eventually was demoted; one was denied then given a surprise year-end bonus of $10,000 and the third received exactly what he asked for.

 

Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever make the point that the male approach to negotiating isn’t actually superior to women’s:

Men are not better negotiators than women. Women more often than men take a "collaborative" or cooperative approach to negotiation that has been shown to produce agreements that are better for both sides. Women are more likely than men to listen to the needs and concerns of the other side, communicate their own priorities and pressures, and try to find solutions that benefit all parties—to find the win/win solutions. This approach not only leads to better outcomes for everyone, it often produces creative solutions to problems that might have been overlooked by men taking a more competitive or adversarial approach. Also, by looking for those win/win solutions, women tend to preserve and enhance long-term business relationships—they don't burn as many bridges as men who focus on short-term gains.

It is also important to note:

 

Failing to negotiate is not just a boomer problem:

Younger women may assume that things have changed far more than they have, but according to Babcock and Laschever studies among men and women in their 20s and early 30s, men are much more likely to initiate negotiations than women.

  

Don’t forget to negotiate your bonus:

In addition to negotiating salary, many jobs now come with a pre-negotiated bonus plan. Women may think they are being paid a fair salary, but are  unaware their male counterparts negotiated and are earning a much higher year-end bonus. While researching salaries with your networks don’t forget to collect information on bonus plans. 

 

Have you ever attempted to negotiate a higher salary? What was the result? What do you feel is the biggest money mistake women make?

 

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I'm 50-Years Old and Still Can’t Think on My Feet

For most of July my boss, our company’s CFO, has been out of the office due to a family emergency. In the interim I've been covering for him. At first it was kind of fun – doing or delegating his work –  most of which he shouldn’t be doing anyway. But as the month drags on and I and our accounting department fall further behind, playing CFO has stopped being fun.

Then our HR Manager (regular readers may recall I've had issues with her in the past) decided our payroll person was incorrectly processing some of our payroll deductions. She called me into her office and began berating this employee behind her back telling me how stupid she was. Instead of standing up for my employee I offered to look into it. I went back to my office and searched how to process the specific deductions on the IRS.gov website. What our HR Manager had concluded didn’t make sense. I came up with a couple of examples as to why, braced myself and went back to her office to explain why she was mistaken. Of course I couldn't convince her and she ended up insisting she needed to check into the matter herself. It has been two days and I still haven't heard from her, so I assume her sources informed her she was wrong. If our CFO had been here this would have been a simple fix - I would have asked him, he would have said our payroll employee was correct and the HR Manager was wrong end of story.

This is such a minor incident why does it bother me?
Because here I am turning 50 this week and I still can’t think on my feet. I don't have a thick enough skin to stand up for my employee and articulate my thoughts when I am put on the spot.  When my boss retires in a few years I will never be strong enough to be the CFO on a permanent basis. Several years ago while re-reading my journals I discovered two years in a row I had written almost the identical entry on my birthday – in the upcoming year I am going to work on becoming a stronger person.

So here I am turning 50 and still challenging myself to becoming a stronger person in the upcoming year.

I didn't think I should blog about this. My challenge is so ordinary and there are others who have written about similar projects - Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia (I couldn't take all the crying),  Noelle Hancock's My Year with Eleanor: A Memoir (Her dialog was atrocious - like nails on a chalkboard) and Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project: Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun (Happiness is her job how can the average person find time for this). Then I came across Danielle LaPorte’s post "The Biggest Threat to Your Creativity" where she writes:

... is the fear that it’s already been done, said, created.

(So why bother?)

Say it, do it, make it anyway —

but tell YOUR story along the way.

The story of how you came to know what you know.

The story of what you want to know more of.

The story of why you do what you do.

        The story of how you came to care.

And that’s how you create what’s never been created before

Danielle Laporte has inspired me. I’m going to do this. My 50th year is going to be all about:

Finding my Strength

For starters I have added Danielle Laporte's book The Fire Starter Sessions: A Soulful + Practical Guide to Creating Success on Your Own Terms to my reading list.

I have signed up for the Chopra Center's 21-Day Meditation Challenge beginning July 16th. Guided by Deepak Chopra, and other master teachers I will learn practical techniques for becoming more calm, centered, and happy. The challenge is  21 days because studies have shown that it takes 21 days of consistent behavior to change a habit or create a new one.

I am also challenging myself to read books about those who have persevered and succeeded despite having obstacles in their lives.

I have a few other ideas, but nothing definite.  Have you taken on a similar challenge? Do you have any suggestions for me? If so please share.

My Life in France

Motivation for reading:
I added Julia Child and Alex Prud'homme's book My Life in France to my reading list after a friend recommended it. He found Julia’s story fascinating and was convinced her husband Paul worked as a spy while they were in Europe. The book is also included on the list of 50 Books Every Young Woman Should Read.

What is the book about?
The book was written by Julia Child in the last few years of her life with the assistance of her grand-nephew, writer Alex Prud'Homme. It is based on the letters Julia and her husband Paul wrote to family and friends while living in Europe most notably the letters Paul sent to his twin brother Charles. The book begins when Julia moves to France in 1948 and covers her life while emphasizing her passion for French cooking.

My thoughts:
This book is a delightful read; there is so much to learn and enjoy from Julia's story:

First, I have come to the conclusion there is not a woman out there who has not suffered from imposter syndrome at some point during their lives.

When Julia and Paul first arrive in France:

Paul strode ahead, full of anticipation, but I hung back, concerned that I didn't look chic enough, that I wouldn't be able to communicate, and that the waiters would look down their long Gallic noses at us Yankee tourists. (Pg. 16)

And:

My biggest problem was my continuing lack of worldliness. Maybe if you concentrate on the fact that you are 41 years old. I scolded my reflection; you'd remember to be more worldly. (Pg. 177)

Maybe there is hope for me yet ~ Julia was a late bloomer:
Julia married Paul Child, the love of her life, when she was 34. Upon arriving in France, she didn’t know a word of French, nothing about the country or French cooking. She was 37 when she enrolled in Le Cordon Bleu cooking school:

Upon reflection, I decided I had three main weaknesses: I was confused (evidenced by a lack of facts, an inability to coordinate my thoughts, and an inability to verbalize my ideas); I had a lack of confidence, which caused me to back down from forcefully stated positions; and I was overly emotional at the expense of careful, “scientific” thought. I was thirty-seven years old and still discovering who I was. (Pg. 67)

Julia's success has to be attributed to her perfectionism and her uncompromising work ethic:
While working on her first book, Mastering the Art of French Cooking, which took her almost eight years to complete, she tested, and re-tested the recipes, sometimes dozens of times. All of this was done with no guarantee that the book would ever be published.

I had to iron out all those questions of how and why and for what reason: otherwise we'd end up with just an ordinary recipe- which was not the point of the book. I felt we should show our readers how to make everything top notch, and explain, if possible,, why things work one way and not another. There should be no compromise. (Pg, 133)

Her cooking advice ~ don’t make excuses:

I don't believe in twisting yourself into knots of excuses and explanations over the food you make. When one's hostess starts in with self-deprecations such as "Oh, I don't know how to cook...," or "Poor little me...," or "This may taste awful...," it is so dreadful to have to reassure her that everything is delicious and fine, whether it is or not. Besides, such admissions only draw attention to one's shortcomings (or perceived shortcomings), and make the other person think, "Yes, you're right, this really is an awful meal!" (Pg. 71)

And have fun:

My hope was that readers would use From Julia Child's Kitchen as if it were a private cooking school. I tried to structure each recipe as a class. And the great lesson embedded in the book is that no one is born a great cook, one learns by doing. This is my invariable advice to people: Learn how to cook- try new recipes, learn from your mistakes, be fearless, and above all have fun! (Pg. 297)

On why she never opened a restaurant ~ she knew herself:

I had long ago decided not to go into the restaurant trade myself, because it required total commitment; furthermore, in a restaurant one is restricted to cooking what’s on the menu, and I preferred to experiment with many different dishes. (Pg. 294)

A lesson on moving on ~ giving up La Pitchoune her beloved home in France:

People seemed surprised when I told them that it wasn’t an especially difficult or emotional decision. But I have never been very sentimental. La Pitchoune was a special place, but the heart had gone out of it for me now. It was the people I shared it with, more than the physical property, that I would miss. (Pg. 300)

In closing:
Julia’s success in a male-dominated field came at a time when few American middle-class women worked out of the home. There are many business and life lessons to attain from her story, for example how Julia used her network to get Mastering the Art of French Cooking published, how she managed working with her two partners and her graduation from Le Cordon Bleu despite initially failing the final exam. In addition to her incredible work ethic, Julia was gracious and had fun. Read her book to learn how she did it.